Kyuhyun’s POV

I walked along the white corridors of SM’s immaculately designed building, ignoring the titters and giggles from the female staff and the glares that the male staff shot at me.

It has been a month since I saw Min Young, but I still remember how she looked so vividly. The scared, pained look in her eyes was gone, replaced with a sense of happiness and she looked so healthy and bright. Unlike the woman I had changed her into, unlike the woman whose spirit I had trampled and hurt. I hate myself for not knowing how lucky I was, I hate myself for not appreciating the wonderful woman I had in my life, I hate myself for pushing her away, hurting her until she left me.

“I don’t need you, I don’t love you, I don’t want you in my life Cho Kyuhyun!”

What she said to me destroyed all my hope and all my dreams of having her with me in my arms.

But it’s my fault right?

It’s my fault for hurting her...

Flashback

“How was your day Kyu?” my young wife greeted me with a kiss on my cheek. But I turned away before her soft lips could come in contact with me. I didn’t love Min Young, I loved Seohyun. My fans wanted me to love Seohyun, and I do love her, don’t I? I stole a glance at my wife and saw hurt register in her eyes. I felt guilt churn inside of me and I turned away before I started to feel sorry for her.

“It was the usual.” I spoke coldly. What else could happen? I was an idol, I was naturally busy. I remembered Seohyun’s words, I didn’t have time for Min Young. She lost our baby anyway. She wasn’t worthy of me. But something inside of me told me that she was wrong, that it wasn’t Min Young’s fault for losing our baby, that she was beyond worthy of me, that Min Young was the one.

But I still stubbornly persisted in listening to Seohyun.

“I’ve prepared dinner for-“ Min Young began slowly in a hurt voice, but I cut her off.

“I’ve eaten already. I don’t need your cooking.” I interrupted her in a hard tone. I could see tears starting to well up in her eyes. The guilt started to overtake me and I felt like taking her in my arms, telling her I was sorry and that I loved her. But I didn’t, I stood still and forced myself to abide by Seohyun’s words.

“I’ll just pack it all away then.” she said softly and turned to go.

“No, throw it all away. I won’t be eating it anyway.” I called after her. She didn’t turn back.

End of Flashback

Now, I question myself.

Why did I listen to Seohyun?

Min Young’s POV

I sat before one of the pianos in a recording studio of SM Entertainment. The room was spacious, with large windows overlooking the busy streets and shops, in the middle of the room was a recording system, a small orchestra with it’s equipment stood in a corner of the room, in another coner was a huge flat screen TV and at the back of the room was a large cupboard full of blank music sheets and notepaper for writing lyrics.

It has been a month. A month since I arrived in Korea, a month since I started my new life here, a month since Kyuhyun confessed to me. Did he really mean it? Was he just toying with me? Or was he being sincere? After almost 20 years of knowing Kyuhyun, I felt as if we were strangers. Did he think I was still that girl who would forgive him after every single thing he’d do to hurt her? Did he still think I’d forgive him and forget everything just to be in his arms again? I’ve changed, but inside, I know I still am that girl who I was five years ago.

And I hate myself for it.

I’ve willed myself to move on, and five years had given me more than enough time to learn to live without Kyuhyun. I wanted to be that woman I once was, before Kyuhyun ruined me, and I hate him for that.

During those five years, I’ve learned to stand up for myself, and to be more assertive.

People may think I was shallow and stupidly naive for letting my husband carry on an affair behind my back, and I agree with them. I was shallow and stupid, love led me in different directions, messing me up.

During those five years, I’ve learned to love myself first before loving anyone else.

I was once gullible and a fool, letting love blind me from the reality of everything. I was not a princess living with her perfect pince. My prince was with another princess. I was blinded by love to see that I was in a one sided relationship.

During those five years, I’ve learned to be cautious and think before I believe something.

I was once a beautiful woman, full of love and hope, but he ruined that.

Cho Kyuhyun ruined that.

So, I’ve been torn in half. Half of me stays the ruined part that Kyuhyun can only mend and the other half is which I’ve kept for myself, to protect and change.

Without realising it, I had a new song in mind.

I have a habit which is I cannot look up to see the evening sky any day.
I hate the feeling as if the whole world is gonna leave me.

That sun falling faraway will come here tomorrow.
It seems that it is not the sunshine that brightened me.

Love comes again though you leave me.
Even if I had a clamorous parting.
You weigh on my mind over and over like this.

I laugh for loving something occasionally.
I feel the happiness more occasionally.
But you are deep in me.

Whenever I give someone my heart I have a habit of saving the half.
I hate the foreboding that if I give all of it he would just leave me.

I cannot give this half to anyone
But I don’t want me broken half way to show up

Love comes again to me though you leave me.
Even if I had a clamorous parting.
You weigh on my mind over and over like this.

I laugh for loving something occasionally.
I feel the happiness more occasionally.
But you are deep in me.

Whereabouts is your mind?
I wonder if it has hovered around me.
Just like me, once in a while.
I realized that time could not wipe everything out.
I ain’t still able to call your name comfortably.

Somebody not you hugs me.
And somebody not me hugs you.
Although days flow eternally like this.

The words that I didn’t say yet to you remain in my mouth.
The love that I didn’t give the whole remain in my mind.
Maybe you are still in me…

Ailee- Evening Sky

I smiled as I finished writing the song and it’s lyrics, walking over to the recording system, I checked the sound system before singing the song. The day was quickly turning into dusk as I stayed in that recording studio, pouring my heart out, singing what I couldn’t say, perfecting the tune and the lyrics. Not noticing that someone had entered the room. After singing the last perfected note, I heard a cough behind and spinning round, I froze in embarssment.

Seohyun had heard every little thing I had sang.

I've deleted the previouis chapter because I had this idea in mind, and it seemed better.

Sorry if you had like the previous one... :(

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