I woke to the sounds of someone heartbreakingly in the dark. A hand landed across my torso and I open my bleary eyes looking around. The person moaned again and my heart nearly broke as I turned over to find him throwing his hand over his eyes. He was having another nightmare again. No doubt reliving the most horrifying point in his entire life. I the light by the nightstand and saw that their were tears running down his cheeks.

"Ohh Jonghyun..." I said softly as I moved to wipe his tears with one hand while I tried to shake him awake with the other. "Jonghyun.." I shook him lightly. "Jonghyun wake up." He moaned out loud again and this time it was followed by a sob. My heart couldn't break anymore for him at this point could it and yet as I struggled to rouse him from his nightmare I, too, was close to tears in aching for him. I hated it so much that he suffered so much alone. He refused to share the burden, preferring to shoulder it alone and it was at times like these when he crumbled that made me die a little inside. "Jonghyun wake up yeobo." I shook him roughly continuously and eventually his eyes opened fully. He had a habit of sleeping with his eyes partially open. How he managed that, well, only God knew.

Slowly his eyes focused on me and then he grabbed me tightly and burst out crying loudly. I held him to me rubbing his back and murmuring soothingly in his ears. All the while my heart broke and tears began running down my cheek for him. It hurt so bad to see him like this and though I wished he would open up that part of his heart and let me share his sorrows, I didn't push him. When he was ready to talk to me about it he would. So for the past one and a half year since we'd began dating I'd been by his side holding him like this while he cried it all out. I had asked the first time but he had refused to say anything about it. All he had said was, "I don't want to bring such a dark shadow in our relationship. This beautiful thing that we've started should not get tainted." 

I had nodded accepting that he wanted to keep the two separate. I had known from the time we had first started talking that he was broken inside and though I hoped I could help him become whole again I knew it couldn't happen without his effort as well. However, the shadow had still come into our relationship, as we both discovered when he'd asked me to move in with him on our one year anniversary. I remembered how nervous he had been when he'd asked me and how brightly his eyes had sparkled when I'd agree to living with him. It had been a beautiful day indeed.

He'd called me and told me to be ready by 19:00hrs that night as we were going out. When he had arrived he'd given me a quick kiss and then a blindfold had covered my eyes.

"Jonghyun?" I'd asked wondering what he was up to.

"Well. I'm afraid I don't trust you to not peep if I told you to close your eyes, so I had to take drastic measure." was all he'd said as he guided me into his car. I'd harumphed playfully and heard him chuckle as we drove off to where ever he was taking us. After what had seemed like an eternity, we'd finally come to a stop and he'd come around and open the door for me, leading me out and to the destination.

"We're here." He said letting go of my hand and I reached out blindly for him. He chuckled. "On the count of three you can removed the blindfold." I nodded. "Hana..dul...set..."

I reached up behind me to undo the blind fold quickly and  then blinked rapidly as my sight came back. I looked up and had my breath knocked out of me at the sight my eyes beheld. Looking around slowly I realized we were in a bandstand-like structure thingy with the lake in front of us, shimmering in the moonlight and fairy light that had been woven delicately into the chiffon style garland that graced the bandstand. In the midst was a table set for two with candles and the whole works. On the ground there were rose petals sprinkled lightly shining in the light. It was altogether out of a fairytale. The feeling was so surreal and I was only half aware that I was gaping before I hastily closed my mouth.

"Well? What do you think?" a voice asked and I turned in the direction of the voice and had my breath knocked out of me again. There stood the crowning piece of this entire fantasy setting, my prince Kim Jonghyun looking as dashing as I'd ever seen him in his tailored suit and tie. He was standing some ways back allowing me to take in the surrounding but my eyes were all for him now, drinking him like a thirty adventurer happening upon an oasis in the midst of a desert. My eyes traveled over him from shoes to hair and I noticed he was nervously waiting for my answer.

I smiled and said, "I'm liking very much what my eyes see~"

He rolled his eyes and laughed moving towards me. "Not me. I mean I know I'm just so dashing females can't take their eyes off of me and all,"  He said grinning widely no doubt extremely pleased by my comment "but I was inquiring as to how you like what I've prepared."

"And I told you," I replied walking around the space. "I'm liking what my eyes are seeing."

"Ouch!" He replied dramatically clutching his chest in the general region of his heart. "The lady hits where it hurts."

I had laughed lightly moving out of his reach but he had grabbed my hands swiftly and pulled me into his arms. "Happy anniversary love."  He had whispered before kissing me long and softly.

"Happy anniversary Jonghyun." I had whispered when the kiss had ended. "And I do love how smashing you look~"

"I have something for you."  He'd said holding me at arms length and fishing in his jacket pocket. Curious I had watched as he pulled out a small box from his pocket and held it out to me. "A little token of my love."

Taking it I opened it to find a ring inside. No not just any ring but an ETERNITY ring! I had been so shocked as I looked up at Jonghyun. He bit his lips slightly before taking the box from my hands and took the ring out. "Will you move in with me?" He asked slipping the ring onto my finger. There were tears in my eyes now and I saw the nervousness on his face as he waited for my reply.

"Yes..YES!"  I'd answered elated and he had grinned, lifted me up and spun me around before we proceeded to eat and then dance slowly before he'd drop me home. The next day I'd packed and moved in with him with our parents approval.

Soon after I realized, that on occasions the nightmares came and from the random mutterings I'd derived the source of the nightmare. Knowing that he wouldn't want speak of it, I had held him every time and soothed him until he went back to sleep. The next day neither of us would say anything about and just go about our days as if it hadn't happened. The morning after the first incident he had gotten up to find me sipping my tea quietly in the living room with a book. I remembered how nervous he had looked as he sat down in front of me, no doubt waiting for me to ask about what had happened. I smiled remembering how relieved he'd looked when I had merely greeted him brightly and told him that he'd have to make his own coffee unless he'd rather have tea.

He'd leaned forward and gave me a light kiss and murmured, "Thanks. I think I'd try some of your tea."

"It's in the kettle in the kitchen. You'll have to heat it." I said putting my head back into my book. As there was only silence I looked up to find him pouting cutely at me. "Alright. I'll do it for you." I said throwing my hands up in surrender and I'd been rewarded with a dazzling smile and I'd thought then that I'd go to Hell and back if I had, just to keep him smiling like that.

His hold on me had slacken now and I looked down to see him on the verge of dozing off and I smiled happy that it was over for the time being. I lightly pushed him down onto the bed and he opened his eyes to look at me.

"Go to sleep, love." I said brushing his hair aside on his forehead and his eyes closed. Glad that he would be fine now I moved to get out of bed when his hand grabbed mine and I turned to find him looking at me.

"Where're you going?" He asked hoarsely.

"For some water. Would you like some?" I asked smiling and he nodded. I left and went into the kitchen for the water and when I came back I saw his eyes closed and his breathing even. I assumed he'd fallen asleep and so I placed the glass of water on his nightstand and was covering it when he sat up in bed.

"Oh I thought you'd gone back to sleep." I said startled and he shook his head cutely. God knew just how much I loved this guy even with his hair sticking out in every direction like it was now. "Here," I said giving him the glass of water and he took it and drank it quickly before putting it back on the nightstand and I covered it. I made my way back into bed and turned off the light. I felt his arms pull me into him and I snuggled closer happily falling asleep soon after wrapped up in his embrace.

a/n - well while i was suffering from insomnia the idea came to me to write this so...hope you like it~

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