Did you ever know my heart?
Love Game
I looked at my left hand and it felt surreal to be someone’s fiancée. I still wore my couple ring on my right hand because it would feel so weird to take it off after wearing it for so long. My omma grabbed my hand.
- Ah, it’s so pretty! Eun-Mi, I’m so happy for you.
- So have you talked anything about the wedding? As usual my appa wanted to get done with the practical things.
- I just want to get married as fast as possible. Seung-Hyun smiled and took my hand.
- I’d like at least a few months to plan…
- Can’t we just plan quickly, get married, go on a honeymoon then live together happily for the rest of our days?
I sighed.
- Yeah, we just quickly plan a ceremony. All you need to look at is rings and a dress then me and Seung-Hyun’s omma can invite the guests and get somewhere to have the ceremony.
Seung-Hyun and my omma started to talk about a date that would fit them and was early but not too early. It felt like no one listened to what I had to say and the fact that it was my wedding didn’t matter much. My eyes burned with tears but I held it in.
- So what do you think, Eun-Mi? Three weeks from now? Your omma will fix catering and then you can buy a dress this week or so. All you need to do is show up, than BAM we’re married!
All I have to do is show up? What was this? Some kinda surprise party?
- This is really not what I want…
- Wae? It’s so convenient since I don’t have much time.
- I don’t want to have a convenient wedding.
- Why are you being like this, Eun-Mi? Don’t you want to get married?
- No, I don’t. I don’t want to get married if this is the way it’s going to be done.
I couldn’t hold my tears anymore and just got up and walked out. I heard how Seung-Hyun followed after me. I quickly slipped my feet into my ballerinas leaving him behind when he quickly tried to put on his sneakers. I was so angry I walked quick without a destination.
- Eun-Mi!
I ignored him and walked faster.
- EUN-MI WAIT!
- GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE. I really don’t want to talk to you right now!
I started to run and I heard how he stopped following me.
- EUN-MI, LET’S TALK ABOUT THIS AND WORK IT OUT!
With tear filled eyes I quickly ran to the person who could comfort me. I knocked on Min-Hee’s door.
- Eun-Mi, what’s wrong?
I just fell into her embrace and cried on her shoulder.
Seung-Hyun’s POV
I’m such an idiot. I’d been calling Eun-Mi for hours but she had her phone off. I was so excited to get married that I didn’t think of the fact that she probably had been dreaming and planning her wedding since she was a kid.
“Let’s just hurry up and get married!”
Agh! Did I really say that?! It’s like saying, let’s hurry up and get some lunch. I’d only get married once and here I am trying to rush it just because my schedule is tight. I tried calling her again but like I expected there was no answer.
“Eun-Mi, I’m so sorry, I acted like a fool. Please forgive me, I’ll be better and think about you more. I love you so please don’t be mad and leave me.”
When the thought hit me of her never returning my composure broke down. I cried so hard I was shaking. I could barely breathe. I fell into my bed hugging my pillow trying to slow the crying down. It only ended with me falling asleep.
--
My whole body felt empty and numb when I woke up. My hands quickly search for my phone.
“You have no new messages”
It felt like it stared at me mocking me for being so stupid.
I dialed her number.
- Hello? She sounded like she just woke up.
- It’s me…
She didn’t reply.
- I’m sorry…
Still no answer.
- Eun-Mi, please say something…
- I…
My heart stopped as I heard her voice.
- I’m really tired, Seung-Hyun. Just leave me alone for a while so it doesn’t become worse…
- How could I possibly leave you alone?! Tears started to fall from my eyes.
She didn’t say anything.
- Eun-Mi, you’re my life, what am I going to do without you?!
- I-I’m sorry, I just need time.
She hung up and once again I found myself trying to dry my never ending tears.
Eun-Mi POV
I laid in Min-Hee’s bed crying my heart out into her pillow. She gently my back.
- It’s okay, just let it out.
She repeated it over and over again making me feel calm.
- He just wanted to hurry up and do it, I said between my cries.
- He was probably just too excited…
My crying slowed down and I fell asleep exhausted from today’s events.
--
That perhaps wasn’t the best wake up call. Tears were pouring out of my eyes and I tried to muffle it as much as I could but still I woke Min-Hee up. Not being fully awake she just laid her arm around my placing my head on her shoulder.
- It’s okay, I’m here…
After I cried what felt like an eternity she got out of bed and handed me a towel.
- Here take a shower, that way you won’t know if you’re crying or if it’s the water, she said and smiled. I’ll make you something tasty for breakfast.
I smiled.
- Thank you…
- Ah, don’t worry about it, I just don’t want my bestie to be sad!
Min-Hee was right, a warm shower was what I needed. It felt like my sadness was running off of me with the water.
When I got back to her room she had put a pair of sweatpants and a warm hoodie on the bed. I smiled and got dressed. I felt so much better after eating and just hanging out with her.
The rest of the day we spent inside watching horror movies. Anything with as little romance as possible. I crawled up next to Min-Hee.
- Thank you for putting up with me…
- Don’t be like that, don’t ever cry alone, you did right coming here.
I checked my inbox and saw a text from Seung-Hyun.
“Eun-Mi, I’m so sorry, I acted like a fool. Please forgive me, I’ll be better and think about you more. I love you so please don’t be mad and leave me.”
“Seung-Hyun, I really miss you… But my heart is telling me to stay away. Can’t you come and catch me again?”
I looked at it for a while trying to collect the courage to send it. I sighed and erased it. When did love become so hard?
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