FAME

The dull light Sunny’s green Vaio was the only thing that illuminated the room. She felt hot and heavy, like something was pressed on top of her slumber. She rubbed her eyes and tried to focus. First the ceiling, then the blinds that blocked the bright city lights in the evening, eventually the strands of red hair on her chest.

Tiffany lifted her head. “Getting up already?” She hummed.

“Where's my shirt?” Sunny asked; her hands wandered under the sheets. She tried to push the taller girl out of the way, but Tiffany held her down. They looked at each other and smiled before planting small butterfly kisses on each other’s nose and cheeks. "What, you want to stay like this all night?" She breathed.

Tiffany’s voice was husky on the bed covers. “What do you want to eat tonight?”

“Oh, I thought your friend was coming over?” Sunny remembered. “Didn’t you say he’d bring food us?”

“Oh right…” Tiffany quickly sat up and combed her hair with her fingers. Sunny sat up as well. She grabbed the bed sheets over her chest as she eyed the red head. She sat on the edge of the bed and tried to hook her shirt from the floor with her feet. She aired it before she wiggled the cloth through her head and her arms. “Have you seen my shorts?”

“I think we left it in the kitchen?” Sunny giggled as she hugged her partner from behind and planted on last kiss on her cheek before getting up completely. She felt Tiffany’s eyes follow her bare body as she headed to her dresser. She fetched some clothes for herself and tossed one of her boxer shorts at the foot of the bed.

“I don’t know what’s happening.” Tiffany wiped her forehead with her hand. She had trouble breathing in Sunny’s stained bedroom and for them to stay like this for a prolonged period of time made her nauseous. Nevertheless, her hormones cried for it. “I never expected to feel this way.”

Sunny threw on whatever clean clothes she still had left and sat beside Tiffany. She slid her hand to hers and leaned on her shoulders. “Hey… I’m scared out of my mind too. I don’t think both of us expected to feel this way.”

“Do you regret anything?” The red head asked.

Sunny’s small hands went to Tiffany’s chin and turned it gently so she can see her face. “Why should I? I’ll fight for you if I have to.”

I want you, this much.

“I’ve never done anything like this to Taeyeon before.” She admitted, her eyes watering. “All this sneaking around…Not telling her things I should, it’s driving me nuts.” Her hands left Sunny's and instead went to rub the back her neck. It was like part of her thought that being with Sunny like this was such a pain... Maybe it is.

Sunny suddenly felt the urge to flip everything her eyes set on. In her mind at least, she had probably punched the irritating choding a hundred times over. What, can't she size up to Taeyeon? Is it because she's some hotshot DJ? Does Tiffany think she isn't capable of taking care of her? Even if she was showing her interest right now, Fany clearly favored the other girl. She faked a smile instead, knowing that she has to draw the line sooner or later. “Then, we can’t do this again.”

‘I’m sorry.’ That was the last thing Tiffany had to say about that. She left the room. Sunny felt the humid atmosphere of her room disintegrate slowly as the cool lavender scented air of the common room rushed inside. Outside, she felt refreshed, saved even; that her lungs are now filling the lack of nourishment her bedroom didn't provide. They hid behind her door during times like these, even if Taeyeon was out of the house; Fany would insist in using her room.

Tight, humid and wild. A secret that they kept together. Locked in a suffocating ecstasy. Life, then deathly bliss. You'll get her, for about an hour or two... Three was the longest they ever got. They never had a full night together because Taeyeon would always come back home and Tiffany would always crawl back to their room.

Isn't this a lovely way to die?

Sunny knew she was fighting a losing battle; but she was experiencing so much in just one person. She couldn’t believe she can feel all these different things at once. Love, anger, jealousy, excitement... Wow! She used to only laugh at people whom she photographed. But now she can understand the meaning behind the couples she saw quarrelling in the middle of the street.

She didn’t know what Tiffany felt exactly… But did it matter? Not all love stories ends in happily ever after anyway. Movies taught her that. She was mature this way, but also childish to cling on the bliss she was provided. She loved the feeling of loving someone. It was something you can never capture on a camera.

Can she?

Sunny walked her shelf and picked up a pen. She clicked the pen, but the point didn't poke out. She smiled and placed the pen back in its place, pointing it to the bed before she went outside to cool off with some water.

She figured Tiffany is going to choose between them one of these days, if she ends up staying with Taeyeon; then Sunny would have good memories to look back on. If she somehow decides otherwise, then the story goes on. It was that simple, unless someone decides to complicate things.

•••••••

Tiffany splashed cold water on her face. Her face lost all the traces of oil. Washing up usually takes her five minutes, but today it feels like it took her a full ten. She couldn't stand looking at her face again. The last time she felt like this was more than a month ago but this time, she felt excruciating pain in seeing her own body. 

Why is it that she keeps screwing things up? Avoiding Taeyeon, making friends with a loser... And... She looked at her sweat stained clothes on the hamper.

And sleeping around?

No! She bit her lips. This isn't the person she wanted to be! This isn't who she was at all!

She closed her eyes. She can come clean with her best friend, right? Taeyeon will always forgive her. But what about Sunny? What if Taengoo takes it out on her? She knew who she was before her career started; and she can also be as cruel as Sooyoung when it comes to these things.

Tiffany opened her eyes, and all she can see was a hickey on her neck.

"Holy !" She examined it closely. When did she get this? Today? No, no, no. Sunny didn't even stay north for too long today. Was it yesterday? Her head searched for a time when her partner might've given her such an obvious love mark. She was careful in getting blemishes and now she had to... Ack, chincha!

She took out some BB cream and smothered it on the mark. She went to her room and frantically searched for her concealer. She opened her drawer and revealed an empty tube. Her mind processed the fact that she used it up to cover the burn mark her hand had while cooking. She threw the useless container in the trash and looked around.

Taeyeon's bag.

Her best friend loved collecting cosmetics as much as her. She has to have some too, right? Tiffany's hand immediately went inside Taeyeon's bag and saw exactly what she needed: Faceshop.

She took a pea sized amount and placed the rest on the vanity. This would have to do.

She heard the intercom buzz and she poked her head outside the room. "Sunny, can you get that?" She heard Sunny say a hearty 'Ye!' as she walked towards the front door, carrying a whole lot of aegyo with her.

Tiffany looked in her closet and threw on some casual clothes on. It wasn't anything fancy, just enough to make Taecyeon feel comfortable. She pulled her hair up and tied it up. She spent an extra minute making sure her hair was in place. She always paid attention to her hair.

She can hear Sunny and Taecyeon's muffled conversation. Something about the pork being 'tender enough' and the sauce cost him an extra ten thousand won at the chicken store. She can hear Sunny laugh because he was narrating how he went inside a restaurant only to ask for sauce. It was like going inside McDonald's only to ask for gravy. Scratch that, it was exactly like that.

Tiffany smiled. The only friend she made in the University was Taecyeon. She ignored everyone else because she thought they lacked appeal. Not that she found the boy interesting; he was just the only person insane enough to follow her around.

When she went outside, she saw Taecyeon setting up a grill on the dining table. Sunny was just staring at table. Curious, Tiffany went closer and was so shocked that she spoke in English, "What the hell? Do you plan on feeding the army?!"

Looking over the table: there were onions, mushrooms, lettuce, a half pint of what seems to be gravy, kimchi, samgyeopssal and burger steaks. It looked like a feast for twenty people.

"Don't pretend you don’t want this." Taecyeon grinned as he took one of the onions and pitched it at Tiffany, but she caught it with ease. "We are gonna have so much fun on this sleep over!" He said as he continued to fix the stove.

Tiffany tossed the onion in the air and caught it. "These are good onions. Where did you buy it?"

"The wet market at the pier."

"But that's where I buy and it’s not as good at this... Look." She took knife and cut the onion in half.  When she held it up to the light, the purple bulb's insides glistened. "It’s so fresh and it weighs more than the others; like it was taken straight out of the ground."

Taecyeon shrugged. "I haven't really noticed, but I can show you where I buy stuff. Next time."

Tiffany continued to make onion rings while Taecyeon set up the fire. "Taeyeon will be so surprised to see this. I hope she's in a good mood. She's been... Out of it, lately."

"I'm not surprised." Taecyeon clapped as he finally got the stove running on a low, blue flame. "There we go!"

"You get happy at the simplest things!" Tiffany giggled, then glanced at Sunny, noticing that she hasn't spoken a word since Taecyeon laid the food on the table. She was just there, frozen. It wasn't the first time she acted like this. While they were watching movies, she somehow manages to stop functioning for minutes. It was so... Weird, but she figured it was just her spacing out.

Taecyeon was still busy playing with the grill when Tiffany went up to Sunny. Her face was blank and empty, like her mind just travelled somewhere else. She held her hand. "Suniah, gwenchana?"

Sunny nodded and quickly went to her room. Taecyeon and Tiffany looked at each other. She went out with some jeggings and a coat on. She also carried a small bag, presumably her camera and headed to the door. "Don't wait up on me. I just remembered something really important."

"O-okay." Was all Tiffany could muster as Sunny went out the door.

After the door shuts, Taecyeon threw at tomato at Californian girl. “WHAT THE DID YOU DO THIS TIME?”

•••••••

Sunny's feet were taking her somewhere but she didn't know where. Back in the room, she saw something that frightened her. Something that terrorized her, but she didn't know what. The moment she saw the stove, her body just went shut down for some reason. She waited for Taecyeon to pull up a plug, but he never did. He kept egging the switch until she saw a spark... And then it began again:

Pop, pop, pop... It went; but it wasn't the stove. She can hear the TV switch from the noon-time Saturday infomercials to static; but the TV wasn't on. The white light bulb in the kitchen was on; but it wasn't white, it was yellowish. The chic furniture of their apartment was there; but it wasn't modern,  it was antique. She can hear someone moan, like she was having ; but it wasn't Tiffany that was . She was the only girl she had done anything like that with. But it wasn't her soft and loving voice.

It was Sunny's.

Her hands cringed and in a second, she blotted out.

When she woke up, she was sleeping on a bed. She was inside a familiar house. Somewhere she was taught to be safe from everything, where all the pain ended and all pleasure was served on a silver spoon. It was warm inside, humid and the air smelled like tobacco. She felt hands welcome her back on the bed. Rough, male hands. One by one, her clothes were dispelled...

But Sunny wasn't in a room, she was on the burnt chapel, smiling at the moon like a lunatic.