Jonghyun was sleeping. Minki held his face in his hands as he sobbed almost silently. He tried not to think of however Jonghyun would happen to look after the bandages were removed. His mind wandered to the previous night, Dongho’s pistol feet from his forehead. They talked for awhile, and before he knew it, he was gone in a bloody mess at his feet. Why hadn’t he told anyone what had happened yet? That should have been the very first thing on his list of priorities. He looked up from his hands as one of the three nurses from before had entered. He glanced at her only once before she spoke.

            “You’ve been here for hours like that.” she observed as she pulled a small piece of the larger bandage from Jonghyun’s injured arm, checking the skin underneath. She winced at it and replaced it, moving towards the door. “You should come with me. I’ll get you cleaned up. You must be cold.” She gestured to his still bare chest. Minki looked to the floor and then to his boyfriend. The nurse came to him, taking his hand and he stood with her.  As they left the room, his eyes didn’t leave Jonghyun in his restless slumber until he could not see him anymore.

            “What’s your name?” she asked him. The keys around her wrist clanked together as they walked with aim down the corridor, though he’d had no idea where she was taking him. He would willing go wherever she had planned.
            “Ren.” was all he could say. His face was sunken, almost, his normally perked eyes drooped and his back ached. Every time he blinked he could remember the conversation, the gun, the look on his face, the blood. He forced his eyes open. They stopped at a door without a label. As she opened it, a lavish hospital room came into view, complete with a large television, a small refrigerator and an air conditioner; perhaps she had spent so much time at the hospital that she’d made a home for herself there. Not minding where he was, Minki stepped into the bathroom, eager to wash his face and hair.

            The nurse lent against the doorframe and watched him. “Ren, I like your name.”
                Minki nodded as he took the towel on the bar next to the sink in his hands, drying his face. His white hair was still tinted a bright red. “Thank you.” he bowed. “I’m sorry for being so rude. It’s just been,”
            “A long day?” she finished his sentence.

            Minki nodded, taking a seat on the bed in the middle of the room without asking. The nurse stood in front of him still. His mind was blank except for the occasional thought of Dongho. The woman took a seat next to him, his hand underneath her own.

            “I’ll listen to you. I wouldn’t be surprised if your friend doesn’t remember today after he wakes up.” She was godawful honest. Minki wriggled in his skin. “It’s hard, I know. You can talk to me.”

            It took much of Minki’s will to nod in agreement and speak. He choked his words up with a cough. Knowing she could hardly judge him now, he split one of his only two secrets to her. His body shook as he did so, immediately regretting what he had done, though he knew that it had to be done; it was the only way he’d come to terms with the last day himself.

            “Jonghyun,” he began. He was silent for several seconds as he took a shaky breath in and finished his sentence. “No one can know. I love him.” Minki bit down hard on his lips. He felt her eyes on the side of his face, but they weren’t hard; soft. “So many things are my fault, all because of it. We fought, and then Baekho,” he paused again. Another tear fell as he continued. “Baekho.” he repeated. “Baekho thought he loved me; I don’t know why. But keeping it from Jonghyun drove him so crazy. And then Aaron,” he didn’t take a breath. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He was so pissed. He’s been fighting with Jonghyun for a week now, and nobody’ll tell me why!” his voice grew louder by the second.

            “Take it slow, I’m listening.” she reassured him.

            “I fought with him.” he thought. “Jonghyun was so mad at me that he left. I don’t know where he went. He thought I’d done something with him: Baekho. So when he left I thought the worst thing. I thought that if I’d actually done with him what he thought I did, then I’d somehow feel better about it. I thought he’d come back. I was so ing stupid.”

            Minki’s cheeks fell back in his palms as the tears pooled on the tile below him, but he didn’t stop talking. He needed to get every little detail off of his chest, or he felt as if he would have combusted; metaphorically or as physically as possible.

            “He did come back, but not how I wanted. Baekho told Aaron everything. I’m just glad Minhyun doesn’t think anything bad of me. But Baekho knew I didn’t like him like that at all. But he put his life on my shoulders. I couldn’t help him. I don’t know why he did anything to himself. I don’t know who told him to do any of it. He was always the one to never stop smiling. It makes me want to light a fire under my own for not noticing what the problem was. If we wouldn’t have kept anything from anyone, none of this would have happened. I don’t know how long he kept it from anyone, I didn’t even know he had a gun. Where’d he get that gun?”

            The thoughts throbbed in his head. He took a breath, and the woman took him in her arms.

            “Is Baekho okay?”
            Minki shook his head.
            “Do you know where he is?”
            He shook his head again.
            “Is that whose blood this is?”

            Minki sobbed deeply into her dress. He didn’t know what else to say, though he did know that her next question would have asked where he was, but he couldn’t answer that either. To his surprise, she didn’t question him. He pulled at her shoulders and sat up on his own.

            “I think Jonghyun knows that you didn’t mean what you did.” the nurse told him matter of factly. “He’d been asking for you since he got here. Even when he couldn’t remember what his own name was. It’s my idea that he didn’t mean those things. He loves you, Ren.”

            Minki nodded his head in her shoulder.

---

            Aaron rested his elbow against the window as they drove. He was only half glad that Dongho’s parents no longer lived on Jeju, and half stupid, he thought, for leaving the car in the parking lot. He didn’t join the conversation between Minhyun and Joonkin; he only thought.

            What had he done, exactly? He hadn’t killed him himself, so why was he hiding him? Come to think of it, who was he hiding him from? He thought of Minki. He must have already told someone. To his surprise, Joonkin’s cell phone hadn’t rung once during the long car ride. Thanking the heavens that no one had noticed anything too suspicious, he sat quietly, still not talking. He shifted in his seat.

            Soon, the car would start to smell. Someone would walk past it, and report a horrid stench. Someone would find that suspicious. Someone would pry the trunk open or call the police. Someone would be framed for murder. Aaron shifted again, turning to look at the others. He’d hoped that their visit with Dongho’s parents wouldn’t last too long. He had to put him somewhere.

            Aaron’s stomach growled, but not hungrily. His insides ached at the thought of a dead body baking in his trunk, and he wanted nothing more than to either vomit or tell the world what he’d done. He was completely and utterly disgusted with himself, but he knew what he wanted. He knew that if Dongho went on, that his feelings for Minki would have relished. He couldn’t have had that, could he?

            Of course, he could have left him there. He could have allowed people to find him, and throw him in a prison cell for doing what he did. At least then he wouldn’t be bothered by Minki’s beauty. The thought of him, Minhyun and Jonghyun (if he had ever been back to working again) carrying NU’EST on without he or Dongho was what kept him quiet. Then, the realization had come upon him that the group would never be the same. What would the fans think? Where would they have said he’d gone? Would Pledis try and hunt him down? What would they do when they’d found out, if ever, what had actually happened that night?

            His mind raced more and as he tried to ignore the last bit of empathy left in his heart, he turned back to Joonkin.

            “Could we stop somewhere to eat? I’m starving.”