12
Am I Not Exist In This World?
Niel POV
“Oh God! What have I’ve done? I can’t continue to live like this. I just hurting both of them.’ I said to myself as I sitting on the wooden chair and stare at the full moon.
“It’s beautiful isn’t it?”
Suddenly a voice greet me makes me startle and jumps a little. Quickly I look up at the person,
“Oh! L.joe hyung. What are you doing here?” I ask him.
He sighs then sits down beside me and hugs me while making himself comfortably on the chair.
“Why? Can’t I hug my own boyfriend?” he ask while kiss my cheeks.
I blush at his words.
“A-aniyo.” I said smiling a little.
“Know what?” he asks me.
“Hmm?” I just hummed in respond.
“Under this beautiful moonlight, you look really gorgeous.” He said once again and buried his face in the crook of my neck.
I just smile and blush.
“Why do you always blushing with me? Am I that handsome to resist?” he said as he kiss my neck making me squirming.
“Y-yah! Hyung don’t do that. It’s tickle. But hey, I can’t help that right?” I ask him.
He just let out a light chuckle and hugs me even harder, squishing me in the process.
“H-Hyung! You’re gonna make my bones crushing.” I said jokingly at him.
“So what?” he raise his eyebrow at me.
“So do you want me to die?” I jokingly ask him.
“Then lets die together...” he said and pull me back makes me fall into his embrace. While he back hugged me and stare at the full moonlight.
Nothing words actually came out from our mouth. I began to bit my lips.
“Hyung I want to ask you.”
“Hmm?” he just hummed, while wrapping his arms onto my arms, makes our fingers tangle together.
“What if someday you decide that you will leave me? Or who knows, miracle doesn’t happens every times. Or if we were fated to be separated-”
I didn’t even finish my word as I feel that his grips tighten on my hands.
“No! That would never be happen. We will live happily ever after, until death separated us two.” He said.
Thinking about his words makes my heart clench and my eyes started to get blurred.
‘I’m sorry but I’ve cheat on you.’ I said on my mind as I look down and let my tears fall down, landed on his arms.
“Niel? You’re crying?” he asks.
“Please. Hyung. Please, don’t move, let’s stay like this, please.” I plead him, trying to ease the pain in my heart.
I don’t know how I ended up waking this morning, finding myself tugged perfectly on my bed. I swift my position and found L.joe sleeping soundly beside me. I chuckle and slowly get up from the bed, trying not to make any sound, afraid that he would wake up. After I successfully get up, I rubbed my face and yawn shamelessly while scratching my tummy a little. That’s my habit.
After getting myself cleaned up, I walk out to the living room and found Capji couple sitting on the couch being all lovey dovey. I smile at them and walks inside the kitchen to look at the schedule.
“Ahh, is it, me today?” I ask Chunji hyung,
He nods his head.
“Yup, it’s you sleepyhead, now go and wake up Changjo to go with you,”
“But Chunji hyung, does it necessary?” I ask him.
“What? You don’t want it?” he asks me.
I shake my head and walk towards Changjo room，I stood there almost 5 minutes, after getting no respond; I grab the door knob and twisted it open before dashed inside the room. I look inside and found him nowhere.
“Changjo yah, where are you?” I yelled but nothing greets me back.
Suddenly my eyes caught something on the bedside table; it was orange in color and has a little stripe. It wrote ‘Changjo’s Personal’ maybe his diary.
I pick it up and read it, for the first page I was shocked to see my picture with him. I keep reading it,
“So, it was a continue diary.”
15. August.2012…
Dear diary, it’s me Jonghyun aka Changjo. Sooo, what’s up^^ heehee, guesses I miss writing on this. But I just want to talk one thing with you; do you know what tomorrow is? I’m waiting… I give you 3 second to answer me. 3...2...1... ddaengg!! Time up, hahah you’re loser, anyways what I want to tell is, do you know my crush? Of course you know it! I’ve been telling you since I was debuted,
So, once again. This time also about him. Anyways tomorrow is his birthday. What should I give to him? Should I give a bouquet of flower? Nahh... That would be too girly, a ring maybe? But what with the ring, it’s not me and hyung have any relation or what, urmmm…what should I give?
Help me, huuhuu…ahaaa, I know, he love Mickey-
“Hyung!! What are you doing?” he said and snatched the book from my hand.
“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to read it. I’m sorry.” I said to him as I look down at the floor.
He let out a huff and locks the book.
“So, what’s brought you here inside my room?” he ask me as he place the book safely.
“Urn, I just want to ask you to get out to the market and buy some groceries because I need it to make the lunch and our breakfast.” I said.
“Okay let me get dressed first.” He said as he stood proudly in front of me.
I regret when I look at him, he just wearing the towel wrapped around his waist, his body is dripping with the little drop of water that was running down from his wet hair. I then quickly avert my eyes as I look at him from head to toes.
“I-I’ll be waiting for you at the living room, make it quick don’t be late.” I said quickly at him and dashed out from the room. Before I left, I can hear him laughing at me.
While we were shopping for the groceries, my phone vibrated. I take it out and look at the sender.
‘Hey meet me up tonight. I have something to tell you.’
I sigh.
“Again?” I said out aloud. Not noticing that Changjo was stood beside me.
“What hyung?”
“Oh? Nothing. Nothing at all. I just saying something that not important.” I nervously say at him.
“Oh...” his face showed curiosity but I just smile at him.
We walked inside the shop and buy many things.
“Hey hyung! Why don’t we eat first, so that we won’t be hungry when get back at the dorm.” He suggests.
“Oh! Okay. Let’s stay here.” I said to him as he dragged me to the nearest café and ordered some breakfast.
After we finished eating and chatting about some stuff. We quickly go back at the dorm.
Nobody POV
“Niel hyung!!!! L.joe hyung is bullying me!!” Ricky yelled out from the living room. Quickly Niel peeked his head out from the kitchen, while wearing the pink apron.
“Hyung? What are you doing?” he asks L.joe as he held up a spatula.
“I’m just playing around with him. Why?” L.joe asks acting all innocently as he had Ricky on his death head lock.
“That’s not playing, that’s killing him.” Niel said as he put his hands on his hips.
“Aww…you’re saved because of him, my baby so sweet, now I want to play with you.” L.joe said as his release Ricky from his head lock, and skipped happily towards the kitchen where Niel was.
“What are you cooking?” he asks as he place himself cutely on the island and smiling innocently.
“I’m cooking.” Niel say.
“And you Changjo?” he ask the younger as Changjo keep silent when L.joe stepped inside the kitchen.
L.joe seemed so unaware of the situation but Niel fully aware of the situation, with that he quickly spoke with Changjo.
“Changjo yah, can you chopped for me the carrots?” Niel ask as he handed the younger a bowl of washed carrots.
Annoying by the younger ignorance, L.joe ask him once again.
“Yah!! Changjo! I’m asking you a question here.”
“I’m chopping the carrots, can’t you see?” Changjo reply to him.
“tsk, such a brat.” L.joe scoffed at him and looks towards Niel.
"It must be really good right since you’re the one who cooks it." L.joe said while smiling.
Niel look down and smile shyly at L.joe.
"Awww, isn’t my baby is adorable?" L.joe ask while keep teasing Niel.
The tension between the three of them was so big. L.joe seemed so oblivious about the situation they were in now, Changjo can’t do anything beside he watch how his long crush is happily chatting with his boyfriend and that’s makes his heart crushing and it was full with pain.
"Hyung, do you have anything that you want me to do?" he ask Niel.
Niel quickly spin around at him and smile,
"I don’t think that there’s anymore job that you need to do." Niel say while smiling at him.
"Arasso, then I leave you two okay." With that Changjo take off his apron and put it on the table before walking out from the room. Leaving the two at the kitchen.
"C-Changjo ah…" he trail off, looking at his dongsaeng backside.
"it’s okay, isn’t that you still have me right?" L.joe said as he takes Niel hands makes it tangle with him, while squeezing it a little.
Niel look at him and then smile.
Deep inside his heart, he knows exactly what the reason is, maybe he makes Changjo hurt.
"I’m sorry…" he whispered but luckily L.joe didn’t hear it.
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