Everywhere you looked online, you could see your picture in various stages of vandalism. You laughed bitterly at a particularly well done one where the graphic designer had drawn a mustache, unibrow and devil’s horns. Lovely really. These fans truly had great imagination.

 There was a picture of you standing next to Jongup. He was smiling and his hand was on top of your head, hovering because he was in the middle of putting bunny years. One fan had used Photoshop to erase one finger and now it looked as if he was throwing a rude gesture at the camera. Another had taken the same photo and dropped a bomb on your head. Oh, you were just loving it.

            You bit down on your lips. You and Jongup have been going out ever since high school but the fans didn’t know. It was only because of one careless mistake that had sparked an uproar. He had decided to take you out. Rather than disguising himself or make himself appear as inconspicuous as possible, he had just been himself.

            The fans had recognized him from outside the bakery. They waited outside and Jongup had hugged you. The fans had snapped pictures and even though he never came out that you were dating, they had guessed. Pictures of you weren’t hard to find, especially in this media oriented world.

            There had been multiple articles, speculating whether the two of you were actually dating. Then someone had anonymously commented that the two of you had been close in school. Overnight, the entire fandom exploded. There were the mature fans, of course, but the ones who raged overcame the ones who supported you.

            You shouldn’t let it bother you. Jongup was what mattered. But you let it affect you. Every day, you couldn’t help but cringe as the hate pictures earned more reblogs, more likes. It hurt. You deleted everything that was accessible to the outside world and when Jongup asked why, you didn’t respond. These fan girls never had to worry. Their “oppas” don’t know that these sites existed.

            You knew that if you told Jongup, he would make a fuss over it and you did not need the entire fandom hating you even more. So you suffered in your silence and tried to put on a brave front for Jongup.

            You looked up from your homework. You heard your doorbell ring. You pulled the door open, thinking it was your brother, back from college to visit on one of his spontaneous drop-ins. Instead, Jongup was standing there. He was still dressed in his clothes from a performance and looked angry. You jumped back.

            He let himself in and closed the door. “Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice sounded hurt, as if he was in pain.

            “Tell you what?”

            “The fans. I know there was a rumor that we were going out, but I never realized they would take it this far. Youngjae showed me the internet posts. He’s into that stuff and found it. Why didn’t you tell me?” Jongup’s hand reached up to touch your face.

            You cringed away. “How did you expect me to tell you? You’re so busy with your comeback. Besides, it’s all speculations. They don’t know for a fact. Might as well keep it that way, don’t we?”

            He shook his head. “No, are you insane? If you’re getting hurt, you have to tell me. You can’t just keep it to yourself. The moment I found out, I ran out of the studio.”

            “You shouldn’t have. I kept it a secret so you wouldn’t do this very thing. I don’t need you throwing away a career that you had worked so hard to achieve, okay? Go back. Now. Please.”

            His eyes flashed. “You’re being unreasonable. You know I would never let you suffer alone. Are you doing this now to make me feel bad?”

            You gave him an incredulous stare. “I’m making you feel bad? I’m doing this for your sake, you dumb fool! Why in the world would I want to hurt you?”

            “Then you tell me. Don’t make this decision to be a martyr and do it all by yourself. I need you to open up and be honest with me.”

            “How about you leave? This isn’t going to work. I look out for your career and you accuse me of wanting to be some sort of martyr. We’re over, Jongup.” You met his eyes levelly, knowing in your heart that this was what you had to do.

            His mouth dropped open. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

            You opened the door and pointed at the streets outside. “Leave. We’re done.” The implications of what you were doing was slowly starting to settle in but you didn’t want to give yourself time to regret anything.

            Jongup turned his head to give you one last look and you remained adamant. You kept your finger pointed at the outside. He sighed. “I’ll see you around.” That was it. End of a four year relationship. It was an end to your one reason of happiness. All your attempts at trying to keep things a secret, rendered futile with this simple move. Somehow, it almost didn’t matter. After all, his career still came first for you.

            You didn’t give yourself time to cry. You threw yourself into studying and work with a renewed passion. You didn’t hear from him and you blocked all the hateful pictures. It didn’t matter anyway. You were over. You were surprised at your stoic appearance.

            “Hey,” your friend called you. “Watch B.A.P live. Do it.” She was the only one who knew about your relationship.

            “No. I’m done.”

            “You think you’re done. I would watch this if I were you.”

            Your curiosity was piqued. You stumbled over to your computer and watched the concert that was currently streaming. Jongup was in the middle of a speech.

            “-have been together for over four years. I want all Babys to accept her. If you can accept me, you need to love the people I come with. I perform for Babys because I know they will always support me and will always be behind my every decision. And so I ask you guys now to once more not let me down. I’m going to ask all our fans to come together with us and help me with this one task. Can we please erase all the hateful pictures on the internet and help me get the love of my life back?”

fangirl breakup request

okay, this is it. No. More. Fangirl. Rage.

I am done. It's been great writing the three-four stories with it.

I'm done. There's not much spin I can put to them. So I would appreciate it if in the next request, this no longer shows up.