Calling Sweet_Chocolate

Reviewed by: scarletmoon

Title:  First Impression of the title: confusing,puzzled, etc. but when the readers may start reading the story. They may understand it. But It's just too weird for a title..

4/5

Foreword & Description:  The description was really confusing. Uhm, I think english is not your first language. Because Jinri and Jinri are not the same, right but they are look alike. the reader's may misunderstand this, you should at least change there names. I read it about 5 times, and then got the thought.

7/10

Characterization:  You told everyone's characteristic, clearly in the foreword except taemin. I was confused about his bio: "A famous Kpop Idol in korea but he didn't came from a rich family because as a Kpop Idol he got payed double so he is STILL rich" - Still rich? I thought he did not came from a rich family? I did not understand.

7/10

Originality:  I already read and saw a movie like this. so It's not so new to me.

10/15

Plot:  I don't really now how will you end this. But in my thoughts you'll end this that they were long lost sisters? haha :D

12/15

Spelling and Grammar:

You need to check the spelling before updating.

Like your wich-which

and the grammars " When we went out all of the were holding a poster" - " When we went out all of the fans were holding a poster "

20/25

Flow:

Chapter 1: You need to stop usng POV's. It really irritaes me. And before updating the next chapter, please read it again, if you have wrong grammars, and spellings.

Chapter 2: This chapter, is allright. The letter is what making it more appealing. And Please the POV's again?

7/10

TOTAL: 67/100

Owner's note:

Thanks for requesting.

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Aspiring Heaven < reviewer >