JONGHYUN POV

I could feel my head pounding like crazy no doubt from all the crying I had done. Somehow it seemed like all I ever did was cry in front of her. She was silent as I lay there in her arms. I knew that she was waiting for me to tell her what it was that had brought this on and I really wanted to tell her about it. I just didn't know how to start. She deserved to know everything. Not just what had happened today but everything else. What would she think of me if she knew the truth? Will she leave me? Will she curse me? Will she be disgusted at me? I didn't want to know and so I settled my head on her chest and murmured, "Don't ever leave me."

I heard her breath catch and then she pressed a kiss to my forehead. That felt good. It was just like when I would cry to him and he would....No I wasn't going to go there. Not yet anyway. Not when I still couldn't accept what I had heard today. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes again and my heart ached deeply. A wound that had been scarred over had been reopened and now here I was bleeding in her arms and unwilling to tell her about it all. She hadn't said a word up to now. I felt her fingers wiping at my tears and I caught her hands and kissed them. I didn't deserve her at all. She was too good for me. There were so many things I wished I could give her but I knew I couldn't. Had things been different I probably would have been able to the man she needed and deserved. A man who could look at her and not see another's face overlapping hers. A man who could love her with his whole heart and not just half of it. A man who could appreciate her actions without having them remind him of another's. A man who could savor her touch and not have it think of another's touch. A man who could marry her and give her all the things in life she deserved. I was not that man. I could not be that man. If I told her the truth now would she walk out that door and never come back? She hadn't say she wouldn't ever leave him. In fact he was surprised she had stuck around for so long after the many breakdowns and secrecy concerning that part of his life. It just goes to show the kind of person she was and that made me feel utterly wretched. I knew if given the choice I would choose him over her and that made me felt even more worse. No, I wouldn't get that choice because very soon he would be no more. I felt the hot tears rolling down my cheeks, my breath hitching in my chest and my heart clenching painfully.

"Jonghyun..." she said quietly as I cried for the love that I was about to lose if I tell her the truth. I cried for the other love that I will lose soon. I cried because I knew she needed to know the truth. If she decided to leave, I wouldn't stop her. "Jonghyun.."

"He's leaving me..." I whispered in between sobs and I felt her stiffen in my arms.

"So it is about him. I was right." I heard her mutter to herself quietly. I felt a shame like no other wash over me at that. "Wait what do you mean he is leaving you? You don't mean..."

My eyes began watering again and she pulled me in tightly to her and hugged me. I felt like a bastard. She was always comforting me and yet here I was, a bastard who couldn't even give her my whole heart. Still I felt hesitant to tell her the truth. I didn't want her to leave me. Despite everything else she really did make me happy and I did lover her a lot. I was so confused. The pain in my chest wouldn't go away. It had been there ever since that faithful day and no one had ever been able to make it go away but she had dulled it. Now it would not be soothed by anyone. Now it was hurting like nothing has ever hurt before. I was crying my heart out in her arms as she held me tightly. I didn't know how much more I had in me. I remembered the shock I had felt when the words had left Lee Soo-Man hyung-nim's mouth. The sharp pain that had attacked my chest had almost caused me to keel over. I refused to believe what I had heard. 

"Jonghyun...oh Jonghyun..I'm so sorry.." She said clutching me tightly and I felt her tears running down. She was crying for me. For my pain. Despite the fact that I had always kept this part of my life a secret from her she had always understood a bit the pain I held within. It was really time for me to lay it all out on the table. I pulled back and wiped my tears with my hands and stared at her.

"There is a story you should know." I began and I saw a flicker in her eyes. My throat refused to let any other words out and so I sat there with my head down trying to get the words out.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she said quietly looking down at her hands.

I found my voice then realising how unfair all of this had been to her. I sighed deeply and took her hands, "I think I'm finally ready to talk it. About him."

She looked up at me but said not a word. She was giving me the time I needed to get my story out. I swallowed and began speaking, all the while looking at her hands, too ashamed to look her in her face.

"Once upon a time, there lived two boys happily in SM Town. Kim Kibum and Kim Jonghyun. Kibum was the more feisty one out of the two but despite that the boys became really close. From trainee days to their rise to fame as a five member boy group SHINee. Key, as he became known as, was always there for Jonghyun whenever he needed him and Jonghyun had always been there for Key. Their relationship had developed way past the point of mere friendship but neither said anything about it and continued with their skinship and friendship. The other members teased them alot, always telling them that they were like a couple. It was a happy time. They were happy together all of them as a family. That was what they were. A family." I swallowed nervously. "Jonghyun ignored the strange feelings he got every time Key was around. Brushing them off as nothing at all. What Jonghyun didn't know was that Key was also fighting these same feelings as well. Things continued as normal as ever for a very long time with neither saying a word of their affection. SHINee rose to greater heights and gained even more fans. The fans loved them alot and they loved their fans equally as much. But fans' love were not always harmless. There had always been the stalking, the letter, those fans that went the extra mile to invade their privacy. Those fans scared SHINee even though they tried to never show that. One day, while driving on the highway the driver of the van suddenly exclaim that the break weren't functioning. Everyone went into panic mode. That day Key had beat the maknae to the front seat and his eyes turned to stare wildly at Jonghyun's in utter panic. He tried to get out and tried to climb over to the back of the van but it was a difficult task and we were on a highway with traffic. Jonghyun had looked up and saw a container truck coming at full speed right at us as the driver tried to swerve out of the way as he shot through the traffic light with no breaks. The truck sounded it's horn and the driver of SHINee van stepped on his accelerator to get out of the way of the container truck. Jonghyun could only stare into Key's panicked eyes frozen in his seat. The van had narrowly missed the container truck but there was another truck coming straight at us. Key began scrambling in his seat and Jonghyun unfroze and grabbed his hands and tugged him over with rapidly beating heart over into the back of the van. With the help of the other members Key made it safely. But there was a greater trouble now for the van had no way of decelerating with no brakes and a turn was coming up ahead. Tried as he could the driver could not get the van to turn properly with the incoming traffic and so the van toppled over the edge and into the forest below. Key held tightly onto Jonghyun and said,'Hyung I love you' and then pressed his lips to Jonghyun's just as van hit the ground sharply and the glasses shattered. Jonghyun didn't get the chance to tell Key that he loved him as well. When the van finally stopped at a tree toppled over, none were conscious in the van." 

I heard a quiet sob and looked up to find tears running down her cheek like rain. I had never told this story to anyone ever before not even when the reporters had hounded me with questions. She inclined her head for me to continue.

"When Jonghyun opened his eyes he had found a girl staring at him. When he had tried to speak to her she had left in a haste. He had been drowsy and lost consciousness again. When Jonghyun next opened his eyes he wasn't sure what day it was. This time the girl hadn't left but she had spoken to him. She told him that he'd been unconscious for a two weeks and that she and her sisters had taken care of them. Her brother, she had said had found the overturned van and pulled them out just before it had exploded. Jonghyun had been informed that the other members hadn't regained consciousness yet. He had asked if she had called for medical assistance to which she had replied that as they lived so deep in the woods they had no telephone. Her mother had been a doctor and so she'd left a lot of medical stuff in their home and thought the sisters the how tos. She had seemed nice and friendly but why hadn't she let him see the others? And where was this brother of hers? He'd asked her if she knew who he was as she had sat as watch him drink the soup. She had replied that she didn't and that she didn't have much exposure to the outside world. It had all turned out to be a lie of course as Jonghyun had discovered one day as he had gingerly moved his body out of his room. His injury hadn't been too serious and she had indeed fixed him up professionally. He caught sight of Taemin looking around cautiously and felt a sudden worry as he remembered her saying that he was the only one conscious. She had lied to him. But why?" I swallowed as I continued to squeeze the story out.

"He made sure that no one was around and had whispered for Taemin. The maknae had been surprised to see him and he found out that he too had been told the same story by another sister. They'd moved around trying to find the other three members and had come across a room with their posters covering it. She had said she didn't know them! Jonghyun spot a telephone in the room also and Taemin whispered, 'Hyung they 'sasaeng' fans?' With fear in their heart they had moved about quickly and found the others.Jonghyun didn't know where Taemin had learnt to pick locks but it had certainly been a useful skill. Key had wrapped Jonghyun in a big hug and he had clutched him just breathing him in. They didn't have time to speak with each other as they needed to escape before the sisters came looking for them. They had made it half-way out when they saw the brother. They started running and then stopped when they heard him shout, 'WAIT! Let me help you. I'm not like my sisters!' He had sounded sincere and so they had stopped and he'd given us directions and a cellphone to call for help. If he left them they'd probably so bad things to him when they eventually found him and so SHINee promised the brother to come back with help for him. They'd called their manager, amazed that they'd gotten cell service. It turned out they'd been missing for a month. The sound of voices had been heard coming from the house and they'd taken off running at top speed. Their escape had been discovered. The sisters were chasing SHINee now like hounds and SHINee members were injured and weak. They were faster than the members. SHINee had almost made it to the highway when Jonghyun feet got stuck and Taemin collapsed unable to run anymore. Key bent down to try and get Jonghyun foot unstuck. Minho and Onew hyung had gone to look to the maknae." My voice had gone bitter now even to my own ears. I pushed on. "They caught up to SHINee and Key moved to stand in front of Jonghyun. Jonghyun tried to get up but he was still stuck.

'Where so you think you're going oppas?' the girls asked in half craze voices.

'You're ours oppa'

'You'll never escape us oppa.'

'You'll never leave again oppa.'

Jonghyun saw it coming before Key did and tried to pull him out of the way as the girl closest to Key sung the thick branch in her hand at Key. Key lost his footing but the branch still connect with the side of his head and he went down limp.

'KEYYY!!' Jonghyun screamed as he saw Key's blood. Taemin screamed as the other girls closed in around them. Suddenly as if heaven sent the sound of sirens could be heard and the girls looked uncertainly at each other. The sound of voices could now be heard as SHINee members began screaming to give the officers their direction. 

'SHUT UP!' one girl shrieked. She seemed to be the eldest. She swung her branch at Minho who tried to dodge it while protecting Taemin. He stumbled slightly and another girl stepped in and hit him at the side of his head. He too went down. Taemin screamed again and then Jonghyun saw nothing else as a pain explode in his head. He, too, had been clobbered. He faintly heard Taemin screaming again and the he too was silent. The last thing Jonghyun remembered was his body being dragged on the ground."

I looked up to find her staring at me in shock and horror. I my lips before continuing. "The members had been too much for the girls to drag and eventually the police had caught up to them. Months later Jonghyun had woken up in the hospital. The news had greeted him then. Everyone had regained consciousness except for Key. Jonghyun felt as if his heart had broken into million pieces. When he'd been allowed to leave his room he'd spent most of his time by Key's bed side telling him how much he loved him and begging him to comeback. But Key had remained in coma and the others made the decision to disband SHINee. The experience with sasaeng fan had been traumatizing enough. They had learned that someone had messed with the breaks of the car before they had left. The members had decided that they wanted out of the celeb world. They wanted to spend time doing normal things like normal people without having to fear for their life from fans that loved them a little too much."

"Jonghyun..." was all she said as she sat there crying from my story. "Oh Jonghyun..."

We were quiet for a while. The silence was filled with her sobs as I sat there reliving the whole nightmare. I felt her getting up and when she returned she handed me a bottle of water. I took it gratefully and drank it. She always knew what I needed.

"I was not the only one to get that call this morning." I said quietly and she looked up at me sharply. "The others got the call as well. It was nice to see them again." I smiled slightly at the memory of the meeting. I had missed them very much.

"You must miss them alot." She said quietly smiling at me. I nodded. Silence had fallen again. I sighed.

"The reason he called us was to tell us that Kibum's parents..." I trailed off feeling the tears begin to form again. "They're going to take him off of life support."

I was wrapped in her warm embrace again as I poured it all out in her shirt. The pain that had been subsiding in my chest shot up threatening to suffocate me. "They've decided that there was no hope for him and it was too expensive to keep him in America when he would not wake up despite getting looked at by the best doctors." I bawled as the pain stabbed me. "My Kibum. They're going to kill him!" She gripped me tighter. "I can't...I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM!! HE CAN'T DIE!! HE CAN'T LEAVE ME!!"

AUTHOR NOTE: You've waited long for this haven't you? Well here it is..I told you it was gonna be big..

HUHU! KEY...well most of you thought he'd died but well..he's in a coma...

While you're waiting for my next update you can read my latest JongKey fic; LOVE UNLOCK~! just click on the name to go to it. I've linked it.

Well i'll escape now before you guys chew me out!! ANNYEONG!!