Hey my brave Warrior,

            How’s the army treating you these days, honey? I know you’re just trying to make your father and grandfather proud, but did you really have to enlist when there was a war going on? Your stories of your chores and the training are funny, but really. Are you keeping anything from me?  I miss you and so do the kids. Come back soon. Please.

                                                      사랑해

            Yongguk tucked the letter into his pocket and smiled. He received daily letters and sometimes, she would send long rambly letters. Other times, they were just short pieces, a slice of her life, and he treasured them all.

            Himchan grunted and sat down next to him. “It’s rough isn’t it?”  He took a drink from his canteen and wiped the dirt from his eyes. “I swear, if I have to hear another bomb go off, I’m going to go insane.

            Yongguk was silent. Her letter had touched upon something important. She knew him way too well. Of course she wouldn’t buy the happiness he had tried to pour into his letters back. Of course she could tell that he was hiding something. But she was also smart enough to know that if she asked him outright, he wouldn’t tell her.

            He toyed with his own water bottle and suddenly a piercing alarm rang in the air. The men around them scrambled up and they jumped to attention, waiting for instructions.

            “There has been an air raid. We have to go and do damage control,” the announcement blared. Himchan and Yongguk looked at one another. They nodded silently and got into the tanks to lead out the first batch of soldiers.

            It was the third air raid in days. Each time, they arrived in time to see the planes leaving and houses burning. Screams and women in anguish filled the air. Yongguk jumped out of the car and entered a house carefully. A woman who looked shockingly like his wife was clinging onto her bleeding son.

            “Do something!” she screamed and tugged on his pants. A piece of the baby’s skull dropped to the ground. Yongguk pulled out bandages and try to help the baby.

            “Himchan, tell the doctor!” he knew that the boy was perhaps beyond rescue but the look on her face. Her sharp cheekbones and the sweep of her hair reminded him so much of his own wife. He couldn’t leave her to reality. The doctor rushes in and Yongguk leaves, not willing to hear the older man tell her the truth; her son would never survive.

            That night, Yongguk got drunk. He got drunk in a completely, out of his mind, totally wasted, one hundred percent trashed way. Himchan walked out of the tent and touches his shoulder. “Yongguk.”

            Sobs wrack his voice. “Why? Why can’t the North just leave us alone? I can’t keep going on. Every woman I see becomes my wife, every child I see is mine. I can’t. I’m going to go insane.”

            “Drop out. You came on voluntarily. We can’t have you breaking down and losing control like this. Drop. We won’t call you a deserter. You joined on your own accord. Leave.”

            The alcohol was getting to him. Yongguk shook his head. “I can’t. She won’t understand. Help me in. I need to sleep.” That night he dreamt of bleeding babies, screaming women and bombs going off everywhere.

            I heard about the air raid. Yongguk. Please, don’t take it too harshly, please. When you’re out there, think of how much we need you. Please. Keep your head on straight. I don’t need you without your life.

            On a happier note, Yongwon is at the top of his class and Kyuri spoke her first word yesterday! She said, ‘appa,’ so be proud. I’m jealous. I take care of her every day and she still only think of you. Keke, it’s okay. Because I only think of you as well.

                                                                                                                        사랑해

            Her letters were bundled in a special pile and kept in a pocket he had Himchan help him sew into his uniform. They rested against his heart. He smiled at the picture she had included. She was holding their daughter and their son were running into the frame, clearly goofing off just a few seconds ago. He traced her face and noticed how ­thin she looked.

            I’m well enough. Are you? You look tired in that picture. Take care of yourself. Don’t be stubborn. Let my mother take care of the kids if you really need help. Quit work for a while. You’re already so established. Please take care of yourself so I can smile at you when I get back.

                                                                                                                        Yonggukkie

            The war continued. Her letters continued. But soon, the letters seemed hurried. They lacked the personal touch of their everyday life. Instead, it was her reassuring him that he would be fine and that he should love the kids. Her letters became shorter, but the messages deeper.

            Yongguk,

            If you think you can’t live without me, think of me. Think of how much I mean to you and how much the kids mean to you. Think of the kids. Focus on the kids, and love them.

            Yongguk, when you come back, learn to forgive. Learn because being angry at your enemies is just as bad as being angry at your loved ones. You were meant to be caring and forgiving. Please. Just forgive and remember, I will always be here for you.

            When the war finally ended, he had a stack of letters from her that came up to his knee. Himchan threw himself at the commander once the surrender was announced. “We can go back now! Woohoo, no more having to live in fear, no more having to miss our families. Are you excited?” It was a delirious happiness, the type that comes from relief after trauma.

            Yongguk smiles and pictures his wife’s embrace. He could smell her scent and feel her touch lingering on his body. “Sir?” a well-dressed officer walks up to him. In his hands is a box with purple velvet covering it.

            Yongguk takes it, noting the officer’s grim face. He opens the box and all his dreams died. There was a lock of hair, and an obituary.

            Bang _____, loving wife and mother, passed away November 1. She was known for her heartfelt love for everyone in the community and will be missed. She is survived by her husband and two young children.

            November 1 was three months ago. Yongguk’s hands trembled. He searched the boz. There was also a letter.

            I’m sorry. I found out when you left. I know how hard war can be, so I didn’t tell you. It was lung cancer. I always thought it was asthma, but I guess I was wrong, for the first time in my life. I’m going to write to you every day. I promise. Every day. Even when I’m no longer here. The babies don’t know, but your mom is prepared to explain everything to them when I leave.

            I’m sorry I couldn’t wait until you come back. The war is long, but I have a year’s worth of letters written just for you. I’m sorry. Remember, forgiveness. Please forgive me and love our children. They’ll need you.

                                                                                                                                    사랑해

            Yongguk dropped to his knees and pressed the letter into his chest. He cried and Himchan knelt next to him, both unable to voice the loss they felt. Casualties happen in war. Yongguk had come to accept it. But this, this was too much.

Im sorry if I went a little out of my depth here. Yongguk angst request, with picture. yeah and the font got all messed up

ARGH RAGES and format

too tired to retype everything microsoft word is acting dumb

sorry ><

this is not cool