If you Love me

Taeyeon can hear Justin Bieber singing behind their door. She smelled the mouth watering scent of cooked meat at the turn of the knob and flung the door open.

“PIGGY!!” She shouted. Tiffany was talking with a man at the table, laughing. Taeyeon stopped on her tracks. Who was this person?

“Ah, Taeyeonssi!” Tiffany called. The smaller girl slowly walked towards them, timidly. She greeted her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I want you to meet Taecyeon, the guy I've been telling you about.”

“Choneun Oh Taecyeonimnida.” He politely said, getting off his chair and bowing nearly ninety degrees at the girl. He reached his hand out. “Can I shake your hand?”

“Uhm, ye.” Taeyeon said as she shook hands with him. There was a tight air of awkwardness in between them. “Taeyeonimnida.”

Tiffany led her to a seat beside her. “I’m sure you’re hungry.” She said while placing a sanitizer on the table which the older girl automatically grabbed and rubbed on her hands in fear of the redhead making a big fuss about 'cleanliness'. She prepared a bowl of rice and kissed her best friend's cheeks again before handing her chopsticks.

“Gomawo. Can I have a taste?” Taeyeon asked. The boy at the opposite end of the table nodded at her and they gave each other a gauche smile as she took some of the grilled meat. “Did you have a busy day?”

“Not really, we were just talking.” Tiffany answered as she sandwiched rice, meat and onions on a lettuce leaf. She made sure it had enough sauce on it before closing it. She turned to Taeyeon and fed it to her. She ate it happily. “How’s yours?”

“Ah, all this homework. I’m glad it's almost the weekend.” Taeyeon shook her head. “I didn’t know I had to study Statistics for Communication. All I was thinking was Broadcasting Arts.”

“Isn’t funny that they manage to squeeze math where ever you go?” Taecyeon laughed. Tiffany giggled in agreement. “Just be happy you don’t deal with the math like we do.”

“Oh, believe me. I’m thankful.” Taeyeon smiled. “Have you seen Tiffany working on a puzzle all night? It’s painful to watch her make mistakes.”

“Ya!” Tiffany pitched Taeyeon’s shoulders and they all laughed. Food has always made it easier for the blonde girl to absorb new things.

For example, when Tiffany admitted to dating Siwon, it was over lunch. So when she had the guts to tell her that, she can immediately eat ice cream to accept it.

Now, being friends with someone like Taecyeon and fooling around with Sunny; she really needed Taeyeon to be drunk on meat to digest that. She smiled, as she felt her best friend's feet playfully hover above hers. They played a little footsie while talking.

A few laughs later, she decided it was time for her to test the water. “Will it be OK if he stays overnight?”

Taeyeon spat out her food and looked at both of them. She coughed a few times. Taecyeon offered her a napkin and water, but she stood up and pointed at him instead.

“WAE? WAE? WAE? WAE? WAE? Why is he staying? What is he, a criminal? Does he drink? You guys are gonna drink, aren't you? Is it because you know I'll be the first one to drop? What are you going to do when I sleep, huh? What the heck are...”

“Taeyeon, you’re overreacting! We’re gonna have a movie marathon!” Tiffany held up some DVDs. “Avatar, Despicable Me and G.I. Joe. Oppa brought lots.”

“All of them are American movies!” Taeyeon waved her hands. “What, you don’t want me watching? I can’t understand English! Do you want to be alone? Are you dating? This boy, here? It looks like he doesn’t know how to shave! How old is he? Do his parents know you’re dating? And why is he wearing socks with Crocs? That’s disgusting!”

“Wow, chincha. She really is a DJ. Ahhh, daebak!” Taecyeon blinked and continued in English. “How many words for minute does she average? It should be on Guiness or something.”

Tiffany stared him down before turning to her blonde friend, pushing her shoulders down to a sit. “We still haven’t watched Architecture 101. We can watch that instead, okay?” She then slapped Taeyeon as hard as she could. “And how can you say I’m dating this person?! He looks horrible! Do you think I’ll stoop so low just because I’m single?!”

“YA!” Taeyeon shouted. “That hurt!” The two girls burst out of laugher. Taecyeon scratched his head. He thought Tiffany would at least defend him on the Crocs comment. He shaved three days ago. Is it really that bad now? He ran his fingers on his chin. But it still feels OK.

“Miane, Taecyeonssi.” Taeyeon grinned. “I’m just protective of my Yeppuni.” She bowed.

The boy reached his hand out. “Then let’s start over, American style.” Taeyeon shook it. “Hello, my name is Ok Taecyeon. I am Tiffany’s best friend. Nice to meet you.”

Taeyeon looked at Tiffany, processing the English in her head before responding. “Hai, ma name iz Kim Taeyeonimnida. I Teepani’s husbandeu. Nice to… to... Ack, chincha!” She knocked her forehead on the table.

“She ran out of English.” Tiffany hugged the petite blonde and they all laughed. "I'm so glad you're in a good mood today."

Taeyeon pointed at the boy. "This man is a genius to bring food here."

"Well, that... And I have another thing to tell you." Tiffany said as she took some burger steak and dipped it in gravy.

"Spill." Taeyeon said as she continued to eat.

"Nan..." Tiffany looked at Taecyeon first, he nodded at her; and Taeyeon looked at them back and forth.

"Mwo, he already knows?" Taeyeon asked. "Since when have I been getting second hand information from you?"

"Nan... Uhh..."

"Nae?" Taeyeon trailed, her eyebrows getting higher and higher with each passing second.

"Oppa's my date for the freshman party." Tiffany blurted out.

Taecyeon spat his food out. "Mwoya?" He looked at Taeyeon, who was staring at Tiffany's revelation and he mouthed in English: 'YOU SELFISH CREEP! ME? WHAT ABOUT SUNNY, HUH?'

'I CAN'T DO IT!' Tiffany mouthed back.

Taeyeon stood up from the table. "I thought that was later? You guys better get ready." Taeyeon processed how the night was going to roll. Taecyeon and Tiffany would be at the party, come back and be all lovey dovey. She pretended to flout what her friend said.

"Gwenchanayo. I'm not going. I'm just... Gonna change clothes." She swiveled past Tiffany and briskly walked to their room.

She shut the door tightly and removed her shirt, while she looked for a more comfortable replacement in her drawer. She wondered what Tiffany really wanted to say. She doesn't understand English even if she hears it and she definitely didn't understand a single word they mouthed.

Tiffany knocked at the door. "Hey, I need to get something too."

"Get in." Taeyeon said, wiggling in a random shirt.

Tiffany shut the door behind her. "Ya, I didn't mean that. We're really only going as friends."

"Amugeotto aniya." Taeyeon pouted; she showed her back to Tiffany so she can make faces. She was childish this way but she found it as a good way to release her anger. Is it because she spent little time with her that she wants to go to a party with another person? This is Siwon all over again!

"Jeongmalieya? Because I mean, I can see your reflection through the mirror." Tiffany crossed her arms. The drained DJ lifted her head and saw that she was right in front of the vanity. Taeyeon bit her lips, that was pretty embarrassing, even for her.

Tiffany went up to her and made her sit on the stool. She took a hair brush and combed her friend's hair. Taeyeon stayed silent the whole time.

"Miane. I don't get to spend much time with you anymore, have I? College is so different from high school, every just moves too fast. I try to grab on as many things as I can because I'm afraid they'll just pass me by." Tiffany confessed. "But in all honesty Taeyeon, you're still the person I treasure the most. Nothing in the world can change that. Siwon... Or Taecyeon. No one can top you, Taengoo. You've got to believe me."

The blonde dug into the wet wipes they had on the side and began removing her makeup. Tiffany observed her movements carefully. Taeyeon wanted her to feel that it wasn't being with Taecyeon that made her feel like this... Though it was a big factor.

All this time, they were dishonest with each other. They never once discussed Siwon nor Leeteuk, like it was an unspoken rule to just stop talking about boys altogether. They never talked about their true feelings anymore. There was only comfort in their presence. Too much of it, that they forgot to fill each other's emptiness.

Their daily exciting conversations died into insincere greetings. They eat together, watch TV and sleep beside each other but nothing special ever goes on anymore.

They were just tolerating each other. Somewhere along the way, both have stopped trying to make things work. Taeyeon wasn't only thinking about the kissing and stuff. She was concerned that they never emotionally supported each other anymore; and if they didn't have that...

What do we have?

Like a married couple that lost all spark, the same kind that stayed only because it was too expensive to pay for separation papers, or because they had kids. It was awful for Taeyeon to bear. It was like she was being eaten inside.

She felt Tiffany's hands go from her soft hair to her shoulders, massaging her in circles; then her hands to her waist. She was hugging her from behind. "Taetae." She whispered. "Can I have you tonight?"

Taeyeon jumped at her invitation, not even thinking if she meant now or later. She dispelled her friend's embrace and led her to their bed. She kissed her forehead, then her cheeks; she went down her neck and shoulders before finally going up to catch her lips. She missed doing this with Tiffany. Despite the familiar taste, she felt something was wrong. Did she switch shampoo? Her hair didn't smell like oranges, it was sweeter like...

Strawberries?

"Tae... Ah!" The redhead breathed. They were so close Taeyeon can taste the mint Tiffany must've chewed on before following her inside her room.  "Uh... Taecyeon will hear us."

"Keep quiet then." Taeyeon hushed as she touched Tiffany under her shirt; but the other girl stopped her; but the smaller girl couldn't stop now. Their hands fought for dominance over the situation.

“Goddammit, Taeng. Are we really doing this with Taecyeon outside?”

“What, you don’t like quickies?” Taeyeon roughly pushed her to the bed and strangled her, then bit her neck as hard as she can.

"Uhmpp..." She tried to hold the moan in. Taeyeon was just on fire today. But before Tiffany and dwell on it, she felt the smaller girl sit up and wipe . She sat up as well, escaping her friend's leg lock. "Mwoaeyo?"

"Panyang, your neck..." Taeyeon's hand reached out for wiped the concealer off her skin, exposing the brownish love mark. Tiffany has been caught.

"Taeyeon, I can explain..." She started.

"Please do." Taeyeon frowned. Is this the reason why Tiffany refused her all the time? Because she was cozy with someone else? And who? Taecyeon? They keep saying they're just friends but with what she's seeing, or tasting… it was different.

So Taecyeon's lips have been here too? She concluded. Tiffany has crossed the line this time.

"Taeyeon, I... I didn't mean to hide it. I just, I mean... I didn't know what I was doing. It was, I don't know!" She fumbled on her words, her panicked eyes asking for forgiveness all the way. "It was a mistake. My mistake, it’s..."

The blonde slapped her hard across her friend's face. She made sure Tiffany was going to feel that in the morning. The panic stricken girl stared at her, shocked that Taeyeon raised her hand against her. The smaller girl's hands went to her friend’s chin and held them up tightly.

"Am I just some plaything? You took me for a fool at this time, haven't you? You bastard…"

Taecyeon knocked on the door. 'Is everything OK?'

"SSIKKEUREOWO!" Taeyeon shouted at him. She locked her eyes with Tiffany's, but all she saw was hate. She was love blind, but she wasn't an idiot... At least, she thought she was.

Taeyeon saw Tiffany's cheeks flare red from her hand. Suddenly, she felt her face sting too. Tiffany didn't need to lift a finger to hurt her. She just needed to be in pain. She realized that if they were sharing something right now, it was the agony of seeing their relationship reach breaking point.

I... I hurt her. Both of their eyes cried for each other and their lips dried from the silence. No words were exchanged.

She stood up, mentally thanking herself that she has not changed shorts and shoes just yet as she took her jacket, wallet and phone before storming out of the room.

Taecyeon was standing right outside their door. Before he could speak, Taeyeon kicked his shin before heading to the front door and slamming it shut. He jumped around like an idiot.

You could have just told me you loved someone else, . She stomped her feet like a kid who didn't get candy and pressed the elevator button. It lit up, but she grew impatient and punched the button repeatedly. The elevator opened a few seconds later and carried her downstairs.

Her lips were dry, but she knew where to go to get them all nice and wet.

•••••••

Sora poured the contents of the cocktail shaker into the glass. She garnished the drink by sinking a cherry into the alluring purple beverage. "This one is popular with the geeks."

Leeteuk took the drink and downed it in one shot. He coughed. "What's in this thing?"

"Maraschino." Sora wiped the counter with her towel. "It’s made out of cherry."

"Who makes drinks out of that?" 

"Well, wine is made out of grapes. Why aren't you complaining about that?" Sora chuckled.

Leeteuk grinned. "For a Journalism major, you sure do know a lot about alcohol."

"Wouldn't that be a given? Since I work here and all." Sora winked.

"Araso araso." Leeteuk nodded, making sure he didn't get too 'attached' to the bartender. He has been going in and out of the bar as of late, just making small talk with the apple cheeked bartender. He had not made much friends at school because of his belligerent nature. After Taeyeon left, he had been very sensitive, picking fights whenever the opportunity shows. Even though his grades were consistent, he kept getting into trouble.

"So tell me about that girl from before." Sora inquired.

"Nugu?" Leeteuk wasn't sure if he heard her correctly.

"Y'know, that girl you used to mope about when you first went here." She giggled as she placed a small bowl in front of the boy her other hand went under the counter to grab something. "I haven't heard about her in a week. Could it be that my bad boy Teukkie is moving on?"

"Your bad boy Teukkie?" He repeated, eyebrows raised.

Sora giggled as she poured some peanuts on the bowl. "Is she still keeping in touch?"

"Aniyo."

"That's good."

He lifted his head. "Mwo? Wae?"

"Well, it means she's sincere in her feelings and that she's giving you space you need to move on." She explained. "I mean, you do feel better, right? If she kept texting you or meeting with you even after you broke up, I'm guessing you'd still be drinking ordinary soju."

Leeteuk thought about it for a second. In that context, he was thankful for Taeyeon, because it did help him resume his normal life; albeit slowly. Moving to Seoul also helped, since he had nothing to remind of him of his ex-girlfriend. Everything in the city kept moving and the pace of his day was fast and busy. He had begun to adapt to a life without her.

A few minutes later, a group of teenagers went inside the bar. Slowly, their numbers doubled then tripled. In less than half an hour, the tables were filled with people.

"I wonder whose birthday it is." Leeteuk chuckled.

"Taeyeon goes to the University, right? Some students rented this place out for an after party." Sora said as she prepared drinks for the other customers. "If you stick around, maybe you'll see her?"

"Nah." He said as he popped one of the peanuts to his mouth. "She won't go here unless Tiffany drags her in. It's always been like that."

"I think she'll be here anyway." Sora wore a smug smile. She leaned to Leeteuk. "Ya, if she goes in here, do you want to get her drunk? I can help you with that."

"What are you talking about?" Leeteuk felt his cheeks blush at the thought but he laughed it off. "You're the devil, aren't you?"

Sora's eyes darted left and right, checking to see if her manager was there before she spoke. She motioned Leeteuk to come closer so she can whisper something to his ear.

"At the back of the bar, there's a door to the rooftop. I'll unlock it for you at about one o' clock. You can be alone with her there."