NOW PLAYING: LONELY by 2ne1

(You should play the song while reading this..)

“I lied to you. Not just once, but many times before and after  you had amnesia.”

He lowered his head and I couldn’t see his reaction.

“My first lie to you was about being gay. Jiyong, I’m not gay, I was just raised like this by appa. But never was I attracted to girls romantically.”

I was trying to see his reaction but he kept his head lowered. I continued…

“When you told me about your plan: we getting married and when we find the person we really love, we’ll set each other free. My heart broke into pieces, before, I didn’t understand. But now I know. I have already liked you since then. ”

Then I started tearing up…

“Jiyong-ie, do you remember that kiss? My first kiss. You said I was disgusted because you thought I was gay.” Tears were coming faster…

“I-I wasn’t disguted. I was so happy that every single bit of me felt that kiss! It felt… real.”

I stopped for a second to take a deep breath.

“You know what that kiss made me feel? That I love you! So much that I can’t lose you! That if one day you decide to leave with Cloe, I would cut my throat. That if you ask me to leave, I would jump off a cliff! That losing you would mean losing my life. That I love you more than anything in this world.”

I couldn’t control my emotions anymore… I collapsed on the ground, breaking out in tears. I kept repeating .. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

I was surprised when he spoke up.

Now playing: STUPID LIAR by BIGBANG (play it..)

“J-jiane-ie.” He raised his head.

His eyes were overflowing with tears… He helped me up.

“I didn’t think this was the right time for this but…” he looked up to stop his tears while his hand reached for his pocket.

He brought out a box. The one for a ring.

My tears fell faster. I didn’t know I had this much liquid in my body.

“J-jiane. Yesterday… y-yesterday, I r-remembered. I remembered everything.”

He kept on looking up because he couldn’t control his tears. He was sobbing.

He opened the box. Inside it was a sliver ring.

My heart fell. I didn’t know if what to feel. Right now my mind and my heart aren’t working right… They’re not helping me right now.

“I bought this yesterday. Before remembering everything. I slipped down the stairs. My head hit the ground. I woke up at the hospital and saw this in my pocket.”

He took a deep breath.

“Do you know how I felt? It felt worse than hell! I’ve never even been to hell but I know nothing would hurt more than this!”

I was dying infront of him.

He pulled my arm, gripped it so tight but I didn’t feel anything. My body was numbed because if it added up to the pain my heart felt, it would be too much.

“Jiane, do you know how I feel? I-I don’t! I love you! I love you more than anything! Than everything! But I hate you! More than I hate myself for being such a PABO! ”

Why can’t I faint right now? Or better, why can’t I just die right now? I can’t take it! It hurts too much.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do. But regardless of anything that has happened, remember this. A KWON NEVER TURNS HIS BACK ON HIS WORD.”

He turned around and walked away leaving me dying on the ground.

Omma, Appa, Harabeoji, eottoke? I didn’t know this would happen. I didn’t want t hurt him. I didn’t want to hurt myself. Eottoke? Eottoke?