[CONTENTID1]02[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]Feelings of Regret[/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3]

Feelings of regret… I never thought of those words before, not until today.

I was living with my parents, being the rich kid; I never had any care for the world.

I was always nagging, asking them for things I can never have. I never even bothered to thank them for anything, much less say “I love you.”

Money was all they gave me, not love.  They left me to feed, clothe, and care for myself.  That’s how I became who I am now: rebellious.

Things have always been like that since the very first day I was born, I presume.

We were always doing separate things: My father owns a company and my mother was a nurse. Me? A high school dropout.

Things never seemed to change. Not even when I told them I was leaving them for good.

The day I announced that I was leaving, I wasn’t thinking straight. We just had a fight about how things were not going their way.

It was always all about them. All they cared about was their reputation, not a single thought of what I wanted.

That’s what I have grown to believe.

“I hate you guys! You were never there for me when I needed you most!”

“Look, we’re sorry that we’ve been so busy but-”

“But WHAT?! You can’t even skip a day to come drop me off on my first day of school?! Or even be home to have dinner or spend time with me?! All you guys ever cared about were yourselves! How others view you!”

 “You never shed any kind of moral support for the things I have done… not even when I walked the aisles for my elementary graduation. You guys never showed up….”  Tears were now welling up in my eyes.

“Sunggyu, you know we have always cared about you. We try our best to provide everything to make you happy. Please, we’re really sorry that we have not been able to be there for you in your glorious moments. Things just come up unexpectedly. We can’t change that fact.” My dad stated.

“Then, don’t worry about me anymore.” I wiped my tears away.

“What?” My mother asked in a whisper, barely audible.

“I said you don’t have to worry about me or my happiness. I’m leaving.”

“Sunggyu, wait-” Before I could hear his words, I slammed the door.

That was my last memory of them.

I never wanted to see them for the rest of my life. I didn’t even care about what would happen to them anymore.

Not until a single phone call. It changed everything.

“Kim Sunggyu-sshi?” I heard someone say on the other line.

“Yes, this is him, speaking.” I replied.

“We’re sorry to inform you but,” She paused for a moment. “Your parents… they got into an accident and-”

I dropped my cellphone. I was speechless from what I just heard. I thought I didn’t care about them. What is this feeling deep inside of me?

I cried for the rest of the day and wished that it was all a dream. This isn’t what I wished for.

I woke up and recognized relatives and family friends crying and comforting each other. All of them were wearing black.

I guess it wasn’t a dream.

I cried again and screamed to the top of my lungs.

“Don’t go! Don’t leave me! I was wrong, so please…. Come back!”

I have never thought that I would feel regret for the rest of my life.

That is, until today, as I came back to Seoul, visiting their grave for the first year of their death anniversary.

“Mom, Dad. I was never a good kid and I never got to tell you guys these words, but…”

“I love you.”

"Honey, please pick up the kids from school." 

"Sure. I'll be out after I finish this." I responded.

"Dongwoo, please. You can finish that later. The kids have been waiting for 30 minutes now." 

“Fine. I’ll be back then.” I kissed her cheek and got the car keys.

“I love you.” She whispered.

“Love you too.” Then I went out and started to drive off.

“Kids. I thought they would be fun to play with.” I mumbled as I drove by, seeing children play in the park.

“I never knew they were so… Ah, there they are.” I cut off my words as I s