Chapter 8 – Always Been You

 

 

            I got home practically early and for once my mom was just relaxing. I walked over and sat next to her on the couch as she watched one of her famous KDramas. I remained silent until the show came to an end and she turned to me with a bright smile.

            “How was your day, dear?” she asked sweetly. I forced a smile and shrugged.

            “It was ok, you?” I asked.

            “Eh, so-so, same old” she laughed.

            “Mom” I began and she looked at me.

            “What is it dear?” she asked noticing my expression.

            “What do you think of Kai?” I asked.

            “Who?” she stared at me confused.

            “—I mean, Jongin” I quickly corrected and mental face palmed.

            “Oh, he’s a cute boy” She smiled while nodding.

            “Do you like him?” I asked.

            “Why? Do you like him?” she asked.

            “Hmm, not sure. I don’t know what to do” I frowned.

            “The best thing is to follow your heart” she smiled and rubbed my back caringly.

            “But take your brain with you as well” we both laughed at the last part.

            “Thanks” I said before running up to my room.

 

            Maybe I should tell him… but I'm so nervous! Gah! I'm so confused. I sat on my bed trying to process everything that has happened and so far I know one thing. I’ve never felt happier being with Jongin. And that was a fact. He has made me feel just the slightest bit special. Even though he looks rough and rowdy, he’s actually quite childish and patient. He’s understanding and lives based on himself. He’s almost the perfect opposite of me. Even though I'm a caged bird he’s the key to the cage that sets me free. I want to see him, and be with him. But most of all, I want to see the world with him. He’s so different I sometimes get lost by the mention of his name: Jongin, that’s why I could never say it out loud and why I prefer calling him Kai, because Jongin seems a little too intimate.

 

 

            The next day after school I hurried to the dance studio, my brain crowded with thoughts on how to confess to him. He’s pretty straight forward but I’m a little complicated. AHHHHH! Molla! Opening the door I was completely knocked out of my wits by the sight of 11 beautiful creatures in the room. Perfect faces and flawless beauty; damn, my eyes cannot handle the perfection! Shielding my eyes I groaned and looked away.

            “Oh, Miss are you ok?” one asked.

            “Andwae! Don’t come near me!” I shouted and stepped back.

            Immediately they all sent confused faces to one another and the one who came over to me stepped back immediately.

            “Yah, what are you doing?” a recognisable voice said as he walked over to me.

            “Oh god Kai, why are there so many beautiful people in the room?” I asked standing in front him to block my view but I still got a few glances.

            “Wh-what?” he asked with a snort as he turned to look at them.

            “Beautiful?” he scoffed.

            “Yes” I said staring at him blankly.

            “If they’re beautiful what does that make me?” he asked with a slight pout. Don’t! I might die of a heart attack!

            “Ugly” I said bluntly.

            “Jung Jiyeon” he glared.

            “Yes?” I asked innocently.                       

 

 

 

            “Guys, I’d like you to meet Jung Jiyeon” he said turning to them as they formed a somewhat bent line.

 

            “Anneyong” they waved and greeted with a smile.

            “Oh so this is Jiyeon”

            “She’s kind of cute”

            “Aww, they look so adorable”

            “Why was she so frightened earlier?”

            “Jongin has some explaining to do later”

            “She looks a bit scary too”

            “Does she speak Mandarin?”

            “I wonder if she can cook”

 

            So many questions and phrases were directed towards me as they stared at me intently. Oh god, I think I might faint. Of course I looked as though I was angry with the world or something.

 

            “Stop it guys, you’re scaring her away” Jongin managed to say, pushing them away from me.

            “Hi! I’m Luhan” the one who tried approaching me earlier introduced.

            “I’m Jiyeon” I said with small bow.

            “We know. Trust me, we know” he said with small wink earning a punch from Jongin.

            “Yah! What was that for?” he groaned in pain.

            “He doesn’t want us to let his girlfriend know how much he talks about her” another with a slight lisp spoke up from behind as Jongin turned to give him a menacing glare and he quickly hid behind a short boy with really wide eyes.

            “Now, now, let’s not embarrass our Jonginnie in front his one and only true love” another popped up.

            “Joonmyun hyung!!!!” Jongin whined while covering his face with his hands.

 

            “Um…” I opened my mouth to speak when all eyes landed on me and I immediately shut up nervously.

            “What is it Jiyeon-ssi?” the one named Joonmyun asked.

            “What happened to dance class?” I asked.

            “They went home” Jongin said.

            “Again?” I asked.

            “Because I wanted you to meet these bimbos here but that wasn’t a very good idea now was it?” he glared at them.

             “Hey! That’s mean!” one with slightly imperfect Korean spoke up.

            “Ok guys. You all can leave now! BYE!!!” he pushed them—forced them out of the room as they left reluctantly.

 

            When they were out of sight and not secretly hiding anywhere he walked over to me and sighed in relief.

            “Shall we dance then?” he asked with a small smile.

            “Mhm” I hummed and walked over to put down my bag.

            As I bent to fix my bag in the corner next to his, I pulled off my jacket and folded it neatly before resting it on top of my bag. Sadly, because everything in this world doesn’t like me, it had to tumble down and fall next to his bag—on top his bag actually. I have no idea how the hell that happened, but anyways, I carefully picked it up and shifted his bag properly next to mine. Turning back to my bag I found his open widely. I was never someone to invade other people’s things or whatever and I would not start anytime soon, but a glint of red caught my eye. Furrowing my eyebrows, I tilted my head to see what it was. Inside his bag was none other than a red rose. Red rose? Why does Jongin have a red rose? Why does he even have a rose? Valentines’ day is a while from now, isn’t it?

            Unless—no! there’s no way, those roses couldn’t have been from him… could it?  They were similar, just like the ones I received.  Looking behind me, I watched him and tried picturing him giving me a rose… no way—he doesn’t look like the romantic type… pssh. I’ll just ignore it for now and pretend I never saw it. Walking over to meet him on the dance floor, I folded my arms before speaking.

           

            “You left your bag open by the way” I said nonchalantly.

            “Oh, ok” he shrugged it off while looking back at the corner.

           

            I continued to stare at him as he stretched. So many things wondered through my thoughts. Was it even possible for a human being to look like an angel? His hair, his eyes… his lips… everything… had me captivated. Surely I must be out of my mind, I’m standing here watching this beauty spin me around his finger with a simple smile… or worst… by just looking at him I feel as though I’ve been touched by a hint of good luck and my heart drums in my chest. I don’t know what love is. I never have, even though I’ve seen others in love, I always brush it aside. Thinking, I could never be in that state. There is no one for me to love and no one to love me. Why?

            “Take a picture, it’ll last longer” he smirked as he caught me staring. Chewing on my lips I rolled my eyes and glared.

            “Whatever” I mumbled.

            “You’re cute when you’re grumpy” he laughed.

            “Yeah well I’m about to get f..king adorable” I scoffed and looked away.

            “Pretty girls shouldn’t curse” he said walking over to me.

            “Yeah well, nothing is said for ugly ones” I said.

            “All girls are pretty, they do things to make them ugly” he said once more.

            “Then I must be hideous” I scoffed and turned to step away from him but he seized be in my spot. His hand found itself firmly around my wrist as he stood calmly. I turned to give him a confused look but was greeted by a strict glare. For a second, he almost scared me. Almost.

           

            “Why?” he began.

            “Why what?” I asked unsure of his change in behaviour.

            “Why are you so insecure? What do I have to do to make you understand that you don’t have to live up to the likes of people?” he controlled his volume.

            “You wouldn’t understand” I managed to say without meeting his gaze.

            “I’m willing to” he said softly.

            I remained silent.

            “Jiyeon, I meant what I said that day.” He continued.

            I listened quietly.

            “You may think I'm joking, but I'm not. I really do like you and I like you for you, I’m not asking you to change. I don’t care about your so-called best friend, what matters is you. It’s always been you” he breathed.

            “You still don’t believe me?” he asked and pulled me into him.

            “I—“ I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out.

            “Does nothing affect you? It affects me—no, you affect me. You are the reason I'm able to smile again” he said softly.

            “What? I don’t understand” I stared at him confused.

            “Remember that guy you helped in the park about 2 years ago, who was beaten up badly” he asked.

            I thought hard for a long while. A guy? I helped? But I don’t remember anyone… scratching my head I tried to recall everything that happened about two years ago when it struck me.

Oh yes, it was my first day in the neighbourhood and everyone was at home unpacking; but me? I never liked worked so I decided to slip away and take a walk. As I continued down my street passed the park near my house but after a while I got lost and just decided to stay there. It was barely 5 in the afternoon and the bench looked lonely so I decided; what the heck? The people were enjoying themselves while some got ready to leave. I on the other hand was simply taking in the scenery and trying to calm myself. I loved the positioning of the bench; it was directly below a large Cherry-Blossom and a few metres from the street light. Opposite the park, on the other side of the road was a small restaurant shop and a nearby homemade ice cream parlour.

            The atmosphere had me smiling and I forgot about life for the time. As I looked around aimlessly, the sudden greeting of a limping figure stumbling a few metres from me caught my attention. He was bleeding and looked as though he was in so much pain. I hurried over to help him up but his legs gave up on him and he fell; face first on the side walk. Gasping in horror, I panicked slightly before trying to get him up. After a few failed attempts, I managed to drag him over to the park bench and hoist him up and into a sitting position. Then I fixed him and hurried across to get him something to drink.

            I didn’t remember much but all I remember was the both of us just sitting there in silence as the sky fell into night. I was feeling bad to leave him but he’d manage to call someone to pick him up and after he left I did as well with the help of Google maps. Sadly, I hadn’t seen his face because his hair laid messily over his eyes and blood was leaking everywhere. I wanted to help him but it would’ve just been awkward.

 

            “Yes, I remember… why?” I asked confused.

            “Well, that guy was me” he said.

            I felt my jaw drop so low it was sure to hit the ground.

            “B-but—h-how—you?” I stuttered as I processed what he’d just said.

            “My girlfriend left me for someone in a gang and he beat me up—but that’s beside the point; I swore angels were a myth until I met you” he said with a small smile causing me to cringe from the cheesiness.

            “Please don’t” I face palmed.

            “It’s true, I just fell in love with your kindness” he smiled.

            “All I did was help you up on a bench… really” I stated bluntly.

            “You make it sound so unromantic” he sighed.

            “Because I am…” I chuckled slightly.

            “That’s ok, I can be romantic for the both of us” he smirked. Clearing my throat I looked away.

            “Stop! That’s so corny!” I whined.

            “I wasn’t sure if you were a beautiful angel or a y devil, but now that I'm close I see heaven in your eyes.” He continued.

            “Yahh!!” I groaned.

            “Honestly though, where do you hide your wings?” he asked seriously.

            “Kim Jongin!” I groaned as his cheesiness filled my ears.

            “I haven’t even touched you and you’re already screaming my name” he smirked.

            “Oh god!” I inhaled deeply.

            “You know you like it” he laughed.

            “No!” I groaned.

            “Sure, keep denying it” he smirked.

            “I don’t feel to dance anymore” I pouted.

            “Your place or mine?” he asked before shooting that famous smirk.

            “You have a death wish don’t you?” I asked as he laughed.

 

 

            We walked down the sidewalk in silence and I didn’t have much to say. His confession kept replying in my brain, like a record stuck on replay. Shaking my head I tried to get it out but no, even in my memory he’s just as stubborn! Dammit! Chewing on my lips I found myself thinking about his lips and the so called Ferris wheel. What if we did go on the ferris wheel that day… hm… maybe next time—wait! What am I saying! I don’t want to kiss him… no way… ok I lied, maybe a short peck… yes? My mind was so occupied I hadn’t realised we stopped walking and Jongin was almost laughing and I just stood there blankly.

            “What?” I asked confused.

            “Nothing, you’re just cute” he laughed.

            “Why’d we stop here?” I asked looking on at the park.

            “So I could give you this” he said before pulling out the red rose from his bag and handing it to me. I stared at the rose with wide eyes. Why did he…? Wait, does this mean he is the person or not? Maybe he just bought it for me today because he confessed and whatnot… or maybe he just—

            My thoughts were interrupted when I felt something perfectly soft press against my cheeks. Did he just kiss me?