I kept myself busy the next couple days. Cleaned the house, bought groceries, cooked food, watched dramas, went out on walks. Everything I did reminded me about them. Eating alone reminded me of Chanyeol and cooking food reminded me of Kyungsoo. It was impossible to get my mind off of them and I felt like I was going to break down at any minute. When I thought that I had made my decision I changed it the next minute. The battle inside me went on and on and I just knew that I wouldn’t be able to choose one of them. Even after the holiday was over I still hadn't made my decision and I was too mentally tired to study and decided to stay home the following week. 

~A week later: Tuesday~

Today I received a package. I didn’t know who it was from because there was no name or address of the sender. I sat down on the couch and opened it. Inside it was my bunny that Kyungsoo had given to me and also a letter. I opened the letter and recognized the handwriting, it was from Chanyeol.

My Bunny~

I’m writing this letter because I know that you won’t be able to choose one of us. You’re the best thing that has happened to me and I’m happy that I could be a part of your life. I love you so much but seeing you like this now is breaking my heart. I want you to go back to being yourself, your true self. I know that you felt that you weren’t comeplete without those memories and I’m happy that you regained them because it has given me a chance to know the real you as well. It doesn’t matter to me who you are as long as it’s you. I don’t want you to be sad or afraid if you want to choose Kyungsoo over me. No matter how much I want you to be with me the most important thing for me is still that you’re happy. I hope that I can still be a part of your life and I’ll be waiting for you at the place where I confessed to you tomorrow. If I don’t see you tomorrow I’ll know your decision. Remember to not be afraid. I will forever be by your side and I’ll be there when you need me even if it’s as a friend. Just don’t forget about me haha. I’ll always love you~

Chanyeol

I put the letter aside after reading it and picked up the bunny. A light press on the nose and I could hear Kyungsoo’s voice.

Honeybunny~

I’m recording another message to you. I’ve thought about it. I’m glad that fate gave me a second chance. You getting your memories back is a miracle to me. This time I came back to Seoul because I just wanted to see you and how you were doing. When I saw that you were happy with Chanyeol I was happy too. I never intended to get between you two, I was happy if I could be by your side as a friend. I’m so sorry that my appearance had brought so much pain into your life. Seeing you crying and hurting makes me hate myself for making the decision to come looking for you again. Maybe this is fate telling me that it’s time to let go even if I don’t want to. Having you in my life once is  enough for me. We are in the past and Chanyeol is your future. I’ve decided to move back to Goyang and I’ll be leaving tomorrow at noon. I wished that I could turn back the time to before I came back into your life and I hope that me leaving will give you a new beginning. This isn’t the end of us it’s a beginning for you.  It’s ok to forget about me because I will always remember you. I want you to follow your heart. Wherever I am or whatever I’m doing I’m always going to be happy if you’re happy. Love you forever~

Tears were dripping down my face again but this time I wasn’t sad. I was happy that  I have two such amazing people in my life who always put me in first place. I really had nothing to fear because I knew that whatever I decided to do or whoever I chose it was going to be alright. Reading and hearing their messages gave me a new insight to things. Since I couldn’t choose with my mind and heart when I was awake I would let my dreams decide. Dreams are the mirrors to your unconsciousness and reflects your inner desires and true thoughts. Whoever I dream about tonight will be the one I truly want to be with. Just like my dreams didn’t lie to me about my memories it wouldn’t lie to me about what my heart wants either. Some might think that it’s stupid to rely on a dream to make such a big decision but for me it was the right thing to do. I trusted my dreams and that they would help me. 

I cleared my mind and did not think of neither Chanyeol nor Kyungsoo before falling asleep this night. It was the most peaceful night that I’ve had in a while. I fell asleep without any worries and I didn’t wake up even once until the next morning.

~The Next morning~

I opened my eyes and saw that it was already nine o’clock. I felt calm because I had one of the best dreams last night. I didn’t need to try to remember it cause I knew exactly what it was about. A decision had been made and I knew that I wouldn’t regret it this time or change. I knew what I wanted and what I should do. I got out of bed and had a quick breakfast before I headed out. Outside of my apartment building I could either choose to go right or to left. One of the paths would lead me to the hospital and the other one would lead me to the train station.

I took a deep breath and smiled. I turned ninety degrees and walked straight towards my dream guy~

~ O ~