"If I had a single flower for every time I think about you,

I could walk forever in my garden."

P R O L O G U E

If I die young, bury me in a satin

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Sink me on the river at dawn

Send me away with the words of a love song

- The Band Perry, If I Die Young

-------Have you ever felt the same?

Like you don’t deserve breathing the air with everyone else after what you’d caused.  After what you’d put in the lives of people you loved. Like you just need to run away as you can’t stand with yourself anymore, not even another day, another hour, another minute, not even another second.  I don’t want to sound insane but I can’t stand the pressure. I feel hopeless for every single time. The guilt will never set me free.

-------Have you ever felt like ending your life?

— for the sake of your loved ones. Because the truth, I have.  And let me tell you, it’s worse. So, if I die in real, I know I don’t deserve people to come and mourn my eternal departure but all what I want is to have people I loved around me for the last time, and do what I wished for when I die. That’s all what I want. Simple, isn’t it? But somehow, the thought of that makes me feel selfish. I knew why. It’s obvious.

-------Because I don’t deserve it.

-------As she set her eyes on the black and white picture of the ultrasound, that’s when she realized that it had been twenty-two weeks and truth to be told, she couldn’t find a suitable word which could express her excitement to have a new light to shine her life, for a better one after waiting in full of anticipation after a long time already. She placed her right palm on the surface of her belly— feeling its movement and it kicked and it had its kind of special magic to make curve upwards, feeling satisfied and happy at the same time.

-------Sometimes, whenever she tried to close her eyes every single night, coping with the reality that their child would not be able to meet him, she would be asking whether the fetus would be having her genes or his. Even though the same process kept happening like a circle with a 360 degree for every single night, she’s not tired of having this question wandering in her mind even though it’d been almost five months, she kept questioning the same question, not to herself— not to her pregnancy doctor— not to anyone else, but him. But she’s also the one who knew very well the fact that even though she’d wait for years, she’d never get the answer from whom she especially wanted to hear it from.

-------Her eyes were completely shut, and that was when she saw the face of him again before falling asleep in a beautiful dreamland she could have ever dreamed of.

-------“I miss you,” she whispered.

*     *     *     *

------- When they were about to get into college, they always spent their times together (not that they didn’t do much before) but this time it was more like, every second, every time they’re seen together as if there’s nothing that could break them away from each other because they knew they both wouldn’t be choosing the same path as the beginning to the next level in their lives as adults, for their career lives in the future.

-------He liked buildings. Whenever he and his family went for a vacation miles away from his hometown, then, he’d take every second of it by gawking at the structure of the buildings, the main components that made them stand steadily, look different from the other buildings. But most of all, he liked the structures of his house. He liked everything about it, because he’s the one who’d fixed most of the flaws which he was able to identify most of the time. That could make him as a good contractor, but he didn’t like that one.

-------And that was why— he worked as an architect, with a dream to have his own label and company with other talents under him. But he knew it’d be a long way to go for him to achieve that because it had never occurred to him the fun he always had in his mind before he started working, would be the opposite. Totally opposite until it’d reached the limit where he sometimes found himself actually wanted to run away from the city he’s residing, away from people who knew him to start a new life. But he could tell it’s going to be hard.

-------While on the other hand, she liked writing. It all started with her admiration with novels. She had read a few, and had some as her favourites and as the number got bigger and bigger, it’s at the same pace with her passion at writing. She had it as a hobby. She liked drafting what she had in her mind, what she felt, what she’d encountered for the day and that would be a good reason why she had almost sixty notebooks neatly arranged on her shelf.

-------And she worked as a journalist, even though her real passion was to write beautiful things about her own imagination and creating her own world and jot all of them down on blank canvases but as a matter of fact, she thought it was more valuable writing real things happening in everyday life than the one she admired. But of course, she kept it as a hobby that could soothe her whenever she’s down. And what she liked being a journalist was the fact that she actually could work with people and write down their stories, true stories that could be shared to the whole entire world. 

-------Meet them, Jang Wooyoung and Lee Shinah.

-------And this is a story about their lives.

-------Scratch that.

-------This is a story about lives, families, relationships, emotions, feelings and loves— all in a story with a hope you would be able to immerse yourself in this story and share the various emotions together with the characters.

-------Welcome.