Author | Co-Author | Title | Story Link | Genre | Reviewer

DiraTaenyLocksmith | N/A | Married To My Enemy | Link | Romance | Krissy_

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Title: [2/5] 

I'm utterly sorry for giving you such a low marks for this section and my following feedback might be offensive. Like I said, I've to be unfeigned as a reviewer in order to help every requester's story to become meliorate. I seriously have to to strongly articulate that I've no intention of bringing anybody down. Let's analyze your problem on the wrong choice of title, shall we? You see, just plainly this four words, "Married To My Enemy", you already had revealed majority of the plot. Some readers might still be hooked in because they love this type of storyline but what about others? They already know most of the plot and will be like, 'Meh, it's too common.' So, try to mess around with words, find something relating to the story yet not revealing the plot, confusing isn't it? In that case, I shall give you some story title ideas but whether you want to have it or not, it's really your choice. Use examples like, "Tales Of The Two", "The Broken Game", "Last Wife". If you would like the meaning to these titles that I suggested, inform me.

Story Layout: [9/10]

Oftenly, I don't present low marks to writers in this section because at least you guys tried to make the story look beguile enough. For this section, I've to felicitate you for putting the effort to find someone to do the poster. I personally really love the poster very much, the turquoise-blue theme matches with anything. Characters were all neatly arranged and edited out. Well done but perhaps you should make a better background because I find the color combination wrong however it's my opinion again.

Foreword & Description: [7/10]

This section is where mistakes come in, not exactly a lot but you'll get it after my explanation. Let's start with the foreword first. It's satisfactory but if you mess around the words again, you'll leave readers wanting more of the story. Below example is not a correction but more like a suggestion, take a look.

Before Suggestion: "I never thought of marrying at such a young age and espeacially [Look out for your spelling] with my enemy. We just know that our marriage had been decided when we were children. I just wonder how am I going to live with him."

After Suggestion: "Evan Wolfson once said that marriage is a language of love, equality and inclusion. But what if it happens to turn out a total antithetical? A sudden proposal of marriage was already enough but the realization of my partner was even more absurd. However, promises ain't meant to be broken, now, I'm wondering how am I suppose to live under one roof with him."

Realize how I didn't use the word, 'enemy'? This is what I meant by messing around, it'll leave keen readers anticipating on who's the partner. Moving on to the description, I'm not stopping you to do so but heed my advice. Don't let out all the characters personalities there, why not let readers use their imagination and give them space to think? Or why don't you try to describe them in the story? Am I right? 

Plot: [15/20]

The story twists are all predictable, add in more spicies and it'll be better.You can try a unhappy ending, this way, it's what makes your story special.

Originality: [2/5]

Sadly, this type of stories are too common but I still believe that this story will work out well.

Flow: [10/10]

Everything is going well, rest assure.

Grammar & Spelling: [15/25]

​Be mindful of your spelling, spacing. Grammar are acceptable just a few mistakes. I'll try my best to list out all.

Before Correction: "I opend my locker roughly without looking and heard a loud bang."

After Correction: ​"I opened my locker roughly without looking and heard a loud bang."

Before Correction: "I knockedon the door and bowed to the teacher and introduced myself as the new student."

After Correction: ​"I knocked on the door while bowing to the teacher and introduced myself as the new student."

See how the spacing makes a difference, I know it was not on purpose but please give it a thorough check. Try not to add so many 'and'.

Before Correction: "He leaned a little and purposely blow hot air to my ear."

After Correction: "He leaned a little and purposely blew hot air to my ear."

It's a little tiring for me to type out your mistakes because you never allowed text selection, which I totally understand why. I hope you'll re-read your story and spot out your grammar and spelling error. Most importantly, your spacing and punctuation. If you do need help, approach me, I'm willing to help.

Overall Enjoyment: [3/5]

​I'll continue to support you, please don't give up. I see potential in you that have yet been unleashed.

Bonus points: [2/5]

Hi, DiraTaenyLocksmith Thank you so much for requesting at Crisx-Trix Review Shop, it's entertaining working with you. I sincerely hope that my review was not harsh neither has my words hurt any of you, if I do, I apologize for my mistakes. I do not want this review to affect our friendship. But this is my job as a reviewer, I've to be honest to help everyone improve including myself. Thanks again for giving me this chance to prove myself. If there're any content that I misread thus leading to a wrong review, please share and correct me, I'm more than wiling to hear it and do some reflection on myself. Thank you again! I wish that we'll be able to work together again! If you enjoyed my review, please share this shop with your friends and an upvote is appreciated. Most importantly, please return some feedbacks at the comment box down below. Bye! ^.~