I went back home visiting my parents the next day because I wanted to tell them about my visit. I knew that Chanyeol’s dad would eventually tell them if I didn’t so I might as well be the one

informing them about it. My mom was preparing for dinner when I got home and I helped out. I loved helping out my mom in the kitchen because she is an excellent cook, much much better than myself and I took every opportunity to learn from her. I told her about my visit at the hospital and the results while I was helping out. I also told her about that I might be starting to remember things from those two years. I expected her to be happy for me because then I would be able to tell her about my life there. Her reaction was totally different from what I expected though. She didn’t seem happy at all instead she had a worried look on her face.

“What’s wrong mom? I just said that I might be getting my memory back and that my report results were fine. You don’t look too happy...”

“Nothing is wrong, dear. Of course I’m happy for you. Tell me more about those dreams or memory of yours. What are they about?”

“For now it’s nothing much. It’s just blurry images. I’m not even sure that they’re my memories because I think Chanyeol is in them. At least I think it’s him..it’s a boy for sure.. but I didn’t meet Chanyeol until I moved back here so I’m confused. Maybe I’m mixing up the memories from my current life with my old ones or maybe they’re just dreams.”

“That sounds like dreams to me. I have blurry dreams sometimes too.You should take Dong Hun’s advice and don’t think about it too much.”

I looked at my mom and strangely it looked like she was relieved. Maybe I was imagining it but I decided not to ask her. I would tell her when I know for sure.

“What are we having for dinner tonight?”

“ I made kimchi last Sunday and I’m planning on making kimchi jjigae. Are you ok with that or do you want to eat something else?”

“Yum! Nope, I’m fine with that. Did you make a lot of kimchi? Can I bring some home with me? There is not much left from the last batch you gave me.”

“I’ve already prepared extra for you and Chanyeol. Remember to remind me about it before you leave.”

“Yay, will do. Your kimchi is the best. Chanyeol thinks that too hahaha!”

“Silly girl, too bad that Chanyeol is missing out on my kimchi jjigae today then.”

“Yeah, he is busy studying for his exam on Thursday. Talking about jjigae. Chanyeol’s new roommate’s seafood doenjang jjigae taste exactly the same as yours...sooo good! Isn’t it strange? I haven’t had yours in a long time though. Can’t you make that next week?”

“ My seafood doenjang jjigae? When did you have that? I just recently learned how to cook it properly. I think that I’ve only cooked it a few times for your dad before. He said it tasted aweful. But sure I can cook it next week if that’s what you want. It should taste better now.”

“Really? But I’m sure that I’ve eaten that doenjang jjigae somewhere before and I was so sure that it was you who made it for me...that’s strange...maybe I remember it wrong then.”

“I should learn how to cook it from Chanyeol’s roommate then haha. For now I’m sticking with my other jjigaes. Actually I’m going to cook some extra for you to bring home to Chanyeol. He shouldn’t miss out on this.”

My mom wanted me to bring the kimchi jjigae to Chanyeol today because she thought that he probably didn’t have time to cook when he was studying. After dinner I called him and asked if he had dinner yet and he hadn’t. He was just planning on cooking some ramyun so my mom quickly packed some kimchi jjigae and two big boxes of kimchi to bring it with me. My dad drove me over to his place so I wouldn’t have to carry it all by myself and Chanyeol met us by his gate. Dad wanted to drive me home too but I wanted to stay with Chanyeol for a while.

“My mom already treats you like her own son. Look she even prepared a box of kimchi for you.”

“Really? Woho! Her kimchi is the best. Don’t tell me you’re jealous already. I am her future son-in-law though.”

“Who said that I’m going to marry you? You have no shame.”

“Who else are you going to marry?”

We kept teasing each other all the way back to his apartment. When we entered his apartment I noticed that we were alone.

“Where is Kyungsoo. Shouldn’t he be studying too?”

“I don’t know where he went. We studied together until you called and said that you would be coming over. After that he said he was going out for a while. He left like a minute before you came.”

“Umm, ok. Too bad for him. I think there is enough kimchi jjigae for him as well.”

“I can eat that all by myself. I’m so hungry right now.”

“Don’t be so greedy. You should save some for him. Sharing is caring~”

“Well let’s see how much there is left when I’m finished hahaha. I’ll go and heat it up now.”

He went to the kitchen and I took a seat by the dinner table. I could see that they have been studying there because there were papers and books all over the table. I cleaned it up and moved their stuff to the coffee table in the living room instead. When I was placing the books on the table I could hear a phone ringing. It wasn’t mine or Chanyeol’s phone and the ringing came from Kyungsoo’s room.

Oh he forgot his phone at home. That ringtone sounds really familiar though where have I heard it before?

I wanted to hear it more clearly and walked closer to Kyungsoo’s room. He must have placed his phone near the edge of his desk because it suddenly fell to the floor. It stopped ringing and I peeked into his room to see if it was broken. I could see the phone lying on the floor and something grey laid beside it.

It really broke? He should be more careful with his stuff.

I wasn’t sure whether I should pick it up or just let it lay there but my curiosity took over and I went into his room to pick it up. It turned out that grey thing wasn’t a piece from the phone as I thought. I picked the things up and placed it back on his desk. There was a small notebook lying on his desk and something caught my attention. Stuck between the pages was photo of Chanyeol. At first I wasn’t sure if it was Chanyeol in the photo because it was half covered. I took a closer look and pulled it out a bit. It was definitely Chanyeol..

Why does he have a photo of Chanyeol in his notebook?

My thoughts were all over the place. Chanyeol wasn’t looking into the camera in that photo, it looked like it was secretly taken from a distance. I know it was a really bad thing to do but I couldn’t leave it like that. I wanted to see the whole photo so I opened up the notebook. The photo wasn’t whole because it looked smaller than an average photo would do. He had cut a bit off. That wasn’t the thing that bothered me the most. What bothered me the most was what was written on the page that I had open. I only took a quick glance at the text and my eyes got fixated at the last words“..love you”.

“Good, you cleaned the table, where are you?”

Chanyeol’s voice startled me. I quickly closed the book and pushed the photo back to it’s original position. Then I left the room and found Chanyeol sitting by the dinner table already.

“There you are. I’m starving so I’m going to start eating.”

“You don’t have to wait for me..”

“I wanted to....”

I could hear Chanyeol talking to me but my brain couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. I had too many thoughts going on in my head.

What did I just read? “I love you Chanyeol? Nooo, it just said love you..doesn’t have to be Chanyeol just because his picture was tucked in that page. Gosh, I’m thinking too much. I’m not even sure if it said love you anymore maybe I read it wrong.

It was really hard not to think of it the wrong way, no matter how much I tried to find excuses I ended up thinking that Kyungsoo is gay and he was in love with my boyrfriend. Thinking like that explained a lot, like why he acted like that towards me when we first met. Also how fast he wanted to move in with Chanyeol. His aunt’s house definitely looked big enough to have him living there but he still chose to move.

“Hey~ are you listening?”

Chanyeol woke me up from my train of thoughts.

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"I was asking you about Kyungsoo, are things okay between you guys?"

I was about to answer him but was interrupted by the sound of a door opening. Kyungsoo was back.

“Are you hungry? We have kimchi jjigae. It’s in the kitchen.”

“Oh sure, that sounds good. Thanks.”

Kyungsoo went into the kitchen to prepare his food. I couldn’t look at him at all because I didn’t know how to face him. There was no way that I could pretend that nothing has happened. The uneasiness that I had in my chest grew stronger. I had to leave immediately.

“Umm, I’m really tired I should go home and have a rest. It has been a long day today.”

“You do look tired. I’ll take you home, it’s faster with the bike. Let me get your box of kimchi from the fridge.”

“You haven’t finished your dinner yet. I can go home by myself.”

“I’m not going to let you go home by yourself. I can finish it when I get back.”

He left the table and I went to put on my jacket in the hall. When I passed the kitchen I met Kyungsoo.

“You’re leaving already? I had a taste of the kimchi jjigae. It’s delicious, now I know where you’ve gotten your cooking skills from haha!”

I didn’t know how to respond. Not only had I discovered his secret, I had violated his privacy too. The worst thing is that he was in love with my boyfriend. How do you deal with that...

I gave him a nod and then I opened the door and left. During the ride home I hugged Chanyeol extra tightly. Even though I knew that Chanyeol would never leave me for Kyungsoo I felt uncomfortable imagining them leaving in the same apartment and seeing each other everyday. Would Kyungsoo ever confess to him or should I tell Chanyeol about it. I didn’t know what to do. For now it was best to keep an eye on them.

I dreamt again this night and it was not one of those memory dreams. It was nightmares about Kyungsoo.

~ O ~