(Silent Night)

Due to the fact that your fic hasn't exactly "evolved" quite yet, it's hard to ascertain whether the title suits your fic or not. However, from what I have read so far, the title seems to fit right in, with Myungsoo only able to come out at night and all. It reveals a bit of what the fic will be about, but doesn't hint too much.

Foreword/Description: 6/10

Honestly, I wasn't too interested with your foreword and description. The first sentence of your foreword was fine, but I felt as if the fic was going to be another cliche fic where a cold-hearted guy changes because of an unrealistic Mary Sue. The second sentence is what irked me most. It felt unnecessary, but if you insist on keeping it, it's up to you. Good use of semi-colon though, not many people use the semi-colon properly so props to you for that. 

Appearance: 5/5

I have no problem with the appearance of your fic. Just please, never color text, unless it is for purposeful reasons. Not that you have done it or anything, it's just that there is nothing that peeves me more than colored text. 

Plot: 10/20

As far as your fic has progressed, it's difficult to determine what the actual plot is. From what I have read, it seems as if the plot is Myungsoo not being able to go out in the sunlight. I am starting to suspect Myungsoo is a vampire, and if he is I warn you, vampire fics are becoming very common so attention drawn to your fic may lessen. The score for your plot remains at 10 only because the plot of your fic has not quite developed yet.

Mechanics: 17/20

As far as spelling and grammar go, I didn't find many spelling or grammatical errors. I applaud your use of vocabulary, I didn't find a repetitive use of words. Although, I did find a repetitive use of pronouns. I suggest replacing pronouns with the character's names, or for variety, use adjectives and gender to describe the person indirectly, but in a way that allows the reader know who is doing what. 

Characterization: 13/20

What peeved me most with your fic was your characterization. The characters' personalities are quite ambiguous, almost 4D even. The transition from Jiyeon happy to see Baekhyun in the morning to Jiyeon running out of the house because she was irritated with Baekyun to Jiyeon thinking about how much she was in love with Baekhyun was way to fast. Either Jiyeon is bipolar or she has a personality disorder. Besides Jiyeon's character, Myungsoo's character confuses me. I would think a guy so deep and miserable to scream at the moon would be cold and introverted, but instead, Myungsoo was more than happy to introduce himself to Jiyeon and offer his cutesy nickname 'Myung' to her. Myungsoo also laughed when Jiyeon asked if he was a ghost. From a character in his situation, I would expect a "I wish I was." or something along the terms of 'I hate my life.' If the characters are meant to be 4D, than keep it that way, but if not, I suggest slowing down character personality transitions.

Flow/Style: 13/15

The flow and style of your fic are not bad, but there are certain areas of your fic where I question the transition. For example, after Jiyeon ran out of her house because Baekhyun was irritating her, Baekhyun was able to console her in less than a few minutes and suddenly the two were off to the beach. In hindsight, who gets upset with their boyfriend, makes up with their boyfriend, has a whole paragraph about how much he/she loves their boyfriend cross their mind, then accept a random offer to go to the beach in less than ten minutes? I suggest slowing down the pace of your fic. Your chapters are quite short so slowing down your fic and writing more wouldn't hurt.

Overall Enjoyment: 3/5

I guess I can't really enjoy your fic much because the plot hasn't really evolved, but for the most part I guess it's alright. I'm not a big fan of angst and vampire fics so this fic just isn't my thing.

Total: 71/100