The Awful Edges Where You End and I Begin

Playing With Fire

            Aaron’s face was red with nervousness as the police stood in front of him. Minhyun spoke the most, and the eldest was quiet. His heart thumped behind his ribs as his friend explained everything to the large man in front of them. Joonkin sat on the sofa across the room, Dongho’s mother between himself and his father. She silently cried into her hands. Aaron’s forehead grew warm and he crossed his arms.

            Why was he lying, and to the police, no less? Was what he was doing really worth what he was aiming for? In his mind, of course it was. For a moment, his conscience woke, telling him that all he was thinking was wrong, that he was horrible and rotten to the very core for all he felt and thought. He couldn’t deny it; he knew that he’d landed off of his rocker when he had fallen for Minki; he still hadn’t been sure why. More thoughts of Dongho entered his mind. He could easily own up to what had happened right then, but he was much more interested in disposing of his “friend” himself.

            He truly sickened himself now. What, with the many ways he could have done it. Ideas upon ideas ran into and out of his mind as they finally slowed to a single one. He tried to recall; did they own any type of saw? He wasn’t sure, but the thought of the buckets of blood he would have left turned him from that train of thought. He continued to dream of ways, but the single one involving the saw was what crept back in time after time.

            His knuckles turned white as his face flushed of colour as well. No one could tell, really; clearly they were all far too frantic for that. He had to have looked like he’d known something. Couldn’t they have sensed his weakness? Did he really look that worried, or stable, even, for them to not have paid attention to him? Why wasn’t Minki’s name brought up; wasn’t he doused in blood when he arrived at the hospital? Had no one else noticed? The thought of Minki reminded him; had he known what had happened that night, had he remembered who’d brought them to the room? The blonde would have shot him a look for sure, if he did.

            “We can go now, Aron.” Minhyun told him, waking him to reality. He placed a hand on his shoulder and left it there for a moment, bowing his head. Dongho’s mother was the first to stand; she took Minhyun in her arms and didn’t say a word.
            “Thank you.” his father said. Joonkin bowed to the elders as he moved to the door. “My apologies. I hope we find him.”

            The boys retreated to the car as well. The ride was long and full of ideas about where the other could have been, but Aaron hardly answered. They had reached the house. Just as soon as Joonkin had pulled away, Minhyun stepped inside, but Aaron stayed behind. He pushed the garage door open, puzzled to find it unlocked. Stepping over the many pieces of trash from the party that each of them had abandoned the previous night, he searched the garage. He found nothing of use but a large roll of plastic. He’d recalled when the group had first moved in. A time where nothing was wrong in his mind, his soul hadn’t rotted away, and Minki’s hair was still brown. They’d been painting the living room it’s now bright and colourless hue; white. His smile was soon wiped from his face when he remembered what he was there for. He set the roll of plastic to the side of the garage and continued to hunt for tools.

---

            Minhyun kicked the dozens of plastic cups from his way to form a trail through the rubbage. The entire house smelled of nothing but alcohol and ; not that he argued with the fact. He’d figured he’d have to call someone to clean this for him, as he was sure he couldn’t himself. What had happened while he was gone? He was sure there wasn’t that much beer, or that many people there that night. He shrugged as he plucked the surprisingly empty garbage can from the kitchen and retreated back to the entry, on his knees as he cleaned.

            He’d filled a good three bags before he’d wondered where Aaron had gone. Perhaps he was in his room, thinking over the last several hours, or at the hospital picking up the only car they had left. Either way, the tall brunette of lanky stature was glad to be alone.

            Wiping his brow with the short sleeve of his t shirt, he sighed. He was genuinely worried for Dongho and Jonghyun, more eager to find the first more than anything. He knew exactly how he felt. He’d remembered their last one-on-one conversation as something he hadn’t wanted to. He wished he was a tad bit kinder than he was; who was he trying to fool with his attitude, anyway?

            The worst of all thoughts struck him. What if Dongho was missing on his own accord? What if he decided to solve the problem himself? Minhyun shook his head. That couldn’t have been. Dongho had always had a very tough exterior, even if inside he wasn’t who he had come off as to others. If anyone could have seen the real him, it was Minhyun. He cursed himself for not being kinder and listening, even if that was all that he could do. He had sympathy for Aaron; why hadn’t he had any for Dongho? Clearly, he was biased at the time. If he had told either of them what he had known about Minki and Jonghyun, he could have saved everyone the trouble from the start.

            The vocalist carefully removed the cell phone from his pocket; it still hung by a small bit of battery. He used it to call Dongho’s own phone once more. He had to apologize, even if that was the last thing he’d allow him to do. He was not surprised at all when he hadn’t answered; though it had gone directly to voicemail. If Dongho had been all right at all, Minhyun knew he would always have his phone charged. The brunette’s heart thumped and many places that he could have been erupted in his mind.

            He focused on only one idea. What if he was dead?

---

            “I’ll be okay, Ren.”

            Despite Jonghyun’s attempts and near begs for him to calm himself, Minki continued to silently cry yet still. Though he was clean of the blood now, he still felt more dirty than he had any other time. He was still the only one, as far as he knew, that held the truth of Dongho’s demise. How could he have been the one to have told anyone? He simply could not; it was crush the rest of them, their fans, his parents. Nothing would be the same again, and not even Jonghyun’s pleads were enough to convince him otherwise.

            “It’ll be okay. They’ll find,” he paused before saying the band mate’s name. “Baekho and I’ll get better. Nothing’s going to change. Come here.” He offered his uninjured arm again and Minki fell against it. He placed his blonde head on the pillow next to Jonghyun’s and closed his eyes, taking in his scent that wasn’t masked by the bandages.
            “When did they say you could take these off your face?” the maknae questioned, placing a finger between two layers, his face. Jonghyun winced in slight pain.
            “Soon, I guess. I’m not that badly burnt there.” he answered, half pleased and half devastated by what could be the outcome of the rest of his body.
            “Thank God.” Minki smiled.

            The room was quiet, Jonghyun massaged Minki’s forearm with his thumb as they both pondered all they could. Minki was the one to break the silence.

            “Where were you going?”
            “What?”
            “Where were you going when you got into the accident.” The maknae said the last few syllables of the sentence ever so low, as if embarrassed by only the mention.
            “I was looking for you.” the leader answered openly. He could have elaborated, but chose to leave his simple statement the way it was. After seconds, though, he had changed his mind. “I shouldn’t have assumed that you wronged me, Ren. I know you wouldn’t. And now I want to kiss you, but I can’t. It hurts.”
            “You don’t have to worry about me this much. You wouldn’t have gotten into the car if it weren’t for me.”
            “Princess, no. Don’t blame this on yourself.” Tears threatened, but they didn’t fall, as they would have still stung the broken skin.

            Minki nuzzled his nose deeper into his love’s neck and nodded.

            “Ren, look at me.” the leader insisted. Minki hesitated, but he sat up on command.
            “I want you to know that the only reason I do these things is because I don’t want to lose you. I don’t know what drove me to be so insensitive. I can’t believe I,” he cut himself off. “God,” he didn’t take a breath as he argued with himself. “I was so irritable that I hit Aron, I ignored Minhyun, I mistrusted you and I didn’t even notice that there was anything wrong with Baekho. I’ve been horrible to everyone. Joonkin-ssi is always the one to come and rescue me. How am I supposed to be a Leader when all I can ever do is have people watch after me?”

            Minki smiled, but his ears had given way at the mention of Dongho.

            “I trust you, who else would leave me and almost die and then be willing to accept me so fast? You’re an angel, Jonghyun.” he admitted.
            “And that’s coming from a real angel.”
            “Stop that. No matter what happens to you, you always have to be a flirt.”
            “It’s my way of coping, Princess.”

            Minki placed his forehead against his, placing a peck on the healthy skin there. His lips lingered for a while before he assumed his previous position, his face in Jonghyun’s neck and his pinkish lips against his exposed earlobe.

            “I love you, Ren. I don’t care what you’ve done, or haven’t done. I wouldn’t care what you looked like if something like this would happen to you. Though I’d probably have mutilated myself so you didn’t have to suffer alone. I love you and I mean it. God, I sound so cliche.”
            “Stop that. I’m sorry.” He moved closer more. “I’m sorry for what I did. Or didn’t do, however you want to put it.” He set a hand across Jonghyun’s chest lightly, careful not to hurt him. “Or all I’ll ever do. I don’t know why I do it; it’s probably my ego, if I’ve ever had one.”
            “You don’t have an ego, you have wings.” Jonghyun smiled.
            “That’s what I mean. You just feed my ego, you fool.” he shuddered in pleasant delight. “I love you,” he continued. “And I’m not letting you out of my sight after this. Whatever comes, I’ll be there. I promise.”

            With that, it was true. Everything they had said, they had meant. Jonghyun hadn’t lied, and though Minki withheld the truth somewhat, he agreed. If they could have seen the inside of the other at that time, they would have noticed their hearts racing in near perfect unison as they fell in love again. To think they could have stayed apart was a mistake that the both of them had made; they knew they had loved each other. They were stubborn, however, yet they knew exactly what the other had meant.

            Minki’s promise was one that he was sure to keep. Perhaps it would look strange to everyone outside of the hospital room, minus the nurse of course, but he hadn’t minded much. He would follow him wherever he went, sure to keep him far from threat or illusion.

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Comments

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reyaakoh
#1
Chapter 36: Dang!!! This is soooooo
Really.... can't tell anything aside, very good story
Mishtique
#2
Chapter 36: Give me a minute to recover please
Omona_
#3
Okay, so this was not what I expected at all when I started reading this. I don't know what I did expect, but yeah, this was not it. Don't get me wrong, I didn't dislike it although few things bothered me (as in made me wonder why did such things happen, why Han had to get rid of them all for an instance). I literally skipped through the words as fast as I could, resulting me to curse under my breath as I had to reread some parts to actually realize what was going on. But wow. Wasn't that a story. My mind isn't even functioning properly after this, sorry if I make no sense.
shinile #4
I'm dying thx
sweetcandy65
#5
Congrats on getting advertised! :D
nuitfae
#6
Congrats~~~
ichigojamu
#7
congratulations :)
--hummingbirds
#8
congrats :)
Wasurenagusa #9
Omg, congrats. I' m so happy for u. I remenber reading this years ago.
SuperYixing #10
congrats babe