Big girls don't cry.
Can I Have This Dance? [Discontinued]
30. Lee Yoohyun
I stared at this last name.
I’m not in… I didn’t make it…
I closed my eyes. It may sound silly but I wanted to cry so much.
What do I do now?
I couldn’t move. I stood there motionless, not even stepping aside to let the others see the list. My mind went blank…
No words could describe how I felt right now. Another fail to add at the list. What are the boys going to think? They're going to be so disapointed. Not to mention my brother. Hell I didn't know how I could face him now. He was so proud of my performance earlier.
“Hey Sorin!” I thought I heard someone call my name, “Hello~” the person waved her hand in front of my eyes.
“Huh… Oh. Siwon-Oppa it’s you,” I snapped out, “What are you doing here?” I asked, realizing that everyone left, leaving me alone in front of the wall,
“We were thinking that it was a bit dangerous to let a girl walking back home alone at night,” he smiled. He briefly looked at the wall and chuckled, “Why were you standing here? You were so surprised they picked you that you couldn’t believe it?” he said, “You were very good, nothing surprising!”
I looked at him for a while. I felt awful… They all expected I would make it but I didn’t… This is so disappointing.
I felt my nose stinging and my eyes got watery,
“Hey! Are you that happy?” he laughed,
The next second, I buried my face in his chest sobbing like crazy.
“Hey. What’s wrong?” he softly asked, feeling that something was wrong,
“I didn’t make it Oppa… I’m not selected…” I cried,
“What do you mean?” he asked,
I think he looked up to the list and saw that my name wasn’t written on it.
“I-I don’t understand,” he whispered,
I kept crying against his chest, grabbing on his shirt. He gently patted my back.
“Ssh… C’mon, Sorin. It’s okay,” he said, “Wanna go somewhere?” he asked me,
I shook my head. Siwon gently pulled me away from him and held me at arm length,
“That wasn’t exactly the answer I was waiting for,” he chucked,
“Sorry Oppa… I… don’t really feel like going out right now,” I murmured,
“C’mon. I’d like to go somewhere but I’m scared alone,” he smiled,
I hesitated. Where is he going to bring me? Well… whatever… It couldn’t be worst than now. I nodded. Siwon smiled, took my hand and leaded me out. We were about to go out when I thought of something,
“Isn’t it dangerous to go out like this? I mean… you’re famous…” I said,
He smiled, “When you’re a celebrity, you should always bring a hat and sunglasses everywhere you go,” he said,
He put on his disguise and we walked out on the street. While we were making our way to the place he was taking me, people were looking at us saying how a cute couple we were… I hid my face and realized how stupid it was… I was not the famous one here… Siwon didn’t look like he cared though.
We arrived in a quite and dark alley. My free hand instinctively took a grab on his sleeve, “Where are we Oppa?” I asked a bit worried,
“Don’t worry. I often come to this place,” he gave me a reassuring squeeze,
We stopped in front of a small wooden door. He opened it and motioned me to go in first. The moment we stepped a foot in, the music filled our ears. A waiter came to us and showed us a table for two.
“Where are we?” I asked,
“This is a jazz bar,” he smiled,
“A jazz bar?”
He nodded, “When you’re down, what is better than a little music to cheer you up?”
“Siwon! It’s been a while since we didn’t see you around!” a voice suddenly came,
“Hey Taejon! Good to see you buddy!” he said to a guy who seems to be the bartender,
“I thought you ditched us by not coming,” the guy said,
“Sorry, I was a bit busy,” Siwon apologized,
Then he noticed me and studied me, “Your date?” he elbowed Siwon with a smirk,
Siwon shook my head, laughing,
“Really? So can I?” Taejon grinned,
Siwon shook my head once again, “Uh-uh,”
He pouted, “Tss, whatever,” then he turned to me, “Hi! I’m Kang Taejon,” he extended his hand,
I shyly shook it, “I’m Lee Sorin,”
“She’s Eunhyuk’s sister,” Siwon added,
“Oh really? How come she doesn’t look like him?”
“Maybe she used her genes in a better way than Hyukkie did,” Siwon laughed,
“Anyway, what brings you here today?” he asked, “It’s the first time I see you bringing someone here,”
“I had a tiring day and I just didn’t feel like coming here alone,” Siwon said,
I smiled. That was nice of him to not mention the fact that I failed at the audition.
“Then what do you want to drink? As usual?”
“Yeah, as usual,” Siwon nodded
“And for you my lady?” he asked me,
I felt myself blushing a bit,
“Get her the Special,” Siwon said,
“The Special? You’re sure?” he raised his eyebrows, “Okay… Then I better prepare some orange juice too,” and he walked away,
“What’s the Special?” I asked,
“You’ll see,” Siwon smiled.
I sighed and looked around. This was a typical jazz bar with yellow light and warm atmosphere. There was no one smoking though, which was good. To my surprise, all the people who were here came alone, as if this place was the place to be if you needed some time on your own.
I noticed Siwon was looking at something. I followed his gaze and saw that it was someone: the singer on stage. She was a short, rather chubby girl, who didn’t look like all the skinny idols from girl groups, but her face was as pretty as an angel and she was dressed in a gorgeous black dress. From the moment I looked at her, I was completely hypnotized by her voice. It was low and soft, like the wind that blows in autumn; it was warm and cosy, like the sand of the beach in summer; it was fresh, like the new flowers of spring; and it was a real slap on the face, like the cold of winter.
“She’s good isn’t she?” Siwon said, breaking my chain of thoughts,
I nodded, “Yes, she really is,”
“I met her two years ago, and she was just like you,” he said,
I tilted my head, “What do you mean?”
“She failed an SM Audition,”
My eyes widened, “How? Her voice is amazing!”
“It is, but she didn’t get picked because of her physic,”
“That’s so unfair…” I whispered,
“I thought that too. But you know. That’s the bad part of the music industry. You need to look good, no matter how talented you are,”
“And?” I asked, knowing that he wasn’t telling me this just because,
“She was so devastated when she saw that she wasn’t picked. Her parents told her that if she didn’t get a job with music, she’d have to study medicine abroad. But that was not what she wanted to. So I helped her,”
“How?” I asked curiously,
“I asked her if she wanted to sing in this bar. It is true that you don’t make as much money as if you were an idol, but I gave her a special salary,” he smiled, “So from that moment, she sang here every night, her parents let her go and she is happy,”
I nodded, “That’s nice of you, and it’s good that she could make singing her job,” I said,
“She even got a little revenge on the agency!” Siwon laughed,
“How?”
“She lost a few pounds and reapplied for the audition. This time she got picked, but she declined the contract,”
“Why?” I was surprised,
“Just to let them know that they missed someone incredible,” Siwon shrugged,
I smiled. I admire her. It’s not easy to refuse this kind of opportunity. But she did it for pride and it’s really cool. I don’t know if I could bring myself to make this kind of decision. Thanks to Siwon, she could keep singing and earn enough money with her special salary he gave her…
Wait…
“YOU gave her a special salary?” I suddenly asked,
“Yeah…” Siwon eyes widened,
“YOU MEAN THAT…”
“He is the owner of this bar,” I turned my head and saw Taejon coming with our drinks,
“THE OWNER?”
“I’m not the owner! This bar belongs to my family!” Siwon defended,
“Still,” Taejon and I said in unison,
Siwon laughed and took a slip of his drink. Curse you rich people… I pouted and drank a bit of the Special. When the liquid touched my tongue I instantly yelped, “Argh! What’s this? It’s so bitter!” I swallowed down the whole glass of orange juice. Now I know why he said he’d bring some too…
“This is MY Special,” Siwon laughed,
“What’s in there?” I asked, cleaning my tongue with some tissue,
“A mix of bitter tea, lime juice, bitter tea, water, bitter tea, and sake,” Taejon said,
“Why so much bitter tea?” I cried,
“Ask him,” Taejon pointed at Siwon,
“Why so much bitter tea?” I asked again to Siwon,
“One day I was so mad…” he started,
“…That he burst in the bar and started putting random thing in a cup and just drank it like that,” Taejon finished,
“It was as disgusting as the hard day I had, so I just swallowed it, like I was eating all my anger and sadness up!” Siwon said, “So I called it the Special, my Special,”
“HIS Special,” Taejon said,
“YOUR Special,” I repeated,
“Anyway, drink it all. And everything will be okay,” Siwon said,
“No way!” I pushed the glass away,
“Yes way!” Siwon pushed it back to me,
He looked at me with intense eyes, so intense that I gulped. I pinched my nose and drank the disgusting liquid in one shot. After I finished it, I finally understood why it made you feel better from the day… This is so much worst!
“Done?” Siwon asked with a smirk,
“D-Done…” I said, about to throw up,
“Another glass of juice?” Taejon asked with sorry eyes,
I nodded. I felt like my tongue was about to fall…
Siwon got up and walked to the stage. He whispered something to the singer he talked about earlier and came back to his seat.
“What did you say to her?” I asked,
“Just requested a song,” he smiled,
I tilted my head and looked at the singer,
“This is a song for miss Lee Sorin, who was not that lucky today. I understand how you feel and I know it is hard to take but… Big girls don’t cry,” she said before the music started,
Her melodious voice sang ‘Big girls don’t cry’ by Fergie. I smiled and mouthed a ‘Thank you’ to Siwon.
She is right. Big girls don’t cry.
This is a long chapter!! And I took so long to write it because I got my first writer’s block ^^
The part describing the incredible singer from the bar was my little poetic moment ^^ Cheesy I know.
Anyway. Hope you liked it.
Chu~
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