⚔ Review For When She Was A Boy ⚔
Crisx-Trix Review Shop | Not Accepting | Batch 3 On HoldAuthor | Co-Author | Title | Story Link | Genre | Reviewer
WooMii | N/A | When She Was A Boy | Link | Romance | Blackpearl96
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Title: [4/5]
It's definatly an eye catching title. It draws readers in and naturally makes us curious as to what the story could possibly be about. Usually, we focus on the first couple of sentences or the description to draw in readers, however, the title is the first thing we see.an eye cathcing title that strikes curiosity is a very good thing. because people are curious creatures, they are more likely to look at something that makes them curious. However, and this maybe because there is currently only five chapters, but i dont see how it relates to the story. It makes it sound like she comes back as a guy and not a more feminine girl.
Story Layout: [10/10]
The Shoe shows the feminciity of the focus chareter, sincce once shes discovered shes this girly and bubbly person in contrast to her pass boyish self. However, a poster or somethong of the sort would be nice, just because everything is very...well, white.
Foreword & Description: [9/10]
The description is good, it makes you want to read on. it nicely introduces the charecters as well, however, (this may be just me) since you gave a visual of the leads a personal description of them would be lovely.
Plot: [20/20]
Its quite the unique story line. Reading the description makes readers intrigued, but then as they read it seems to amplify making it more intresting. its not your typical story, without being angst it still has a darker take, or so i think.
Characterization: [7/10]
More description of whats happening would be nice, so that as the reader reads, they dont struggle to create a mental image. even though everyones vision of the scene will be different, you still want it to be somewhat close to what you pictured as the author, so that they get a good effect of whats happeneing.
Originality: [5/5]
As i said already, its quite unique. *thumbs up*
Flow: [10/10]
Even though theres only five chapter at this pont they were quite long. the pace of the story is good and i dont feel as if anything is missing. it good when you dont stall for to long or jump and everything happens in chapter one. amber didnt come back until the fifth chapter (well for real) and we are yet to know what exactly happened. retaining some information and scattering it throughout the story is good. it makes readers want tot continue reading to find out what happens/ed.
Grammar & Spelling: [20/25]
For the most part you did well with your grammer. the only thing worth mentioning is your tenses.
Before Correction: "I didn't... sniffed your neck too, right?"
After Correction: "I didn't... sniff your neck too, right?"
This happened a few more times, which is why im bringing it to your attention. Make sure that when some thing happened previously you end make it past tense and when it is occuring in the now you make it present tense
Overall Enjoyment: [4/5]
For me, it was enjoyable. your grammer was generally pretty good so i dint feel the need to stop and edit, like i know i tend to do mentally sometimes. i just wish that within your long chapters there was more happening, it may be because youve just begun but for me it was a little slow. (but only a little)
Bonus points: [2/5]
Hi, WooMii! Thank you so much for requesting at Crisx-Trix Review Shop, it's entertaining working with you. I've something to explain, this review wasn't done by me, it was done by my co-author, BlackPearl96. And I believed she had done a very wonderful job. I only edited the paragraphing format of the review and all the credits go to her. I had to pass her this review because I could not cope, sorry for any inconvenience caused. I wish that we'll be able to work together in the future! If you enjoyed this review, please share this shop with your friends and an upvote is appreciated. Most importantly, please return some feedbacks at the comment box down below. Bye! ^.~
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