7 months ago

Henry POV 

Its been almost a month since we left Korea and Sungmin is only getting worse. On the say we arrived in China, paparazzi and anti-fans were waiting for us at the arrivals gate. Sungmin had gone into shock because of how many people were there, Zhoumi had to carry him out of the airport. The scandal was much more exaggerated in China and resulted in Sungmin never leaving the apartment and to stop eating. 

Zhoumi and I had found Sungmin passed out one day when we had come home from a busy schedule. A doctor we knew checked him out, he had fainted from malnutrition and now he has to be fed through a needle in his arm because he simply refuses to eat. His colour had come back but he retreated deeper into himself, it was only when I was changing him that I saw the cuts on his thighs and the damage that this scandal has done to him mentally. 

I'm considering taking him to a hospital but I know that the press will have a field day with that and I definately know that Zhoumi would refuse point blank if I suggested such a thing. We are currently recording for a popular chinese talk show, we have left Sungmin under the watchful eye of four bodyguards and one of our managers, Mr Shin. 

We finish late and we come home and realise something isn't right. The bodyguards and Mr Shin are in the lounge room playing poker and Sungmin isn't in his room, we both have an uneasy feeling. 

" Where is Sungmin?" We both ask. Mr Shin looks up at us 

" He is in the bathroom." He says, pointing to the door behind them.

" Been in there for while actually." One of the bodyguards looks at his watch and just shrugs. 

Zhoumi and I both go pale and run to the bathroom door and try to open it. Its locked.

" Sungmin!!! Open the door!!!" I say frantically trying to pry open door but it doesn't budge. I turn to the bodyguards.

" Break this door open!!!" I shout at them, I look at Zhoumi and he looks at me. 

Sungmin POV 

One look at myself in the bathroom mirror had me throwing up in the toilet. The misery and guilt of what is happening to me weighs heavily upon me. I know what I'm doing to myself is wrong but I just can't deal with this anymore. Coming to China had been a bad idea on everyone's part. Instead of healing, I'm forever thinking of ways to end my life. 

I know Henry knows what I'm doing to myself but he hasn't told anyone, not even Zhoumi and that makes me more uneasy. My mind is made up, it would be better for everyone if I wasn't around anymore. Leeteuk, Siwon, everyone. Then I wouldn't be a disappointment anymore. I take out a razor blade from my pants pocket, this piece of metal had been my only salvation. 

I position it over my wrist, the cold steel slides across my skin smoothly and blood starts to run freely. My hands drop to my sides, I feel the blood drip from my fingertips forming little red puddles on the white tiles. I lean against the wall for support, I'm starting to feel cold. The puddles are getting bigger and my eyes feel heavy. They close and before everything goes black I hear voices outside the door. 

" Break this door open!!!" 

I sigh and the noise fades away......

In Korea.........

Leeteuk POV 

It's been almost a month and not a word from Zhoumi or Henry. I have a nervous feeling in my gut that isn't going away. Since Sungmin left it has been less tense in the dorm, every second day Yesung or Kangin would come up to me in secret and ask me how Sungmin is doing. I would reply yes but in truth I have no idea how he is doing.

The promised texts and phone calls stopped coming after two days. I hope nothing had happened and that they have just forgotten to contact me. I mean, they are idols in China too and they have schedules too. My phone buzzes in my pocket, I take it out and I'm surprised at who is calling me.

" Aern't you under orders not to contact us Jess?" I ask.

" Are you near a tv right now?" She asks right back, she sounded wierd. Maybe its just the phone.

" Umm..yeah, what's this about?" I'm suddenly curious.

" Just turn on the tv and go to the news channel." She says and hangs up.

I quickly head to the lounge room where several members are watching a movie, I snatch the remote off Shindong and turn it off. I ignore the shouts of protest and find the channel I'm looking for. I'm shocked at what I'm seeing. The protests have stopped and everyone is watching the tv. 

" Super Junior member Sungmin is released from hospital after trying to commit suicide. Sungmin was found late Friday evening and was brought to hospital for treatment. It was reported that Super Junior M members Zhoumi and Henry discovered Sungmin and thus called for help. The appearance of the singer has bought to mind many questions to the public. Many are at odds as to whether this is just a one time occurence or we can expect another incident in the future. Sources say that the singers mental health is also in question." 

I am frozen with shock, tears are running down my face. The remote gets taken out of my hands and I'm led to a chair to sit down. 

No one POV 

Leeteuk's phone rings but he doesn't pick it up. Donghae answers the phone only to have Siwon yelling in his ear. 

" Calm down, Siwon. It's not Teukie's fault. We all agreed to it." He says trying to calm him down.

While Donghae is talking to Siwon, Eunhyuk and Kyuhyun are trying to comfort Leeteuk. 

" Sending him away was the worst thing I could have done." Leeteuk says putting his head in his hands.

" It's probably more stressful for him over there. I'm sure he wouldn't do it again." Eunhyuk pats Leeteuk's thigh. Kyuhyun is shaking his head, his words were meant to be reassuring but Leeteuk only felt worse. Nobody noticed the front door opening until voices could be heard as well as the rustle of shopping bags. The owners of the voices appeared.

Heechul, Hangeng and Kibum had come back from their outiing. Yesung and Kangin had also come out of thier room and now everyone was present in the lounge room. They all have puzzled expressions at the scene before them.

" What's going on? Who is Donghae shouting at?" Kangin asks. Eunhyuk and Kyuhyun look at Shindong and Ryeowook. 

" Donghae is shoutiing at Siwon." Ryeowook says. 

" Why?" 

Nobody wants to say why but that changes when Shindong notices the all too familar smirk of Heechul and strides over to him just as he opens his mouth to speak and places a hand over Heechul's mouth. 

" I know what you were going to say so before you piss us off know this...." Shindong takes his hand of Heechul's mouth and sighs. 

" Sungmin tried to commit suicide." 

Sunny POV 

When Yuri and I got back from my ultrasound, the atmosphere in the dorm was strange. I felt goosebumps everywhere and for some reason I felt nervous. Yuri and I found the members in the kitchen. All the girls are seated around the table. I put down my bag. 

" What's going on? Why does everyone look so down?" I ask noticing that all of them have red eyes. Jessica's eyes are redder than everyone else's. I get the feeling I'm about to hear fairy boy's name come up. And I was having a good day. I wonder what has happened to make my members like this. 

" Sungmin tried to kill himself." Taeyeon says, she is beside Jessica, who is glaring at me. I feel like I'm about to throw up and head for the bathroom. I shut the door, My heart is pounding, suddenly it's getting difficult to breathe and tears are running down my cheeks. 

Why would he do such a thing? My hand instantly goes to my rounded stomach. I know it's the lie. I didn't mean for him to do something like this. I only wanted him to feel hurt like I was. I have to tell someone what really happened with the leaked video. Sungmin trying to end his life is my fault. I don't want to be responsible for his death. He need to live. He has a child to father. 

I calm down and wash my face. I realise what a I've been. I need to fix this. I open the door and Jessica is standing in front of me. 

" It's your fault. That stupid lie you told." She says, her voice is trembling. Her hands are shaking at her sides. I could tell that she was keeping her anger in check but I wish she wouldn't. Right now I deserve to be hit. 

" I know Jess." I sigh and caress my stomach. " I'm gonna put things right." 

Enjoy the chapter

Sunny finally has a change of heart. :)

Stay tuned for more updates. comments are welcome. :)