Forbidden

Slave Heart

 

Author's P.V.

Onew walks up to her first...

"Ou...Minhyo...ssi?" he nervously questions her, but she is still frozen.

       

Onew's P.V.

When I saw her, my mind went blank....why...she is....black! I really wasn't expecting that! Not that i have anything against it, in fact after i got over the shock, I was really excited and curious. So i walked up to her first.

"Ou...Minhyo...ssi?"

She didn't seem to hear me. She was staring straight ahead...like she was looking at a ghost.
 

"Ou Minhyo-ssi? yeoboseyo ?"

Minhyo's P.V.

The plane landed and i started dragging my carry on luggage. Ugh it was unforgivably heavy! I finally got out of the gate and the first person i see is Onew. He sees me then taps key. Key sees me and smiles smiley and gets the others attention. Then a tall boy turns around to face me. The moment i laid eyes on him, my heart plummeted to my feet, and my legs and arms became dead weight.

"Ou...Minhyo...ssi?"

I was frozen

"Ou Minhyo-ssi? yeoboseyo ?"

Forcing myself to blink, i turned my head to look at the person next to me. Onew...

"n..neh, annyeonghaseyo ..." I spoke awkwardly, my breathing couldn't seem to come right.

 

Minho's P.V.

We were all talking, then all of a sudden everyone was looking forward. I turned around, and my heart stopped. My breathing came hard, and my head was spinning.

Key: "Minho-ah...are you okay? You are shaking..."

Was i shaking? I can't seem to remember. All i could do was nod. If i tried to speak i knew nothing would come out.

"Ou...Minhyo...ssi?"

Was she staring at me? She is....she is staring at me! Instantly i felt hot and embarrassed. I must look crazy...

"n...neh, annyeonghaseyo ..."

Though i was trying to compose myself, the sweet flustered sound of her voice made me feel faint. How could she be so beautiful, and sound like an Angel? I hadn't even noticed she was African American. So beautiful...her eyes are so beautiful...her voice is so beautiful....so beautiful...i...i can't breath!

 

Key's P.V.

All of a sudden Minho was clutching my arm. he looked sick, what was wrong with him!

"Yah! Minho-ah! Yah! whats wrong with you?!"

He was staring at Minhyo. Was he afraid of her? Because she is African American?

"Onew hyung! Something is wrong with Minho!"

"N..no...i..i am fine.."

"NO you are NOT! You can barley breath! Onew hyung, i will take him to sit down. The rest of you can take Minhyo to get her bags."

I took Minho to one of the food courts in the airport. He sat down while i got him a cup of water.

"Minho-ah are you okay? What was that about?"

He drank the water slowly

"N..nothing. I'm fine."

"That back there was not fine! You scared me half to death! I thought you would faint! Is it...by any chance...are you scared of her?"

He shook his head and looked sick again.

"Then are you sick?" I stretched over the table and felt his forehead. He was a bit warm and sweaty.

"Okay Mister the moment we get home you are taking some medicine and going to bed. NO GAMES!!"

"alasseoyo.." I stared at him wide eyed...

WHAT!! He didn't even get mad when i said no games?! Oh no...he must really not be feeling well...

 

Minho's P.V.

Key Hyung got me some water and i sat down.

"Minho-ah are you okay? What was that about?"

"N...nothing. I'm fine."

The moment i left her, my body felt empty, like i left my life source behind...I know what this...Oh my God...I love her...my throat began to swell. I can't, we are forbidden to fall in love. But I...Is this love at first sight? This is trouble. I can't let them know, the Director might find out, and that will be the end of my career. No...I can't love her...I can't. Just then I herd Key Hyung ask....

"Is it...by any chance...are you scared of her?"

No...( I shook my head) Hyung its the total opposite...I'm done for...

"Then are you sick?"

He felt my forehead I must have been warm because then he told me the moment we got home i was to go to bed. He even said no games. Unbeknownst to him that was the furthest thing from my mind. To save complication i motionlessly agreed...

"alasseoyo..."

 

 

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whateveritis #1
Chapter 19: did you did that pic?
killthemall #2
Chapter 19: this is pretty good and i'm touch!
SweetMya
#3
I'm in with this story it's so good. i hope you finish it. update soon PLEASE!
Rini6189
#4
The interaction between Taemin and Minhyo is cute. A man dressed up as a clown and practically screaming his head off as he chased after them is a hilarious scenario to witness. Minhyo's got a point about Taemin not understanding her situation since he had never fallen in love before. The pain that both Minho and Minhyo are experiencing is really depressing. It looks like they are really in need of emotional/moral support from the people around them. If only there's something that the rest of the SHINee members could do to help. Jonghyun's the only one oblivious to the reality of the situation--being happy-go-lucky without a care in the world. First, they'd have to reveal the truth to him. Minho does look like he's torn fron the inside-out here. Since Minho had been cold towards Minhyo since the beginning, it's hard for her to get over that and truly accept him with her heart. So, this is the price he pays for mistreating her. Still, her love for him won't go away. It did prevent her from letting him kill himself by heavily drinking. Hopefully, things would work out between the two of them with time. This is really depressing to read. It does hurt to see them suffering so much.
Rini6189
#5
Please don't take this the wrong way. I don't mean to bash your writing this way. It's just constructive criticism given to improve the quality of your writing. I don't have a problem with your writing style. Some of the mistakes did throw me off track. <br />
<br />
Ch. 18 mistakes:<br />
<br />
1. Instead I put some meat in Minho's plate.<br />
Correction: Instead, I put some meat on Minho's plate.<br />
<br />
2. It's awkward to see the phrase "messagine my cheeks." The correct verb to use is "massaging." <br />
<br />
3. I looked at him distress.<br />
* The perposition "with" is missing" before "distress."<br />
<br />
4. Taemin skipped to the song TRICK by Girls Generation on the CD player and turned to me expectedly.<br />
Correction: expectantly<br />
<br />
5. Loosing my patients I got off her bed and pulled her out of the bathroom<br />
Correction: Losing my patience<br />
<br />
6. The pain and jealousy were thrashing in my veins each trying to take the dominate role<br />
Correction: dominant<br />
<br />
7. Taking a deep breathe I broke into a sprint.<br />
Correction: Taking a deep breath, I broke into a sprint.<br />
* "Breathe" is a verb.
Rini6189
#6
It has been a while since I last read this. Though, I haven't forgotten about the essence of this story.<br />
<br />
It's a matter of time till Jonghyun finds out the real truth behind Minho's recent behavior. He seems to be diagnosed with the condition of being lovesick. Hopefully, Minho and Minhyo would try to work things out together. It is the groups' concern when at least one of their fellow teammates isn't feeling well. They need all the support that they can get. Later, they would have a bigger problem to face: having Minho's secret revealed to the public. I wonder how their management company would handle this. It could be passed off as a rumor. There are people who stir things up through gossip to catch the interest of others.<br />
<br />
Chapter 17 mistakes:<br />
<br />
1. His whole body tensed and you looked back at Onew with nervous eyes. <br />
* It seems like the attention is drawn towards the readers where the "you" is inserted. That should've been "he" instead since Key was referring to Minho.<br />
<br />
2. Then Onew stared at me with an un-readable expression....<br />
* Generally, a hyphen is not needed between the prefix and the actual word.<br />
<br />
3. "The only way I can do that is staying as far away from you as possible."<br />
* The preposition "by" should be added before "staying."<br />
Rini6189
#7
Since Lee's out of the picture, she no longer has to deal with him and his hurtful words. I'm aware that Taemin still feels bitter towards Minho for mistreating her. Taemin truly loves and cares for Minhyo that he'd do anything just for her to be happy. The feelings that he has for Minhyo are making him overwhelmed. It seems like a curse because of the way he's suffering from it. Getting drunk doesn't help the situation at all. The problem will only go away when the person confronts it and does something about it. That's when the weight will be lifted off the shoulders. Onew's the only one who knows the truth about Minho not really being himself...up till now. It looks like Key might be able to get some answers from him. Since he's so deep in sleep, it's unlikely that he'd be waken up from his nightmare. I hope it'd be a happy ending for all of them. <br />
<br />
The words in yellow aren't easy to see, especially on a bright monitor. It does put pressure on the eyes to have to squint in order to read it. It's best not to use colors that are look very too bright.
faithimnida
#8
YAY UPDATES!!!!!!! even though this chapter was sad :( <br />
<br />
Taemin really cares about her!! It's really sweet! Both Minho and Taemin worry about Minhyo! Buuuuuttt<br />
<br />
GIVE US A HAPPY CHAPTER !! LOL much love!
your_coffee_bean #9
Update!Update!Update! I'm sooooo in love with this story. I hope you update soon :).
Rini6189
#10
Jonghyun seems to be the only one having the least involvement from what I remember reading in Chapters 1-12. It's good that we finally get to see things from his perspective. Another plus is that you've gained three new subscribers. ^^ Good for you! <br />
<br />
It's a relief that the vision that left us hanging in the previous chapter isn't real. Poor Minho is worried sick now...almost like he's awaiting for the apocalypse to occur. Onew's fitting into his position well as their leader. He seems like the kind of person that any of his teammates--Minho, in this case--can turn to whenever there's a problem that some well-thought advice is needed to help cope with the situation/circumstances. That shows his care for the well-bing of his fellow teammates. It looks like Taemin hasn't forgiven Minho after the way he treated Minhyo. So, it could take a lot for him to be convinced. The lie that Minho came up with won't last long once they (minus Onew) get to the bottom of it and figure out his actual problem. I wonder what Minhyo would tell them about Taemin.