JONGHYUN POV

I opened the door to my apartment and stepped in to greet the dimly lit foyer. It was midnight and I wondered if she was home or if she was out. Had she waited for me? Or did she decide enough was enough? I hadn't called to inform her that I would be coming back. I hadn't called since that night. In all honesty I had been very busy and I had been too scared to call her. Why? Because I didn't want to hear her say that she really couldn't do this anymore and end their relationship. Yes, I had become a coward. I glanced at my phone and noted the time. Jinki hyung had probably reached back in Korea by now. We had decided that we would all come back separately and at a very late hour to prevent fans from making a fuss and spreading photos. Key would be brought back in utter secrecy for several reasons. I had elected to come back first because I couldn't wait to get back home to her and make things right and so here I was.

Slipping my shoes off, I placed them on the shoe rack smiling slightly at the sight of her shoes on the rack next to mine. At least that quelled a bit of my uneasiness and I knew now for sure that she hadn't moved out of the apartment. Dragging my bags behind me I made my way towards the bedroom and turned the door knob as quietly as possible with a rapidly beating heart. The door knob turned and I pushed the door open relieved that she hadn't bother to lock it and stepped inside. My eyes went straight to the bed and I felt my heart jolt in my chest as there before my eyes in the room dimly lit by the moonlight filtering through the curtains was a bundle on the bed. I felt a happy and relieved smile break out on my face and I placed my luggage quielty in a corner before moving towards the bed.

There she was bundled up fast asleep beneath the duvet, hugging the extra pillow on the bed and I wondered if that was how she slept every night since I had left for the states. Had she slept clutching my pillow every night wishing that it was me and that I was not half way around the world trying to decide whether or not I loved her enough? My heart clenched as I heard her whimper in her sleep and clutch tightly at the pillow murmuring my name. I wanted to hug her and comfort her though I probably was in no right to do it but it had been so long since I had held her. I moved to head around to my side of the bed when she shifted and murmured,

"Don't leave me Jonghyun..."

I felt my heart clench painfully in my chest as I thought of how much pain I had caused her with my stupidness. I pulled off my coat and slipped in between the duvet and gently wrapped my arms around her trying not to wake her. I pressed a light kiss to her forehead and whispered, "Never."

It was awkward trying to hug her when the pillow was being a but I managed somehow since she had such a firm grip on the pillow. I would just have to sleep without a pillow. I smiled as I closed my eyes, praying that she would be pleased to see me when she woke up the next morning and that she would listen to what I have to say. And like that the jet lag took over and I fell asleep.

YOUR POV

I was dreaming and it wasn't a pleasant dream. It was dark and I was lost. It felt like I was running in a maze and I was scared because I had been searching for Jonghyun but I couldn't find him. My heart was beating at a painfully fast rate or maybe the pain was from my heart aching for Jonghyun. Where had he gone and left me? We had been walking through a beautiful garden happily and then we had turned a corner and he had vanished. Suddenly the plants didn't seem so cheery and nice and the scenery became dark and haunting. The eerie atmosphere caused me to look around in fear and when something slithered by my ankle I had taken off running blindly. The scenery changed and everything became pitch black but still I ran because if I kept running surely there would be an end right? And maybe Jonghyun would be there waiting for me right? And so I kept running even as the fear was eating me from the inside.

"Don't leave me Jonghyun..." I whimpered as I kept running even as I felt my legs on the verge of giving out on me.

Suddenly as if by some magic there it was, the often spoken of light at the end of the tunnel. I felt hope bud in my heart and I began running with renewed vigor towards the light as it became brighter and brighter. I focused solely on the light as I ran and then a figure appeared in the light and as I got closer I could make out the shape and could tell it was a male. My heart skipped a beat and I felt the hope inside of my beginning to bloom. I was closer now and I could see light hair and a face still cast in shadows. My heart was beating a bit faster now. I kept my eyes trained on the figure as I ran and now I could make out the eyes and nose and everything else and the hope inside of me had bloomed into a beautiful flower. Why? Because standing at the end of the dark tunnel and illuminated by that beautiful light was an even more beautiful person. It was him. He was smiling as he held his arms out towards me and I ran straight into those arms happily as the dark fell away to be replaced by the beautiful garden we had been in earlier. He was holding me tightly in his arms as I clutched onto him like a life saving line. He kissed my forehead and whispered in my ears,

"Never."

He kissed my forehead again as I felt a big happy smile bloom on my face.

"Jonghyun." I muttered hugging him tightly.

I felt my eyes flutter a bit as the dream vanished and I shifted on the bed frowning slightly at the weight of something around my waist. It almost felt like Jonghyun was there hugging me like he had been in that dream. Wow. Talk about realistic dreams. Nevertheless, I wasn't willing to let this feeling go and so I closed my eyes and went back to sleep enveloping myself in the feeling of having his arms around me.

When my eyes fluttered open again I realized that the feeling was still there and it was now coupled with the feeling that my feet were tangled with something that was not the duvet. My ears also picked up the sound of soft snoring that was definitely not mine and I frowned blinking my eyes to force the sleep out of it. For a minute I panicked as my senses told me that there was someone else in the bed with me. I hadn't done anything I shouldn't have right? I scrunched up my face trying to recall last night. I had come home alone and had gone to bed alone so then how is it that I was not alone? I was in my own bed right?

'OH GOD PLEASE TELL ME I DIDN'T GET WASTED AND CHEATED ON JONGHYUN!!'

I began berating myself as I couldn't even remember going out to drink and felt the panic step in even more because I knew that I was one of those people who forgot about the things that happened when they get wasted. The sound of a very masculine snore next to me was not doing anything to help. I subtly slipped my hands to check myself and almost sighed out loud in relief when I realized that I still had my clothes on and no part of my body felt funny. Not even my head was pounding in the telltale hangover. So then, how was I not alone in my bed? I frowned trying to think that over and then I felt my body stilled as I almost face palmed myself. This was not just my apartment. It also had another owner. I felt my heart rate quicken in my chest as I thought about it. Had he come home? Or was I hallucinating? Was I ready to face him?

'OH FOR THE LOVE OF SHISUS GIRL!!! THE MAN IS RIGHT NEXT TO YOU IN BED JUST OPEN YOUR EYES AND CONFIRM IT!!'

'But....But....'

'What but now?'

'What if it's not him?'

'Well let's see....ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT IDIOT.'

'Aish okay okay...'

I slowly opened my eyes and peeked carefully in front of me. I felt my breath catch in my chest as my eyes widened to unbelievable size. There lying with his face towards me was none other than Kim Jonghyun. I looked down and I realized that his hand was around my waist while the other was under his head. Looking down, I found what I had by now figure out; my legs were tangled with his. I looked back up to his peacefully sleeping face and wondered when he had come home. I looked around and my gaze fell on his suitcase in a corner and I blinked rapidly not sure whether to be psyched or not that this was reality and not a hallucination of mine. My eyes went back to his face as he shifted slightly and then I carefully removed the pillow that I was clutching and moved to place it beneath his head. I tried to not wake him but being the light sleeper he was, he frowned and wrinkled his nose cutely and I bit my cheeks to keep myself from chuckling. I gently raised his head up and slipped the pillow beneath him, praying his jet lag would keep him asleep as I tried to slip out of his arms and out of the bed. There was no such luck. The arm around me tightened and he murmured,

"Where do you think you're going?"

I turned back to face him to see that his eyes were still closed and I frowned. Was he sleep talking? I poked his cheek lightly and I heard him chuckle.

"Can I bite that finger?" He asked, his eyes still closed and I pulled back my finger hastily. I looked down at him for a while but he made no further movement. I was confused. Was he asleep? Chewing on my lips, I reached out my finger slowly towards his lips and when nothing happened after a few seconds I pouted.

"He's asleep." I grumbled as I made to pull my finger back and that was when he opened his mouth and took my finger into his mouth. My eyes widened as I looked down at him. He grinned and opened his eyes to look up at me. "If you were awake, you should have just said so..."

"And miss out on teasing you?" He asked grinning around my finger. I pulled my finger trying to get it out of his mouth but he held on tight. "Are you happy to see me?" He pouted around my finger now. How can that sight still look so cute and nevermind.

"Aniya..." I replied offhandedly as I turned my head to the side haughtily. I was expecting a quip from him but when nothing followed but I silence I turned back to see him lower him looking at me with a hurt look in his eyes. I opened my mouth to say that I was glad to see him but then decided against it. We may as well figure out what was going to happen with us right now rather than drawing it out.

"I guess...that's to be expected..." Jonghyun said in a hurt voice. I sighed and continued looking at him.

"When did you get in?" I asked not knowing what else to say or rather unable to say all the things I wanted to.

"Midnight...You were fast asleep..." He smiled slightly. "I wanted to surprise you so I didn't call..."

"Surprised I was..." I murmured quietly.

"Of course I wasn't expecting that when you wake up to realize you weren't alone in this bed you'd check to see if you still had clothes on or if your body felt different..." Jonghyun said teasingly and I felt myself blush. He had been awake since then?! "Was there something that was going on after I left? Who's the bastard I need to kill?"

I glared at him as he grinned at me. "So everyone is back?" I asked avoiding his gaze but he got where I was going.

"I guess..." He said looking up at the wall clock. When I frowned questioningly at him, he went into details. "We came back separately. We didn't want anyone to really know. Especially about Key... I wanted to come back first to see you..."

"How's Key?" I asked but he once again understood what I really wanted to ask.

"Key is okay. He's doing really well actually. The doctors said he'll be able to go about his business as per normal within a month." Jonghyun said stretching his body. "And I wanted to see you because I have made my decision. We all have." Jonghyun took a deep breath and I felt my heart stop. This was it. "If you would still have me...after all the I have put you through...I would like to stay by your side for a very long time...Because I love you and I belong only to you."

There was a silence as I took that in and Jonghyun shifted uncomfortably on the bed and eventually he sat up as my silence continued. I turned over what he said in my head, trying to see how he had reached this conclusion and what I should do now. I chewed on my lips and looked up into his nervous eyes and sighed.

JONGHYUN POV

She sighed. What did that mean? Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Wait...a sigh was never a good thing. I felt my hands curl into the sheets on the bed as I tried to keep the panic off my face as she turned an unreadable face towards me. I bit my lips as she opened and prayed that she wasn't about to refuse me. I wasn't sure I'd be able to handle that.

"How are you so sure that what you feel towards me is really love and not guilt?" She asked sighing sadly and I felt that sense of deja vu wash over me. That had been exactly what Key had said to me. However, unlike then, this time I had my answer ready.

"Because someone else asked me that same question and I did some soul searching and I spent a long time talking with the others and just going over a lot of things." I replied with a smile as she stared at me frowning. "The reason I thought I was so into Key was not because I love him too much. Sure I love him but not like that. What I was feeling towards him was guilt because I had failed to keep my promise to him that I would always protect him but when those sasaeng attacked him..." I paused and took a deep breath as I looked up into her eyes and saw the hopeful look their. "Plus his confession...I felt so guilty after what had happened and somewhere along the line I confused it with love and had myself convinced that I was in love with him. But all this time..." I reached out and took her hands into mine. She didn't pull them away. That was a good sign and so I continued with more confidence. "All this time, the one I really loved was you. I fell for you at the first slap."

I grinned crookedly at her as she half-laughed at she blinked at me.

"Served you right. It's what you get for kissing strangers and then being so arrogant about it." She mumbled and I felt myself blush as I confessed.

"I kissed you that day because I really wanted to." I replied biting my lips and I saw her eyes widened. "I knew who you were and I have always admired you...plus you looked so cute with your tear stained face and all that I just couldn't resist. I really wanted to taste those beautiful red lips." My gaze dropped down to her lips that she had between her teeth at the moment. "I still do..."

YOUR POV

"You...Knew.....and yet.....you pretended not to at first...." I replied astound by his confession. He nodded smiling shyly. "Jonghyun....you...Oh God...Talk about taking the opportunity as soon as you see it."

He laughed and scratched his head and I felt myself smiling at him. "Yeah well..." Jonghyun said slightly embarrassed.

"Next time just come up to me and introduce yourself or something..." I said rolling my eyes at him. "I don't bite you know..." He quirked an eyebrow at me. "Okay, not much..." The eyebrow shot higher and I blushed. "Alright! But not all the time you know."

He grinned and I punched him lightly in his stomach. He caught my hands and entwined our fingers.

"Soooo...." He said looking expectantly at me.

"Sooooo...." I responded wanting to . "How does Key oppa feel about all of this?"

"He said that he might have misunderstood his feelings because I was the person who was always there for him..." Jonghyun replied and I frowned at him. "At first I didn't believe him..."

JONGHYUN POV

"So I had a talk with the guys last night..." I said as I took a seat next to his bed where he was eating an apple.

"I know..." Key replied as he continued to keep his attention on his apple.

"Minho told me about your decision..." I said as he refused to say anything else.

"I know..." Key replied again as he bit into the apple once more, keeping his attention away from me.

"Are you sure about this? I mean after all that happened..." I said and he sighed and finally turned to face me.

"I thought for a long time about what you said...and about a whole lot of other things..." Key said setting the apple aside. "I also thought long on what I had asked you. I asked myself that question as well hyung. Did I really love you?"

"You....did....?" I replied slightly shocked.

"Yeah...the more I thought about it the less sense it made." Key said and I frowned in confusion. "So I called Minho...again."

"Again?" I asked arching an eyebrow at him and he nodded flushing slightly.

"Yeah... He made me understand a lot of things hyung." Key replied as my confusion deepened. "I heard you spoke with Jinki hyung so I'm sure you can understand where I'm coming from."

"I guess..." I replied as I started to see where Key was going with this.

"He made me understand that while I do love you hyung, I'm not in love with you." Key said looking at me earnestly. "Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm saying I'm not gay for you... I thought I loved you like that because you were always there you know. Like a boyfriend would be to a girlfriend or like a caring hyung to his dongsaeng and I got myself mixed up. But now I have it all figured out hyung."

"I see..." I replied shocked because Key looked pretty damn sincere.

"I'm sure you've figured out the same thing." Key said and I lowered my head because what he was saying was true. "You love me but you're in love with her."

"I...." I said hesitating. But Key only smiled at me and so I admitted it. I admitted the truth. The conclusion I had come to after my long searching. "Yes, I'm in love with her but I just love you like a brother."

"See~ So we're cool." Key sang smiling as he picked up the apple again as the other members piled into the room along with Lee Seongsaengnim to deliver the happy news of Key's discharge.

YOUR POV

"Wow..." I said letting what he just told me sink in. " Wow..."

"Yeah..so...You know...If you still want me..." Jonghyun said squeezing my hands nervously and I beamed at him.

"Of course I still want you!" I exclaimed and he pulled me in for a big hug.

"Thank you...I don't know what I would have done if you had decided you didn't..." Jonghyun muttered in my ears, holding me tightly to his chest.

"Well if you had gone down on your knees and beg...." I said teasingly. "I might have reconsidered...."

"Woman.." Jonghyun growled in my ears and pulled back to look at me.

"Yes?" I asked grinning at him.

"I love you. I love you very much." Jonghyun declared and I felt my heart soared at the honesty and love flowing from him. "My heart...all of it..belongs only to you."

"I love you too." I replied smiling softly at him and he pulled me in for a soft kiss that was filled with his love for me.

"The days to come might be a bit hectic but bare with me..." Jonghyun said as we snuggled down onto the bed.

"Hmmm?" I asked but he just grinned slyly at me and refused to say anything more. For the time being, I let it slide and just enjoyed the feeling of his arms around me. Boy was I glad that I had the day off.

a/n: annyeong~~ are you guys still reading this? two more chapters to go~

please do comment~~^^ xoxo~

until next time~~ bye bye~~