"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love."

C H A P T E R  F I V E

He is the best man to fall in love with. I knew it. The effects he leaves to me

whenever we kiss, hug and hold hands, they never fade. That’s what I love about

him. When I feel his skin brushes against mine, it seems like I’ve forgotten how

to breathe properly. But then, I am too contented in my love life, have totally

forgotten about my friendship. When I see Wooyoung standing in front of the

door, nothing comes across my mind but stop with whatever I’m  doing and

lay my eyes on him. Ever since that day, everything changes.

       Is it my mistake? Is our friendship going to end?

               Hiss.

               The aroma of onion dancing in the pan with oil as its coat filled the kitchen and what a good thing to start her day. She took a good sniff of the sweetness and a light smile formed on her face before putting three eggs into the frying pan. The reason why she smiled was not because of the pleasant aroma. But it’s because of her happiness being with him. She had never thought she actually had a chance to witness how amazing it was being so in love with your beloved one.

               “Morning,” he whispered and kissed her earlobe. She smiled and bit her lips and continued stirring.

               “What are you cooking for breakfast?” he asked while hoping on the counter top. She turned her face towards his direction and that was when she realized he was only in his boxer and shirtless. She gulped, seeing those well built chests and trailed her eyes down to his abs.

               Holy god.

               Those abs. The same body which she had kissed a countless times last night.  

               “Wowwie, someone’s eyes are bulging out,” he teased while having a small laugh.

She, on the other hand couldn’t help but rolling her eyes in annoyance and stuck her tongue out before she proceed with the cooking. Stupid, Ok Taecyeon. She cursed in her mind and made a lot of vulgar faces while frying the ingredients in the frying pan. He always did that. Whenever she’s having those once in a blue moon feelings then he must be doing something that could ruin the entire mood.

               “Could you please help me setting the table?” she asked without turning her face.

               “No prob.”

               After she’s done with the cooking, she served the meals on the table and placed her both hands on her waist and felt satisfied. She didn’t remember when was the last time she ever prepared a breakfast since she always skipped that. She had no time to have it because she always got careworn on the night before and ended up waking up late on the next day. Both of them settled in and sat across each other. She slipped the spoon inside and waited with full of anticipations to know what kind of reaction he’d be giving her. It took a couple of blinks before he finally said,

               “It’s great.”

               She smiled and finally started digging in with a smile on her face. She wished she could do this for every single day for the whole entire of her life. After they ate their breakfast, they did the dishes together and filled the whole apartment with their favourite song, Illusion by Nat King Cole and waltzed, like the world was theirs and drown into the meaningful lyrics.

               He tucked a strand of her hair beneath her ear then he whispered, “Lee Shinah.” The corner of her lips slightly twitched. “What?” she asked softly while closing her eyes. She liked being so close with him. She felt secured and all warm at the same time. Probably that’s the power of love.

               “Did I tell you I love you last night?” he asked, still whispering.

               “I…don’t remember,” she smiled.

               “Too bad, because I just thought I wanted to tell you hundred reasons why I love you.”

               “Well, yeah you did. Once. You owe me ninety-nine.”

               He grinned and slowly parted away from her. He laid his eyes on her small face and then he gently cupped her face with his own hands and then he said,

               “The 2^nd one is, I love your face,” then he crushed his lips with hers. The kiss was soft but a long one. After they broke away, she bit her lips and she asked, “What’s the third reason?”

               “One per day, silly,” he pinched her nose and then they continued dancing while embracing each other, like the south and north poles had always been destined to be ever since they were first invented.

*     *     *     *

               There were so many reasons why Wooyoung loved being with Shinah and Taecyeon. The main reason of all was that they didn’t have to be told twice to get the point which he absolutely despised being awaken up early in the morning. They only did once, and that was it. And the other things which he hated like spicy foods, zombies, works, nags and most importantly, Park Eunmi.

               Well, correction.

               Park Eunmi shouldn’t have been included in the list, but, seriously, he’s annoyed with her. She’s all bossy, always instructed him to do this and that even though she wasn’t his actual boss, but only as a partner of his job. But still, he couldn’t deny of how actually good she was at being an architect and a good worker, even though she was left with an option to laze around in her house doing nothing and still have her bank account loaded with money.

               “Jang Wooyoung, wake up!!”

               “Ugh..” he groaned while scrunching his face and scraping his head at the same time. He rolled to the side and caught a pillow, then he buried his face, his scent.

               “Jang Wooyoung, I’m not kidding here!”

               “Hish!!” and that was it. With his eyes still closed, he released a heavy sigh and pouted. He couldn’t help but shielding his eyes using his arm when he realized the sunlight leaked through the curtain in the stealthy manner, like it always did and he hated that.

               “Eunmi, I hate people waking me up in the early morning. I want to sleep!”

               “Early morning your . It’s almost noon you dummy! Wake up! If we don’t start moving back to Seoul now, it’s going to be late and you never knew dfefurfurhfr! Fuf!!”

               She was cut off when he covered using his hand. He trailed his index finger to his lips and he hushed.

                “I hate hearing people nagging.”

               And just like that, he went into the bathroom and took a bath with full of excitement to go home and have some good times with Shinah and Taecyeon. While on the other hand she was stunned and her eyes still bulging out in surprise while sitting still on the bed. She didn’t move an inch and then she slowly raised her fingers and felt . She never had any skin contact with him excluding the one when their fingers brushed accidentally when she handed files to him and when she leaned into his chest when they’re being packed in elevator.

               This time was different.

               Because it wasn’t an accident. He didn’t do it in purpose. He did it when he’s in his right state. He did it because it was his intention after all to cover using his hand. Even though it’s not close at all to be called as a skin contact that involves affections, but it’s still special to her.

               She knew he was annoyed with her. She could tell that by seeing how he had the same expression on his face whenever she’s around him. She couldn’t help with that. It’s automatic for her to behave differently, not like the one she had in her mind to look sweet and daring in front of her crush. And of course, she didn’t blame him to be annoyed with her because it was totally not his fault. It was her fault after all. She tried to change and had been practicing a lot in front of her mirror before getting to work as his partner, but it didn’t work— at all. She guessed she had to believe in luck and pray to God someday he would fall for her like the way she always is when she’s with him.

               “Clack.”

               She turned her head to the direction of the door and she was out of her breathe. She couldn’t believe what she was having before him. The picture she always imagined in her mind, a shirtless Wooyoung. She swallowed hard and dropped open. He stared at her with a weird look ghosted over his face, had no idea what she acted like that. After a couple of seconds, that’s when she suddenly realized what she was doing. She blinked her eyes for a couple of times and stood up then she said,

               “Sorry,” and that’s when she walked out from the room. He trailed where she was going until she closed the door. The corner of his lips twitched in amusement seeing how she acted and then he got changed.

*     *     *     *

               “Eunmi!”

               She blinked her eyes for a couple of numbers before she jerked her head to the back when she saw his hand waving in front of her face, inches away. After he pulled his hand and placed it on the steering wheel, she turned her face towards his direction and puzzled.

               “What? What did I miss?”

               He released a sigh and made a face. “I told you a story but it’s all okay with me if you want me to stay quiet and want to listen to the radio,” after he had ended his sentences, he turned up the volume and remained looking at the road before him.

                “No, I was spacing out actually. Of course I’d love to listen to your stories.”

               He smiled, and then he proceeded, “Do you have a best friend?” After she had fully interpreted his question, she jerked her gaze away from his face and answered in a soft voice,

               “I used to. But not anymore.”

               “Why? What happened?” then it’s all silence. He took his gaze off the road and looked at her, and he could tell it was a bad memory that’s not worth it to be replayed and talked about. He swallowed hard and then he said, “It’s okay. Don’t have to talk about it. I truly understand.”

               “Ahh no, no. I’m so sorry. It’s just, I don’t know, I guess it’s our mistakes. Truth to be told, I don’t want to end it with him, but, it’s just, I don’t know, I was all stressed out and sad and pissed at the same time when I found out he had betrayed me,” she stopped and then closed her eyes for a couple of seconds, tracing back the moments they used to spend together. She missed that. She missed the old she who wasn’t afraid to try new things and question others’ feeling for her. She missed him.

                “It hurt me, you know, knowing that all these while I’d been happy being his best friend but it seemed like— like he didn’t feel the same way. So, I guess I answered your question wrongly. Actually, I don’t. I don’t have a best friend. It was just a one sided friendship. Gosh, does that even exist?” she chuckled.

               And then, silence accompanied them. He had no idea what to say. He truly felt bad and stupid for bringing this thing up. Why the hell did I ask her? He asked and mentally slapping himself at the same time for his stupidity.

               “But it’s okay. At least it taught me a lesson. I should’ve been more cautious.” She looked at him and smiled, and that was when he realized he had missed a spot.

               She actually had dimples, but they’re quite hidden because of her stuffed cheeks. They were small and yet, looked so adorable and amazing on her. The corner of his mouth twitched and that was his first time, having a good time with Eunmi after a year being her partner.

               “Hrm, anyway,” she suddenly spoke, after hesitating for the longest time.

               “What?”

               “Okay, first of all, I don’t want to ruin our relationship or what but it’s just,” she stopped talking when she saw him staring at her with a curious look ghosted over his face. Then she took a deep breath and swallowed and then she continued, “Like what I said, I’m not having an intention to ruin our relationship, seriously because I treasure it so much but, it’s itching you know, disturbing me and make me feel not well every time I’m around you and when I’m thinking about you.”

               “Eunmi—”

               “No, let me finish this. I actually,” she stopped for a moment and closed her eyes and then she resumed, “I actually like you.”

               Both of them remained in silence, not knowing what to say. Even though she knew this decision of hers could change everything in her life starting from now on, but she thought it was about time to confess. She couldn’t bear and she wasn’t strong enough to carry the heavy feeling everywhere. She needed to dispose them, by confessing to him.

               He, on the other hand, felt sorry to her for not being able to open his heart and leave some space for her except as a friend, not more than that because his heart fully belonged to Shinah. He couldn’t open his heart to somebody else, but Shinah and even he hated that fact. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth, but his action was stopped when she intruded.

               “It’s okay. It’s not like I was expecting you to love me back.”

               “Eunmi—”

               “No, I understood. It’s disgusting, isn’t it, being loved by someone whom you’re disgusted?”

               “Eunmi, I’ve never had that kind of feeling towards you. I never felt disgusted of you.”

               She stared at him and clutched her lips and felt her vision was blurred. She held her tears by clutching her lips hard and kept her eyes on the road.

               “And about your feeling—” he stopped and turned his face towards her direction. Guilt rushed over him. He could tell that if he’s destined not to fell in love with Shinah, he’d fall for Eunmi because she’s the best to choose as the second option when it comes for him to give his heart to. He thought it’s unfair, but then, it’s life.

                “I actually knew about it.”

               That time, she felt like the time was stopped and it’s only her and him breathing on Earth. She felt like the Earth had stopped orbiting around the Sun. She felt like her body was scattered into pieces. She was stoned and had no idea what to say. Both of them remained in silence for a minute and that’s when she spoke,

               “Why— why didn’t you tell me?”

               “Because I don’t want to be awkward with you nor do I want you to take caution of the things you do,” then he stopped and looked at her, “I don’t want you to know about me knowing how you’re feeling about me because I don’t want us to hate each other.”

               “I won’t hate you! I like you!”

               Then it’s all silence. His mouth twitched a bit, but he held it because he could tell it’s not suitable to fit in for the situation. He bit his lips and that’s when he said, “See? That’s what I meant. I don’t want you to feel stupid or regret of the things you do. It’s for our own benefits.”

               “But, why can’t you love me?”

               “Eunmi—”

               That was not the reply she wanted from him but it’s also the one she had expected from him before she asked him in real. She knew love was never her thing. There was never luck for her when it comes to love. She doubt there was actually someone out there, waiting for her— marked as her soul mate who would be spending the rest of his life with him. Who was she anyway? Every time, she felt like she didn’t deserve to live. She bit her lips and that’s when she said,

                “Stop the car.”

               “Eunmi—”

               “STOP THE CAR!!”

               He pulled over on the shoulder of the road and she went out right away. He slammed his hand hard on the steering wheel, felt miserable for not being able to please her and not knowing what to do to fix this kind of situation. He barely had it, hence his inability to settle it. He stepped his feet on the ground and faced his body around and saw her facing the wind, her hair danced gracefully in the air following the direction of the wind. He slowly stepped forward towards her but he was stopped by her action.

               “AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” she screamed and suffocated for air to fill her lungs, then she screamed again with all of her might.

                “AHHHHHHH!!”

               “Eunmi, are you okay?” What a stupid question.

               She closed her eyes and took a couple of deep breaths and that’s when she turned her body around to face.

                “I’m okay. I’m just, okay. I felt like the heaviness I’ve been carrying all these while was still there. But Wooyoung, it’s gone now. All of them, gone,” she looked down on the ground as her attempt to hide her face by having her long hair as the veil, and started sobbing. She didn’t remember when was the last time she ever cried because she was always good at holding it. But this time, she couldn’t. She felt like her tear was needed to bid goodbye to the feeling which she’d decided to finally let go today—the feeling which she had been faking all these while.

               She wasn’t actually in love with Wooyoung. It was just an admiration because he actually reminded her of her old love, the one she had always cherished and longed for. She felt miserable and disgusted with herself for doing this. Even though she wasn’t practically toying around with his feeling as they were never together, but then, she used him after all. She used him as an excuse to forget about her old love, and she knew, she would never be able to do that no matter how hard and long she tried. The love would never fade away. But why? She always questioned the same question all over again to herself and yet, she couldn’t find the perfect answer albeit years had passed already. It would always be left with a blank place, as if it’s waiting for someone to jot down the answer which would be eternally blank. She covered her face with her both hands and was surprised when she was wrapped carefully around his arms.

               It had always been her wish to fall in his embrace, and now she had it. His embrace didn’t feel the same like the ones she had with her old lover. Wooyoung’s was gentle— afraid of breaking her into pieces while her old lover’s embraces always felt warm and secured. Caught up briefly in his gentle embrace she sank against his chest before she broke away.

               “Thank you Wooyoung. Thank you so much.”

               “No need to thank me. It should’ve been me thanking you,” he tucked a strand of her hair beneath her ear and then he said, “I’m sorry Eunmi. I’m really sorry for not being able to love you. But you’ve got to know you’re such a sweet heart and I can tell you deserve a man who’s much better than me.”

               She looked at him, and then she asked, “Do you hate me?”

               “No I don’t. Well, even though sometimes I do get annoyed of you for always nagging at me about this and that,” he stopped when she laughed and then he proceeded, “But I don’t hate you.”

               A light smile was formed on her face and then she lend out her hand.

               “Friends?”

               “Friends.”

               After three hours journey, at last, they’d arrived in Seoul. He sent her to her house and they bid goodbye, fresh, as friends not as working partners. The goodbye was different this time. It’s full of warmness and happiness, not like the one they always had, dull and lack of sincerity.

*     *     *     *

               He loved surprises but he surprised people more than he had received. He wanted to have more, but too shy to ask because he was born to be a shy person. He once surprised Shinah when he bought her an acoustic guitar for her 13^th birthday. He also did surprise Taecyeon by buying him a series of his favourite books. He had surprised her mom by buying her dream house on her 54^th birthday. And so on. But those were the special ones which he remembered until now.

               He was grinning in full of excitement but walking slowly as if he was tiptoeing in order to refrain himself from making any noises. When he’s situated in front of the main door of the apartment, he slowly fished the spare keys she had given to her when she first bought the apartment and opened the door. It was like a slow motion to him. The moment when he slowly took off his shoes and nicely placed it in the shoe rack until the moment he unlocked the door with a big smile on his face. But it couldn’t beat when he felt like he took ten seconds to catch a breath when he contemplated the scene before him.

               Two persons who he loved so much were making out on the couch, and he could tell there was so much love going on between two of them. He was speechless and had no clue what was actually going on. He thought he was dreaming because of the sleepiness he had during the whole journey and that was why he closed his eyes for a minute but after he opened his eyes again, the same scene filled his vision.

               He’s still not sure.

               He rubbed his eyes, and it’s still the same and he knew the best, second time concluded the uncertainty. It was real. At that very moment, he realized he had made the biggest sin in his whole entire life. If he had a chance, he’d rewind the time and accept Eunmi’s love because now he knew how painful it was having your love unreturned.

               “I’m sorry,” he whispered to himself and it was meant for Eunmi.

               “Surprise,” a voice filled his mind— not knowing whose voice it belonged to.

               That night, his heart scattered into pieces.

               But unfortunately, only he knew about that.