Calling --MariaNguyen--

Review by: pikachzu

Title: 5/5

-The title was a bit catchy and it made me want to click your story. ;)

Foreword & Description: 10/10

- When I read the description, it sparked curiousity in me. It was nice. :D

- Oh, and you got the foreword and description interchanged. I believe you put the description of your story in the 'Description' and your message to the readers in the 'Foreword'. :)

Characterization: 8/10

- At first, I was confused with everyone and who was who, but later on I got a hang of it. I really didn't understand why the members and the ocs there kept calling the main girl by her last name; Kim. Isn't that disrespectful?... or idk... 

- And I got a bit confused when other characters just pop out of nowhere. But overall, it was okay. I understood the main girl's role and everything. 

Originality: 12/15

- Okay, so I haven't read anything like this yet, but I feel that this plot is overused. Sorry. :/ 

Plot: 8/15

- Okay, the plot. So her parents die and her boyfriend broke up with her on her birthday. Then she moves to Seoul because nobody wants her in Busan. Then she becomes NUEST's maid. And THEN, she becomes Ren's gf. It did not really excite me. It was kinda predictable, with the bad and her ex showing up outta nowhere. So, eight over fifteen.

Spelling/Grammar: 17/25

- I was kinda pissed on how the chapters were really short. Like, REALLY short. Like Chapter 28(was it chap 28?) You wrote down like 3 sentences.

- Grammar was okay, but there were mistakes here and there, like for example:

'When his angry' is supposed to be 'When he's angry.'

'His still awake' is 'He's still awake.'

His is for possesion.. or something like that, and he's is the short cut for 'he is'.

- Spelling was okay too. I didn't find anything wrong, until I reread what you had written in your description. 

Plagerise >> Plagiarise.

- Both is okay, but what really bothered me is how short your chapters are. >n< 

- Oh, and you should really try using the 'enter' key. e_e I find it hard reading because everything was so stuck together.

Flow: 6/10

- For me, the flow of the story is kinda fast, like, I can't understand this or that, why is he doing that and this. Maybe you should try stretching your words alittle bit more to express what is really going on in that particular scene/part. :)

Enjoyment: 6/10

- Truth to be told, I kinda enjoyed reading this story. Some parts made me crack a smile, but that was it. Like I said before, you should stretch your words alittle bit more to express what is going on and so that the readers could REALLY understand.

- I also didn't like how everything seemed to be huddled altogether. :/

TOTAL: 72/100

From me to you;;

Hey --MariaNguyen--!

I hope I did not offend you in anyway. T T  Well, all those are actually just my opinion. :)) I still believe you can improvise! :D And, REN, huh? /nudge ;DD

- pikachzu. :D

Review date: 02.21.13' - 02.21.13'

THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING!