22

Hebe wrapped her body with a bathrobe, wiping the fog from the mirror with her hand as she stare into her reflection. With a sentence, it can do so much damage. With one word, it rendered her vulnerable.

Flashback

“So you’re going to keep those lips of yours shut tight?”

“This is none of your business. You can’t be involved in my business, there is a thin line between being a friend and someone who wants to pry, you are crossing that line Mike.”

“ME?” And Mike stopped her words when he stopped her voice with his kiss. She can only acknowledge his heart, his body and soul cannot be with her nor will she allow it. “I will make it my business to know.”

End of Flashback

Her hand slowly went to her shoulder, squeezing it tight as she closed her eyes. Feeling her heartbeat die down for a moment. Like Gui, they have something that desperately need to seal, no one could ever know about it. No one shall ever know, no one. This was a secret that they will be taking to their grave. This secret was for their own safety and survival. If someone knows about their secret, it will threaten the balance between good and evil. All things won’t be the same, hell will become infinite.

“What should I do? Mom... I miss you...” Hebe put her clothes while a tear stream down her face. The person who can help them go through the pain and to stop themselves losing grip of what is important is their mother, Mrs. Wu. But she was no longer there, she slipped out away like a precious feather flowing above ground. A single white feather that will forever flow above the ground, never touching the dirty, muddy floor. Forever untainted, forever there with them.

When she walked out, she laid down on the floor and stared at the ceiling. The girl who was gifted with the name Fu Chen was no longer her life, all she could do was smile in pain at the reality that brought them to this point. For her to be Fu Chen once again, she could only dream about it. Wishing from the bottom of her heart that her wish will come true one day. In silence, she stared up at the ceiling until she her eyes blurred her vision. She covered her eyes with her arm and allow the tears to come out. The strong and confident Hebe stayed quiet and allow her to break down in tears.

Flashback

7 years ago,

“Remember, do not show your backs to anyone. Do not risk putting yourself in danger, be with each other all the time. You guys are our soul and happiness. I know by doing this you guys will hate me, but as long as you guys stick together, mommy will be happy, even if you guys choose to hate me. Because you guys are my little angels.”

“Mommy, I understand.” The eighteen year old Fu Chen smiled as she looked at the seventeen year old Ying Jie, who nodded in agreement.

End of Flashback

She missed everything about her mother, her gentle touch, her soothing voice singing to them that it was okay to feel scared and be afraid, because this will all be a dream that will have a happy ending. Like the summer’s breeze, their mother’s touch and voice was like the summer wind. Her comfort, her ability to make everyone feel loved... Her mother was right, it was a dream that will have a happy ending. Once everything ends, the happy ending will be sought after.

But now, everything was dark, there was no longer a path that will lead them out. There was no path to begin with, a path with a happy ending doesn’t exist, it has never existed. It was only wishful thinking. Their mother told them that it was okay to dream of a happy ending but reality hits fast doesn’t it? The heavily sought after happy ending never existed. It couldn’t be, it shouldn’t, it wasn’t there. Her tears continue to block her vision.

The mother that everyone has, a mother who they can depend on, a mother that will always hug their child like a precious gemstone, sing a one-of-a-kind lullaby for their child to sleep, a mother who will always be the guardian angel for their children. A mother figure is what Hebe tried to be for Gui, a mother is someone who will look out for their child, to chase away bad dreams, to support and give endless love for them. For comfort through the dark, for the light that will always shine brightly in the dark, to be the guardian angel that could be heard through heavens.

A mother... who everyone can bring their problems to, to speak to, to love, a mother who will always be there. But... She was no longer alive... She whispered her farewells when her time was near. Leaving her with nothing but fragments of beautiful yet, innocent memories of longing and warmth in Fu Chen’s life.

Hebe held her hand up, her eyes traced around her it. Her hands brought it up to the light, shielding her eyes from the light that seemed bright for a second. The more time she spend with the Yan brothers, she could feel her will to carry on decrease. The strength to hide the most dangerous, yet, captivating words engraved on her back a secret... decrease. She could hear footsteps walking closer and closer to her. Without looking up or getting up from her position, she knew who it was that stepped into her room. She was like a child that you want to embrace, like a child who cries for a mother, she desired it.

As Mike walked into the room, he sat down next to her. When his eyes stared at her, he could see her tear stained face. Even if her arm was concealing her eyes, it was enough for Mike to feel his heart clench. It doesn’t take a doctor to know that what she was feeling, pain, uttermost pain. “If this is about me confessing, I will not take it back. Because I see no need to.” Unknowingly, Mike carefully lifted her up so that his arms can hug her. He lightly embraced her like a friend who was comforting a friend. She froze as he held her in silence for a moment. In that moment, Hebe couldn’t bring her arms to wrap around him, so she stayed still.

“You are right. I have no idea what you are going through and I don’t think I will get the chance to know the pain that you are going through. 7 years have went by painlessly, for me that is. But to you, these 7 years must be breaking you into pieces. I can understand little by little what you are trying to say, you are carrying the burden not because you need to, but because you want to. And by telling Aaron and I to forget was a way for us not to get involved, hurt in the process. I think I understand.. If that is what you’re trying to say...  However, there is something that I want you to know.”

Hebe slowly pulled away which caused Mike to smile as he wipe her tear stained face.

“I would never know what you’re feeling if you don’t let me in. You and Gui want to keep Aaron and I away from you guys but has it ever occurred to you that Aaron and I should be the ones who should be protecting you and Gui. Whether you want to believe it or not, a man’s role is to protect those important to him. It’s part of being a man, to cherish and protect those important to them. I have always regarded you as someone precious to me, like a diamond, you might not be shining bright all the time but to me, in my eyes, you seem to shine the brightest. Even when we were little, when your eyes were all over that senior, I told myself constantly that there is something wrong with her eyes and that she was blind. But I knew that I would eventually have to break out of my barrier and confess like a man. I know it sounds cheesy, corny, cliché but that’s how it is. I have always been in love with you, I don’t remember liking anyone else other than you. I know you don’t feel the same way as I do and I understand that. But think for a moment, if that senior was in my place, would he rat you out or keep you hidden? He was a b*stard, no, he is still a b*sta–”

Hebe smiled as Mike caressed her cheek. “For you to open up, I am willing to wait. I want you to feel safe, I can be the person who you can rely on. Hebe... Fu Chen... I don’t know if I can handle a rejection but at least, open your eyes to see that there will always be someone there for you. I won’t ask for much, but I will ask for this.” Mike whispered as he lifted her chin to meet his gaze. “Be strong Hebe Wu Fu Chen.” Hebe continued to stare into his eyes, wondering if this is what he is really feeling. “Why me? You can have all or any girl you want, why choose someone like me? I can’t do much, we can’t even go out and act like a couple... I don’t understand one bit.”

“Good question...”  Mike rubbed his chin and laughed. “Maybe you have bewitched me?” Mike laughed as he kissed Hebe on the forehead. While he did, her hands held onto her shoulder, gripping it tightly as she contemplated whether or not to show him the reason behind everything. She was arguing back and forth on whether or not to tell him. Her mind says no, but her heart says “Tell him.” But was this really okay? Everything that she did will crumble, the brutal truth could come crumbling down and in an instant, he will be pulled even deeper in to her world of madness.

The more she looked at Mike, the more her mind became heavy with the thoughts and judgments that clouded her mind. Her ability to tell what is right from wrong was starting to mix. Is this really okay?

“Mike... Can you promise me you won’t say a word to anyone about this?”

Mike looked at her, questioning that question. ‘Was she asleep during the entire time he was pouring his heart out?’

Hebe slowly turned around so that he can only see her back facing towards him. She has given so much thought as to why she is doing this but one thing was for sure, if she wants to trust others then she would have to gather the courage to do so.

So Hebe swiftly grabbed her red hair, sliding it on one side while Mike sit behind her, staring at her back as she untied her bathrobe only to slid that covered one of her shoulder bare. She never intended for him to see the entire thing, it is more than enough to have him see the black ink on her back. Mike slowly traced her words on her shoulder, with his fingers tracing the blank ink that was imprinted forever on her body. As she did this, she was forever tainted with the words that were poison to her.