Dusk

Slave Heart

Taemin P.V.

Minhyo had suddenly started crying in the middle of the ride. I knew it was because of what happened this afternoon, not because she was scared. This attempt to cheer her up was ending miserably. When the ride stopped I waited until everyone got off because i didn't want people staring at her because she was crying. I don't want them whispering about something thats none of their buisness....When they all left i helped her up.

"Minhyo Nonna are you okay?"

She shook her head and looked sick. She ran to the trash can and started vomiting. I held her hair back...well there goes the shaved ice. She finished and wiped with the back of her hand. She looked horrible, she was sweaty and shaking. She looked like she just lost 20 pounds....

"Nonna lets go you-"

Then before I could finish my sentence she was falling to the ground. I caught her in my arms before she could make contact with the concrete.

"Min...Minhyo Nonna! Nonna!"

I shook her and she wouldn't wake up. lifting her, I put her on my back and carried her home. When we reached the dorm, I franticly punched in the door code, and myself through the door...

"UMMA! UMMA!"
"What! What, why are you calling me like that?! Wha...What happened to her!"
"We were getting off of a roller coaster, and she started throwing up, then...now...now shes like this!"

Key took her off of my back and laid her on her bed...

"My GOD! Shes burning up!"

I placed my hand against her cheek, and immediately pulled my hand away. She was so hot she actually burned me! How did she get like this so fast?

"Taemin-ah go tell Onew to call the director, we need to get her a doctor..."
"Neh."

I ran to the room...

"Onew Hyung! Call the Director! Minhyo is sick we need a doctor!" I felt like I couldn't speak fast enough. Onew grabbed the phone and called the director.

"Taemin could you get me a bowl of water and a washcloths. I need to cool her down!"

I ran to the bathroom. Found   a bowl and filled it cool water. I took it back to Key. He put the wash cloth in  the water, rung it out, then put it to Minhyo's head.

~~~~~20 MIN LATER~~~~~

The doorbell rang and it was the home visit doctor. She checked Minhyo's temperature, it was 104.2, so the doctor put her on a drip and prescribed her some medicine. She said Minhyo had a common cold, but that coupled with stress is what made her like this. Stress being Minho...who stayed locked up in the room, while the rest of us tended to Minhyo...its all I can do not to bash him in the face. Key went to go make her some food, and I mopped up the sweat on Minhyo's head. She was still unconscious. I wish Jognhyun and Onew would hurry back with her medicine...

 

Minho P.V.

Minhyo is sick.  My fist were clenched so tight it hurt. I couldn't deny the truth...she is sick because of me. I heard the doctor say she just had a cold but its worse because of stress...I made her like that...I'm so stupid for being such a jerk. I wish I could cater to her. But I'm scared that I will let something slip the moment my eyes see her feverish body. I wonder if she is still unconscious. I looked up at the clock...12:45 am...Everyone should be asleep now.I got up from my chair and peeped outside...no one...I slid out of the of the room and closed the door quietly behind me. They were all spewed about the living room fast asleep, so I went to the kitchen. Opening the cabinet, I grabbed a cup and filled it with water. Then I went to the fridge, got a couple of tangerines, pilled and placed them on a small plate with some unsalted buttered crackers. I put the glass of water and snacks in a tray and walked over to Minhyo's door...but I couldn't go in...My head hung and the view of the tangerines grew blurry. There was a lump in my throat. I'm sorry...I'm sorry. Why does this have to be so hard. I threw my head back to stop the tears. Deciding to do something good, I entered her room. She was huddled up sleeping, and an I.V. was attached to her hand...she looked horrible. I felt my throat swelling again. Swallowing hard, I walked over to her bed and placed the tray on her night stand. I caught sight of her right foot poking out of her blankets. She still had her socks on. Gently sliding my hands into her blankets, I removed her socks and tossed them in the hamper across her room. My eyes went back to her assessing her...her hand with the I.V. was under her head. Lifting her head in my hand, I removed her hand and placed it face down on the bed. She still had a fever, her skin was extremely hot. Looking at her one last time...I drunk in the sight....I haven't looked at her since we picked her up from the airport..i'ts so different..she was glowing in the airport...now she looks like shes been run over by a truck. Guilt welled up inside of me. After a minute passed, I slowly turned and quietly left her room.

 

Minhyo P.V.

I woke with a big head ache, the clock said 12:50. everyone should be asleep. I tried to get up but my body was really weak. So I just collapsed on my bed...I heard someone at my door...who ever it was, was standing there...After like a minute of two I heard my door knob turning. I closed my eyes pretending to be asleep. The person entered and stood in the middle of my room, then walked over and put something an my night stand. I felt strong hands on my feet...what is he doing...taking off my socks? He tucked me in. Then he lifted my head, and took my hand from my pillow and laid it on the bed. He smelled good. Instead of leaving after he finished readjusting me, he just stood there over me. Then the person turned and started leaving. Who could it be...it didn't smell like Taemin...I opened my eyes a little so I could see. In the darkness that was dimly lit by the hallway light...I saw Minho's tall silhouette leaving my room. He shut the door and my eyes grew wide in the darkness. What the...I opened my cell phone to light up the object he put on my night stand...In the hazy blue reflection I saw a glass of water, and tangerines with crackers. The constant bitting on my bottom lip, had it quite sore, but it was instinct when the emotions came pouring in. I looked back at the door, my eyes burning with the threat of tears. Doesn't he hate me? My head was hazy and disorientated...

 

~~~~~NEXT MORNING~~~~~

 

Minho's P.V.

Onew woke everyone up early because we had a scheduled day. Minhyo was originally supposed to come with us, but because of her current state, that arrangement became impossible. Key was making enough food to last her threw the day. I got out of bed to go wash up...

"At least I know she wont starve to death...."

I was passing her room, and risked a peek. Taemin was helping her out of bed. I looked at her night stand, the snacks that I put there were all gone. I almost smiled before I looked up to find her staring at me with an expression I couldn't quite read. Maybe she is still pissed at me...I would be. I tore my eyes away from her while clearing my throat, and continued to the bathroom.

 

Minhyo's P.V.

"Nonna...Nonna, wake up..."

I shifted in my bed, my whole body was aching.
"uuummmmmm....."
"Nonna wake up..."

I pulled my eyes open and looked at the clock...6:30 a.m...a wave of grumpiness came over me...why is this boy waking me up so early....

"Taemin-ssi..."
"Neh"
"Taemin-ah..."
"Neh?"
"Minnie-ah..."
"NEH?"
"Viataemin..."
"Ah Nonna wae?"
"Why are you waking me up at 6:30 am...?"
"*kekeke* Mienamida. We will be leaving soon and Key Umma wanted me to move you to the living room. It's closer to the bathroom and the kitchen."
"Oh..."

My irritation disappeared.

"Chan..." He started helping me out of bed. My gosh my limbs felt like spaghetti. By chance I looked up, and in my door way stood Minho looking at the plate he put on my night stand the dusk before, which was now empty. Then he looked at me. Recalling the night before, confusion set in as I watched him look away from me and leave.

"Nonna? Whats wrong?"
"Uh...Oh...nothing. My body just really hurts."
He pouted *so cute*
"I would carry you, but I have to hold your I.V. drip."
"It's fine."

We made our way over to the living room, an excruciating journey. I laid down on the coach and Taemin covered me with the blanket.

"Here eat this. It's porridge. I left some lunch, dinner, and healthy snacks. Make sure you eat so you can hurry and get better. Here is the phone and remote. Make sure you sleep okay!"
"Alessoyo, thank you."

Key adjusted my pillow and tucked me in more. In another 15 minutes they were leaving...

"Minhyo-ssi feel better, we will be back later okay?"
"Okay! Bye!"

 

Authors P.V.

SHINee spent all day recording and doing a photo shoot for a commercial about a knew smart phone. It was almost ten p.m. and everyone was tired...

 

Taemin P.V.

We finally finished the commercial shoot. I can't wait to get home, I hope Minhyo is feeling better. It was hard to concentrate on the commercial when I was extremely worried about my Nonna...

"Taemin-ah! Lets go!"
"I'm coming!" I grabbed my bag and put on my hat and shuffled out of the room...

 

Minhyo's P.V.

I spent most of the day sleeping. When I was awake, I just laid in the coach lazily watching dramas, only to drift into sleep again. After like the 6th nap, I woke to the sound of my phone ringing. I dug it out of the side of the couch.

CALLER I.D.~~~Lee <3~~~

This jerk? It's been almost a month since I left, and he's just now calling me? His "Best Friend"? I pressed the green answer button....

"Hello?"
"Hey Best Friend!"
"...."
"Hello?"
"Yea, why  are you calling me?"
"Oh-Hooo? No "how are you doing?""

I sighed...

"How are you doing?"
"I'm fine! What time is it over there?" I glanced at the clock on my phone (10:38)
"It's 10: 40 p.m."
"Woa its 9 am over here!"
"Umm"
"So how is it? Has anyone like thrown water in your face yet?"

Anger started building up inside of me...

"Lee...Why would someone do that?"
"I I already told you Funmi! The people there aren't going to like the fact that you are living with one of the most loved idols. In fact I can't even believe that they actually let you go over there!"
"Lee please..."
"What I'm just telling the truth! So are you all getting along?"

His question erased my anger at the chance to vent...

"Well everyone except one person.."
"Who?"
"Choi...Minho..."
"Oh Charisma boy."
"Since the first day I arrived here he has been too awful to me..."

I heard him snicker behind the phone...
"What? Whats funny?"
"I told you! See! I bet if you were some little cute Asian or White girl he would be really nice to you. Why did you enter that contest? You're just going to be treated badly for the next five months."

Rage...rage...rage...that is the only word that is coming to my head. I wanted to yell at him, curse him, but the anger was making my body weak. tears wheeled in my eyes...

"I...I can't...*sob*...Is this...what you called me for?"

I cleared my throat, I wont let him hear me cry...

"To think...that I thought...youd be of any help...any consolance." I felt the lump in my throat taking over again. Holding my breath, I hung up the phone. Once the phone ended that excuse of a call, I let it all bout. I sobbed, covering my face in my hands. I hate him...that was the end of our friendship.

Beep Beep Beep

The door opened. Wiping my face, I erased the traces of my emotional distress


 

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whateveritis #1
Chapter 19: did you did that pic?
killthemall #2
Chapter 19: this is pretty good and i'm touch!
SweetMya
#3
I'm in with this story it's so good. i hope you finish it. update soon PLEASE!
Rini6189
#4
The interaction between Taemin and Minhyo is cute. A man dressed up as a clown and practically screaming his head off as he chased after them is a hilarious scenario to witness. Minhyo's got a point about Taemin not understanding her situation since he had never fallen in love before. The pain that both Minho and Minhyo are experiencing is really depressing. It looks like they are really in need of emotional/moral support from the people around them. If only there's something that the rest of the SHINee members could do to help. Jonghyun's the only one oblivious to the reality of the situation--being happy-go-lucky without a care in the world. First, they'd have to reveal the truth to him. Minho does look like he's torn fron the inside-out here. Since Minho had been cold towards Minhyo since the beginning, it's hard for her to get over that and truly accept him with her heart. So, this is the price he pays for mistreating her. Still, her love for him won't go away. It did prevent her from letting him kill himself by heavily drinking. Hopefully, things would work out between the two of them with time. This is really depressing to read. It does hurt to see them suffering so much.
Rini6189
#5
Please don't take this the wrong way. I don't mean to bash your writing this way. It's just constructive criticism given to improve the quality of your writing. I don't have a problem with your writing style. Some of the mistakes did throw me off track. <br />
<br />
Ch. 18 mistakes:<br />
<br />
1. Instead I put some meat in Minho's plate.<br />
Correction: Instead, I put some meat on Minho's plate.<br />
<br />
2. It's awkward to see the phrase "messagine my cheeks." The correct verb to use is "massaging." <br />
<br />
3. I looked at him distress.<br />
* The perposition "with" is missing" before "distress."<br />
<br />
4. Taemin skipped to the song TRICK by Girls Generation on the CD player and turned to me expectedly.<br />
Correction: expectantly<br />
<br />
5. Loosing my patients I got off her bed and pulled her out of the bathroom<br />
Correction: Losing my patience<br />
<br />
6. The pain and jealousy were thrashing in my veins each trying to take the dominate role<br />
Correction: dominant<br />
<br />
7. Taking a deep breathe I broke into a sprint.<br />
Correction: Taking a deep breath, I broke into a sprint.<br />
* "Breathe" is a verb.
Rini6189
#6
It has been a while since I last read this. Though, I haven't forgotten about the essence of this story.<br />
<br />
It's a matter of time till Jonghyun finds out the real truth behind Minho's recent behavior. He seems to be diagnosed with the condition of being lovesick. Hopefully, Minho and Minhyo would try to work things out together. It is the groups' concern when at least one of their fellow teammates isn't feeling well. They need all the support that they can get. Later, they would have a bigger problem to face: having Minho's secret revealed to the public. I wonder how their management company would handle this. It could be passed off as a rumor. There are people who stir things up through gossip to catch the interest of others.<br />
<br />
Chapter 17 mistakes:<br />
<br />
1. His whole body tensed and you looked back at Onew with nervous eyes. <br />
* It seems like the attention is drawn towards the readers where the "you" is inserted. That should've been "he" instead since Key was referring to Minho.<br />
<br />
2. Then Onew stared at me with an un-readable expression....<br />
* Generally, a hyphen is not needed between the prefix and the actual word.<br />
<br />
3. "The only way I can do that is staying as far away from you as possible."<br />
* The preposition "by" should be added before "staying."<br />
Rini6189
#7
Since Lee's out of the picture, she no longer has to deal with him and his hurtful words. I'm aware that Taemin still feels bitter towards Minho for mistreating her. Taemin truly loves and cares for Minhyo that he'd do anything just for her to be happy. The feelings that he has for Minhyo are making him overwhelmed. It seems like a curse because of the way he's suffering from it. Getting drunk doesn't help the situation at all. The problem will only go away when the person confronts it and does something about it. That's when the weight will be lifted off the shoulders. Onew's the only one who knows the truth about Minho not really being himself...up till now. It looks like Key might be able to get some answers from him. Since he's so deep in sleep, it's unlikely that he'd be waken up from his nightmare. I hope it'd be a happy ending for all of them. <br />
<br />
The words in yellow aren't easy to see, especially on a bright monitor. It does put pressure on the eyes to have to squint in order to read it. It's best not to use colors that are look very too bright.
faithimnida
#8
YAY UPDATES!!!!!!! even though this chapter was sad :( <br />
<br />
Taemin really cares about her!! It's really sweet! Both Minho and Taemin worry about Minhyo! Buuuuuttt<br />
<br />
GIVE US A HAPPY CHAPTER !! LOL much love!
your_coffee_bean #9
Update!Update!Update! I'm sooooo in love with this story. I hope you update soon :).
Rini6189
#10
Jonghyun seems to be the only one having the least involvement from what I remember reading in Chapters 1-12. It's good that we finally get to see things from his perspective. Another plus is that you've gained three new subscribers. ^^ Good for you! <br />
<br />
It's a relief that the vision that left us hanging in the previous chapter isn't real. Poor Minho is worried sick now...almost like he's awaiting for the apocalypse to occur. Onew's fitting into his position well as their leader. He seems like the kind of person that any of his teammates--Minho, in this case--can turn to whenever there's a problem that some well-thought advice is needed to help cope with the situation/circumstances. That shows his care for the well-bing of his fellow teammates. It looks like Taemin hasn't forgiven Minho after the way he treated Minhyo. So, it could take a lot for him to be convinced. The lie that Minho came up with won't last long once they (minus Onew) get to the bottom of it and figure out his actual problem. I wonder what Minhyo would tell them about Taemin.