Chapter 9 – Go Away

 

 

             I almost couldn’t believe myself as I continued down the route to my house. It wasn’t very long but it was still quite a walk. Jongin was sweet… but why do I think I'm going to just hurt him. I know I'm not a player or anything like that, but I think he deserves someone who will love him—no! I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself. I can do everything I want for him; that is if I come out of my shyness. My thoughts were cut when a figure stood directly in my path and blocked my way.

 

            “Saeli?” I muttered softly below my breath.

            “Jiyeon” she smiled, but her eyes looked so dark and uninviting.

            “What do you want?” I asked squaring my jaw.

            “Hah~ what do I need? I have everything anyways” she smirked darkly. I rolled my eyes and balled my fists. What? She didn’t destroy me enough, now she has to rub salt on my open wound?

            “Then can you move? You’re in my way” I spoke through clenched teeth.

            “Take this as a warning Jung Jiyeon” her tone changed into one of annoyance.

            “A warning? Oh great, I would love to hear this one” I snorted.

            “I wouldn’t be laughing if I were you” she began.

            “Then please, go on” I said blankly.

            “Kim Jongin” she shot me a glare.

            “What about him?” I asked trying not to seem too interested.

            “Stay away from him” she hissed.

            “Tch. Trust me…” I stepped closer to her.

            “I… won’t” I glared stiffly at her.

           

            “Don’t be so confident. Just listen to me if you don’t want to see him hurt” she continued.

            “Hurt? You want to see hurt?” I hissed and lifted my hand to grab the back of her hair, roughly pulling on it.

            “LET GO!” she screamed.

            “Stay away from me and stay away from Jongin” I pulled her hair toughly.

            “You !” she screamed and pulled my hand away.

            “Look, Saeli, you had your way, but I swear, hurt anyone I care about and I will ing rip you apart” my fist clenched tightly in my hand.

            “Tch. Do you see those guys behind me?” she asked and I took a brief glance at the heavily dressed gang members behind her.

            “What about them?” I asked with a lifted eyebrow.

            “If you don’t listen to me they will make sure your precious Jongin is never able to walk properly again” she threatened.

            “And you expect me to be scared? Of the likes of you? Saeli, please, keep whatever little dignity you have and get the out of my face” I scoffed and walked off.

            “You’re making a huge mistake” she growled.

            “Don’t even try” I rolled my eyes and dashed off.

 

            Anger boiled in my blood. Who the hell did she think she was? Threatening me about Jongin? Does she want to die? Tch. I'm not afraid of her or her stupid gang… correction, she obviously wants to get me angry and trust me, and no one likes an angry Jiyeon.

            Huffing to myself, I hurried home, trying to calm myself. I hate being angry, its so frustrating… why? Just; why? I’m usually a calm person but get me on my wrong side and I can assure you, you’d wish you weren’t born. Saeli was the perfect example of annoying and one way to upset my life. Her audacity is just amazing really. Who the hell does she think she is to threaten me? Of all people…me? Really? Sometimes I wonder if she was even a friend… knowing my past—correction, listening to things that I’ve been through before yet she still dares to threaten me?

            I just have to make one phone call and she’ll be completely ruined, did she think a stupid threat with some lame- gang was going to break me? Hmm. I probably sound overconfident but if she dares land a finger on Jongin, I will split her pretty ugly in two. I swear.

 

 

            Morning had already approached yet I hadn’t slept at all. Why you ask? I couldn’t stop thinking of what might happen if something happens to Jongin… oh god, why must I think about this? I am Jung Jiyeon—no, I could’ve used that line before now but not anymore. I’ve thrown away that life! I promised I wouldn’t fight anymore, I promised I would’ve changed. I’m not who I was a few years ago, I’m just Jung Jiyeon… just… Jiyeon. My heartbeat sped up as I tracked down the sidewalk to school; I was dreading this afternoon, I would have to meet Jongin, and my poor heart won’t be able to take it. He’s too perfect.

            School was long again as usual and every moment was spent on memories that scarred me. Even if I did explain myself to him, he wouldn’t be able to understand—or worst, I wouldn’t be able to accept me. I hate this! I hate myself! I swear I’m cursed! No one will love me; I have no friends, no boyfriend… I’m barely living in my house… I’m not even my parents’ child, neither am I a good sister. Worthless, that’s exactly what I was. I belong on the streets and I’m cruel. I could never hurt Jongin like that. No, I must leave while it’s still early. I’m not even going to explain, it’ll be better if he hates me.

 

            “I’m quitting” I said to the receptionist.

            She sent me a confused look.

            “The Dance Class, my name is Jung Jiyeon. Please remove me from the class” I said to her.

            “If you don’t mind me asking, why are you quitting?” she asked.

            “Personal issues” I said as she nodded in understanding before typing something and bowing to me.

            “Good day then” she smiled and I nodded before turning to leave.

 

            I’m not even going to the park, I can’t, and he would find me there. I hurried home and scattered to my room ignoring the greetings from my mom and numerous calls of my name. After I locked the door, I plopped on my bed and groaned. Life is unfair. F..k this .

            When I woke up, it was already midnight and I was sure everyone was already fast asleep. My body hurt because of the awkward position I slept in and my school uniform was all crinkled and totally uncomfortable. Changing into something normal, I stretched my arms and quietly made my way downstairs for something to eat. As I put on the lights and entered the kitchen I found a plate with covered food and small note addressed to me. I read it with a guilty smile and heated the food before walking over to the living room and putting on the tv. My life is all messed up.

            When I finished eating I went back upstairs and grabbed a pen and piece of paper. Even if I can’t say I feelings out loud, at least I can write them… or at least try to. I read somewhere that if you are troubled about something/someone, write a letter to them and then rip it up afterwards, it helps.

Well… here goes nothing…

 

 

                        Dear Jongin,