we miss all of u ^^

Seungri in a breath and opened his eyes. For a brief moment, he remained lost in his dream world and he wondered why – and how – he had woken up. A lethal injection couldn't fail.

Then he took in the hospital room – and the images of his nightmare began to fade and distort. Reality seeped back in and the softest of sighs escaped his lips.

He stared at the ceiling; not wanting to know – not even caring – who might be in there with him.

His nightmare had given him something. He knew what he had to do.

Just be his brother. Seunghyun reflected on his dad's words and tried to figure out what to do with them. It all sounded so straightforward and simple, but it was neither of those things.

How could he 'just be his brother' to someone so deeply immersed in pain? So lost in self-recrimination, self-loathing and guilt? So distant to him that he didn't even want to be touched; was shying away from even the simplest gesture of affection?

How was he supposed to deal with that?

He opened his mouth to ask his dad that very question, but a soft knock at the door stalled his words. Jae Suk poked his head in – and his father excused himself.

Seunghyun barely even acknowledged either of them.

Just be his brother.

He took a deep breath and mentally steeled himself for the task that lay ahead. He might not know what to say – what to do – to get through to his younger brother but he did know one thing: His dad had been right and being a brother was what he did best.

Though he was hurting deeply from Seungri's reaction, Seunghyun vowed not to let it defeat him. Seungri could be the most stubborn person on the planet – but that was something of a family trait. He didn't often have cause to, but Seunghyun could do 'stubborn' along with the best of them – and he directed all of that stubbornness towards helping his babay brother and bringing him out the other side of this.

And the harder Seungri tried to push him away, the firmer he would stand. The term 'an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object' sprang to mind. He wondered which of those two forces was him and which was Seungri – but then decided it didn't matter; the two were interchangeable.

He would be either or he would be both. Whatever it took.

Seunghyun took a deep breath, satisfied that he had reconciled himself to the task that lay ahead; satisfied that he could do whatever he had to do.

He rubbed his eyes – suddenly crushingly aware that it had been more than twenty-four hours since he'd last slept; but he wasn't going to let that be an obstacle to him, either. He could survive on coffee – or maybe one of those caffeine-loaded fizzy drinks that had the ability to have his often hyperactive younger brother almost bouncing off the walls.

How Seunghyun longed to have that Seungri back again – even if he could be incredibly exasperating when on an energy drink high.

And then his train of thought was abruptly derailed, as a soft sigh drifted past Seungri's lips.

Standing up, he saw Seungri's eyes open; saw them focus on the ceiling.

"Seungri…" he began, fixing a smile on his face.

He never expected to be interrupted – and most especially not by Seungri himself. But that's exactly what happened:

"Tell them I'm ready, hyung," Seungri said, his eyes flitting towards his older brother and then – just as quickly – returning to stare blankly at the ceiling.

When Hyunsuk and Jae Suk return to the room, Seunghyun didn't so much as raise his head to see who the intruders might be. He stood over Seungri's bed, his hand gripping his arm.

"What do you mean, Seungri?" he asked. "What do you mean 'you're ready'?"

Hyunsuk and Jae Suk exchanged a glance – and neither of them even acknowledged the nurse when she stated that she was fetching a doctor. Instead, they both stepped closer to the bed, as Seungri spoke in a soft, sad voice:

"You can tell the police I'm ready for them."

"The police?" Seunghyun repeated, incredulously. "Seungri, you don't have to do this now."

"Yes, I do." Seungri's eyes remained resolutely affixed to the ceiling, but there was an undercurrent of pain in his voice. And, beyond that, he sounded almost scared.

Hyunsuk stepped forwards, fully intending to add his own reassurances – but a sudden, unpleasant thought stilled his tongue. Arashi was an escapee who'd re-offended – and the Attorney would surely be looking for another kidnapping and assault charge to add to his already long list of offences; and ensure his renewed prison sentence would last for the majority of the remainder of his life – if not all of it.

The only way they would be spared from further trauma, and the need for his younger son to testify at any trial, was a guilty plea.

But Arashi was a sadist and his sole aim in life was to make his family suffer. So what hope was there of that?

"Your son is fine," the doctor said. "He is still concussed, but that can be managed by rest and medication. There's no reason why he can't be discharged."

"There's every reason!" Hyunsuk tried to argue – abruptly leaving his friend, Jae Suk’s side and crossing the short distance that lay between him and the doctor. "You have done nothing but…"

And he was silenced; not by the doctor – but by his younger son:

"Let me go, dad."

But Hyunsuk, in his highly charged and emotional state, didn't hear the words: 'let me go, dad'. Instead – and he would have sworn it under oath – he heard his younger son say: 'let me go home, dad.'

So Hyunsuk decided that he could deal with the doctor later, when there wasn't so much riding on it. For now, it all had to be about Seungri.

Then his shoulders sagged, as he suddenly realised that he honestly didn't know what to do. He didn't want to take Seungri back to the family home; back to the constant and incessant reminders of his mom. That would border on cruelty – given to Seungri's fragile mental state.

But nor could he check them into a hotel – that would be just too obvious a reminder of why they weren't going home.

The only feasible, neutral venue they had was the hospital – and Seungri had said that he didn't want to stay there; regardless of whether or not the doctor could be convinced to let him.

They were trapped in a no win situation.

Seunghyun stiffened when the doctor proclaimed that his younger brother was ready to be discharged. Unlike his dad, he hadn't misheard Seungri – and those soft words had sent a chill shivering down his spine.

He waited for the inevitable protestations and arguments; after all, Seungri was clearly not ready to go anywhere. But, when none were forthcoming, he didn't waste time in confronting his dad – instead, he voiced those concerns for himself:

"He won't be cured by 'rest and medication'." Seunghyun kept his voice deliberately low; not wanting to go into detail whilst standing over Seungri's bed – and then he spun around; his sudden action forcing the female doctor to take more than one step back.

He wasn't a bully by nature but, he could be intimidating when the occasion demanded. Now was one such occasion – and the expression on his face had the doctor retreating to the back wall of the room. And that was as much distance as he was prepared to put between himself and his brother.

"What about the drugs?" He kept his voice at a whisper – but his tone was still venomous.

"Neither drug is addictive and, given the doses we're dealing with, neither will have further effect." The doctor kept her own voice hushed – a fact that surprised Seunghyun and subtly shifted his perception of her. Maybe she did care about her patients. She continued: "They will simply work their way out of his system."

Seunghyun shook his head. The words 'let me go' were seared into his brain. He just knew that Seungri hadn't been referring to the hospital. His voice had been so desperate… So lost…

He feared that he'd been referring to life itself.

"Please, doctor," Seunghyun openly begged, a pit of fear opening in his gut – so deep that he feared he might get lost in it. He'd vowed to be strong for his younger brother, but he didn't know how.

"I'm sorry," the doctor answered – and she did sound genuine. "But we don't have any reason to keep him here. And we simply don't have the beds."

'Why the hell do you want us out of here so quickly?' Seunghyun wondered and then he heard a gasp – and realised that he'd actually spoken those words aloud. He instantly recanted his previously generous change of attitude towards the doctor – there was definitely something amiss about her. The expression on her face was impossible for him to decipher – but he had clearly struck a nerve with his inadvertently voiced comment.

Looking flustered and wholly unprofessional, the doctor fled from the room. Seunghyun heard she say the words: 'discharge papers'.

He glared at the door as it closed behind her – but then hurried back to Seungri's side.

If his younger brother was going to be discharged, as was seeming increasingly likely, then he would be there for him one hundred per cent.

Fixing a smile on his face, he crossed back to Seungri's bed – behaving as though the doctor fleeing the room was a perfectly natural occurrence.

He quickly accepted that arguing with the doctor's decision – which, fundamentally, meant arguing with hospital policy – was futile.

It didn't mean he wasn't still suspicious of her. It just meant that his suspicions were nowhere near as important as his brother's welfare.

Hyunsuk turned his attention to his younger son.

Seungri's eyes were, again, closed; but this time he wasn't trying to fool them into thinking he was asleep. There was too much tension in his features and his breathing sounded as though it was forcedly regular. He could read his younger son well – and he was steeling himself; mentally preparing for the consequences of a decision he had made. Only, Hyunsuk couldn't be sure of what that decision was.

'Let me go home' – maybe that was it. The false memory of those words was the best guess that he could come up with. And, if it were true, then he could fully understand why it looked like it was hurting so much. How did you mentally prepare for such a thing?

The answer came to him before he had even consciously acknowledged the silent question: with the love and support of his family.

Now they just had to take the first step.

Everything else that was to come, they would deal with in the same way. Any potential trial and the possible need for Seungri to testify; every stumbling block along the way – because there were bound to be numerous and some bigger than others; every bad day and night; every scream-inducing nightmare.

They would all be overcome with the same simple solution: just by taking one step at a time.

The very first step was a simple one, especially given by the doctor on the availability of beds and the severity of his younger son injuries. Seungri wanted to go home and so they would take him home.

He opened his mouth to convey that to his younger son – and then closed it abruptly. In order to go home, Seungri would need some clothes. But when he'd been brought in, he'd been wearing that awful prison jumpsuit. That had been taken away as evidence – and Hyunsuk wouldn't care if he never saw it again.