Mask

“Ah, kamsahamnida.” Tiffany said as she placed twenty five thousand won on the counter and picked up the Pizza. Taeyeon had expressed her interest to try the baked round bread. They don’t usually have the luxury of a decent Domino’s Pizza back in Jeonju. It was simply too far away from where they lived.

This would definitely be a treat. She thought as she lifted the box and left the store. This time, she went to the nearby 7-Eleven and picked up a pack of assorted cola’s in cans. She wasn’t sure if Taeyeon was in the mood for Coke, Sprite or Royal; so she just brought everything.

“Ah, this is so heavy.” Tiffany mumbled as she walked out of the convenience store. She realized how hard it is to catch a cab with her hands tied like this. Ah, eottokke? She said as she felt her phone vibrate from her pocket. She carried everything on her left hand and pulled her phone out. “Yeoboseo?”

“Yah! Tipani! Yah!” Leeteuk called. “Yeoboseo? Yeoboseo? Tipanissi?”

Tiffany laughed. “Ya, oppa. I can hear you. Jaljinaesseo?”

“Ah, gwenchana! Neon eottae?” He asked.

Tiffany looked around. She could’ve sworn she can hear his voice in the background. “Where are you?”

“This punk… You ask her how she is and all she says is ‘where are you’? Ah, chincha!” He even imitated the way she said it. “You should be careful. Taeyeon won’t like soggy pizza.”

Tiffany blinked. Leeteuk has lifted the food off her hand. It took a moment for her to register that they have bumped into each other. Seoul was a big city and yet after just a few days in living in it she came across a person she knew. It gave her a quick refreshing breath of home.

She threw her arms around Leeteuk. “Omo! Oppa! Bogoshipeo! C’mon, let’s hang out.” They laughed at each other and exchanged short stories of their stay in the city. Their excitement made them oblivious to the fact that they blocked the way for people who were passing by. When Leeteuk noticed that they were bothering others, he asked if they can grab coffee at Hongdae.

Tiffany looked at the clock. Quarter to twelve. She shook her head. “Hold on, can I call Taetae first? I mean, the Pizza will be cold. This was supposed to be her lunch.”

“Oh, okay.” Leeteuk nodded nervously.

She dialed her number. It rang for a few seconds and clicked off. Tiffany heard the unfamiliar sound of beeping on her end. She doesn’t usually turn down a phone call. She checked what Leeteuk was doing and if he noticed that Taeyeon hung up on her. Thankfully, he was checking the Pizza out.

Instead, Tiffany typed her message in:

[To: Kim Taeyeon] Hey, r u buzy? Ran in to LT today, Kakao?

A few seconds later, Taeyeon was online on her Kakao and responded to her text.

Taeganger: Where r u?

Fanytastic: Junggu!

Taeganger: What brought u there?

Fanytastic: Pizza <3

Taeganger: Wae? No pizza in Gangnam? 0.0

Fanytastic: Aniyo, I wanted Domino’s

Taeganger: I thought pizza?

Fanytastic: Nevermind. >.<
Can we drop by for lunch? :)))
Taeng?
Taengoo? D:<
DJ, put it back onnnnnn
Butts.

Taeganger: HAHAHAHAHA! ^^
                   Do it again.
                   BUTTS, LOL RAWR

Fanytastic: (=.=)

If Tiffany can punch Taeyeon in the face, she would’ve done that right now. Taeyeon’s obsession with food, she can take; but her love with other people’s posteriors was something she needed to work on… Especially since Taeyeon was extremely interested on her… That. It was like some sort of happy word for her.

Fanytastic: So lunch?
TY, c’mon. M on D road.

Taeganger: Ah, mian. No breaks. Still recording. C u @ 2? ^^

Fanytastic: K. :)))

She sighed as she signed off on her Kakao and turned to Leeteuk. So what was the point of crossing the Han River to get a hot box of Domino’s? More than ever, she was so frustrated at Taeyeon.

Leeteuk looked at her, knowing well that the look on her face meant they were in some sort of disagreement. He’d seen it too many times to be wrong.

He rubbed his shoulders against her, careful not to let the cold cans of soda brush her skin. When he got her attention, he smiled and said. “C’mon, let’s go play Coffee Prince!”

Tiffany returned the gesture. “I’ve always been a fan of that!” She turned off her phone and dropped it in her pocket.

•••••••

Sunny took the paper off her spoon and dipped it in her food. She had just finished topping her Pabinsoo with grapes and sliced kiwi. She loved the way the milk and red bean paste mixed with the fruits. That, and Addis Ababa’s setting was the perfect place to get some work done.

The table was scattered with so much paper. Despite the rules of the 21^st century, she had to find a job via newspaper because she can easily be traced via internet. She found herself thinking about how life was before internet. Especially now, she didn’t have a MacBook or an iPad at her command. Technology is so important. She sighed.

Her camera was on the table as well. She took the liberty to scroll through the pictures while she crushed the bigger pieces of ice into smaller, less brain damaging sizes.

She came across Tiffany’s pictures.

Butterflies. She had never really felt like this before.  She wondered what kind of connection she and Tiffany might have had in their past life and that for some reason she was attracted to her severely. Even the dream last night scared her!

The door chime rung and she felt two people enter the café. When Sunny saw them, she immediately wore her aviators and hid behind a broadsheet that she got outside.

“Is this a place you go to all the time?” Tiffany asked, looking around the coffee shop.

“Nah, I just found out about it. Over here.” The boy led her to a seat on the other side of the room. He placed a box of pizza and some six cans of cola on the table.

They both sat down and pointed at the menu. It looks like they were both deciding what to drink. Sunny eyed the boy. He was wearing simple spring clothes, just some jeans topped with a sweatshirt.

What are these two, dating?

She wanted to sit nearer so she can hear their conversation but the amount of paper would be a pain to pack up. So instead she took a picture of the two while they order some coffee.

It hadn’t occurred to Sunny that Tiffany might be straight. After all, her choice of clothing and manner of speaking both implied that she was interested in boys. Sunny examined every part of Tiffany’s body, from her sparkly manicure to her skin hugging shirt and her colorful heels. She was the epitome of girlishness. Her purse, phone, iTouch… Everything was on different shades of pink.

There is no way Tiffany would like me that way. She thought as she swiveled the camera to click on something else. She wanted to remain low profile as possible, so she gave the impression that she was reviewing the café to the people around her. She would pretend to scribble in some notes and return to spying in regular intervals.

Tiffany and the boy continued to talk. There was no way for Sunny to understand what they were talking about, but there wasn’t any of the funny stuff that usually happened when you’re on a date. They never played with their feet or held hands. They were simply conversing with each other.

She prayed so hard that their relationship was merely platonic.

In the end, Tiffany nodded and stood up. There was this sense of conviction on her face as she picked the food off the table and left. Each step she took, her face turned blank and emotionless. It was like she was drained of something.

Drained of what? Sunny snapped one last picture of Tiffany and glanced back at the boy; he was digging through is hair. She can see his cheeks glistening and she knows that he was crying.

When Sunny looked back at her table, her pabingsoo turned to some kind of breakfast cereal.

•••••••

Tiffany carried the food up the stairs. She was lost in thought. How can Taeyeon not tell her about this? If she can hide stuff like this from her, what else did she hide? She knows Leeteuk’s side of the story now and if Taeyeon’s story doesn’t hold up that way it should, there’s gonna be trouble.

Lost in thought, she walked in the hallways endlessly until she felt like she collided with something. Thankfully, none of them were knocked over. She was extremely grateful because the person who bumped into was a tower compared to her.

“Sillehamnida!” Tiffany bowed, sincerely sorry for her mistake. She wasn’t in the position to even loiter around the station like this.

“Ah gwenchana.” The girl said as she composed herself. When she lifted her head, Tiffany leaned closer and examined her face. The girl smiled awkwardly. “Is there something on my face?”

“Ah… Aniya.” Tiffany shook her head. “You look exactly like my friend back home. Im Yoona?”

The girl shook her head. “I’m afraid not. But I have to ask, what are you doing here? This place is off limits.”

“Oh, uhm…” Tiffany looked around. “I’m actually lost. I’m looking for Kim Taeyeon?”

The girl giggled. “So you’re one of DJ Taengoo’s friends? Well, come on over. I’ll show you where she is.”

Tiffany followed the girl to Taeyeon’s studio. She can see her through a two way mirror now, hard at work. She was scribbling things on her paper and winking at the online camera on her station. She wondered if Taeyeon’s fans were listening in.

"Yes, yes. We all fall in love. It's human nature. You can't stop what you feel. You can always control your actions though. That's what makes us different from animals, right?"

Taeyeon was taking words from out of Tiffany’s mouth. A year ago, during one of their many heart to heart talks with each other, she had questioned what will happen to them if they fell in love.

You can always control what you can do. She said. That was a load of bull though. Since when did Tiffany ever have control over what she felt for Taeyeon? She messed up too many times to think that she was still wearing a chastity belt whenever they were alone together.

"But still, when you're hungry, you have to eat. Similarly, if you hunger for love, you have to take it." Taeyeon continued. "But would you steal bread from the baker? Would you eat in a manner that would make you look primal? You won't, right?"

Tiffany looked at the food she brought her best friend. I can only take care of you, Taengoo. I can’t be that person for you. There are so many people who can do a better job than me.

The girl opened the door beside Taeyeon’s glass panel and Jessica’s head poked out. “Ya! Taeyeonssi told me you might drop by. You can wait for her in here.”

“Kamsahamnida.” Tiffany smiled as she went inside the room. It was some sort of storage room for music CDs but there was a couch on one side of the room. Taeyeon even saw her enter and mouthed an ‘OK!’ with each other.

“So do you know each other?” Jessica asked as she returned Taeyeon’s used CDs back in the shelves.

“I’m sorry?” Tiffany asked.

“Krystal, do you know her?” She asked again.

“Ah…” Is that her name? Tiffany looked at the girl as she closed the door. She shook her head. “Aniya. She just brought me to the right place.”

“Okay.” Jessica said as she packed stacks of paper and went outside. “Sit down. I’ll be back.”

Tiffany sat on the leather sofa. It looks like Taeyeon was finishing up on her broadcast. She placed the food on the table and waited.

Taeyeon, do you really want me? She asked as she stared at Taeyeon. On the outside, she looked innocent and pure but behind every smile she wore as a fire that ate her away. Burning, slowly turning her to this black flower that dried up.

Her hands trembled. I’m pushing you away, Taetae… But I want you to stay. Does that make sense though? Even Tiffany didn’t know.

Jessica returned. She lifted a finger at her and winked, effectively hushing Tiffany’s thoughts to a halt. Tiffany stood up and followed her only to see Jessica place the CD on Taeyeon’s desk. They both waited for her to finish her closing. Jessica gave her an approving ‘thumbs up!’ before leaving them alone in the room.

Tiffany briefly wondered if the music biz really did work this fast. If she was in Taeyeon’s seat, she’d be like… ‘Whut?’ with a dumb expression covering her face. She giggled by herself, just by the sound of the idea.

Taeyeon came out of the room and hugged her. “Were you listening?”

“I recorded it.” She said.

There was a brief moment of silence between them before Taeyeon finally spoke. “I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“I kind of… Just wanted to spend my free time with you, that’s all.” Taeyeon admitted. “Please don’t be mad at me. I’ll eat the pizza.”

“Yeah, you better.” Tiffany giggled. She had completely forgotten about their earlier messages in Kakao. Taeyeon smiled at her. But there was so many things that she just had to ask her friend; things that she needed to know. She wanted to hold on to something, anything that will secure her relationship with Taeyeon once and for all.

“What is it?” Taeyeon read her face.

“Do you love Leeteuk?” She searched her friend’s eyes.

“Is the cat out of the bag?” Taeyeon asked. She wanted to pull away but Tiffany locked her in her arms, demanding an answer. “What I said in the hotel… And how I’ve been acting. I really… I really think that we should fight for this.”

“For what?” Tiffany asked. “Is there anything besides friendship on the table?”

Taeyeon rested her head on Tiffany’s shoulders as they hugged. “Tiffany, I kissed you.” She whispered. “And you kissed me back, please don’t tell me you felt empty while we did those things.”

Was it empty? No, of course not... But was it right? Her love for Taeyeon wasn't the issue. It was what she did with that love. Never in her life did she feel violated by the things they did behind everyone's backs. It was so wrong. Just the thought of it make her heart sink.

Tiffany felt her friend shift her head. “Taeny is real… Right?”

“Yeah, it’s real.” Tiffany assured her. They began staring at each other. I meant every single one too but…

Why does everything have to be ‘but I…’ to you? Are you scared? Coward!

I don’t want this for you.

If I’m going to live my life miserably anyways… I’m going to spend it with you.

One girl, afraid of the world, finally understands who Taeyeon is to her life. She takes her, closing her eyes away to the truth and indulges on the sweet flavor of her friend’s lips.

Kim Taeyeon, saranghae.

Nado.