I didn’t notice how long I was awake. But when I stared at the digital clock, it said that it was only 11:20 PM.

Just an hour ago, we decided on our sleeping arrangements. Jiyong’s dad was a bit surprised when Jiyong openly said that we share one bed. I was too shocked. What was with Jiyong tonight? Openly admitting things to his dad. This made me very embarrassed that Dami was just giggling while staring at me blush.

“Dad, I guess the sofa is alright with you, neh?” Jiyong had said.

Jiyong’s dad was about to agree but I had interrupted them. “Ji! He’s your dad,” I had turned to his father. “Sir, I’m sorry for your son’s attitude. It’s alright if you take the bed with your son and daughter. I will take the sofa instead.”

“No,” Jiyong and his Appa simultaneously had said.

“I’m alright here outside actually, as long as Dami can sleep comfortably,” Jiyong’s dad had said. “Oh, and stop calling me Sir. I feel so old. Call me Appa instead.”

“Appa?” I had whispered.

“Oh, is it okay now, then, Dara?” Jiyong had asked. “So, we can sleep now, neh? Dami can take the floor.”

I had whipped my head towards him. “You can’t do that to your sister!”

“It’s fine with her, right, Dami?” Jiyong had said, turning to his little sister.

Dami looked like she was going to cry. “Oppa, I can’t sleep on the floor.”

“Dami,” Jiyong had said, on his warning tone.

“Jiyong, let her sleep with you,” I had said, using my warning tone, too.

“But Dara…”

“No buts…” I had said, pressing my index finger on his lips. I then went to our bed and grabbed a pillow. I neatly placed the cushion from the cabinet and settled myself in it. “Good night, Dami and Jiyong,” I had then faced Jiyong’s dad…err…Appa. “Good night, Appa.”

And that brought us to our current situation. I stared at the clock again. It was already 1:35 AM. Time flew so fast but I wasn’t sleepy yet.

I guess I was just too preoccupied with random thoughts. And not to mention, Jiyong’s dad telling me to call him Appa.

Appa. I missed Appa… and Omma too. I wished they were alive instead. If they were, would I be on the same situation, though? Would fate let me cross the same path as I was crossing right now?

But, heck! I missed them so bad. I missed every outing we had out-of-town. We were a happy family back then, loving and caring for each other. Our house used to be lively day and night. Appa and Omma always had time for me.

I thought we would always be like that, happy as ever, maybe happier as each day passed by. But, I remembered one day when I received a call from Appa that Omma and Appa were going to fetch me from school so that we will go and eat outside because it was their anniversary, I was so happy then that I couldn’t wait to be fetched. I was giddy then, thinking of the dinner awaiting us after school.

I remembered waiting in vain. I had been waiting in front of the school gate for two hours. No one came. I thought they were just caught in a bad traffic. But they weren’t. A police car suddenly stopped in front of me.

“Are you Sandara Park?” the cop had asked me.

I had nodded in response, suddenly scared and anticipating on what news he had with him.

“Your parents met an accident,” the cop had said.

I remembered that my books fell to the ground as I stared at him in utter shock. Somehow, I wished he would have told me that my parents would wake up soon, that they just had some minor scratches or bruises. But what I missed and the thing that made me not want to hear his next words were the look on his eyes. I remembered him looking sorry for me.

“Your mother was declared dead on arrival,” the cop had continued.

I remembered just standing there, not daring to move, convincing myself that I just misheard his words.

“And your father was in a critical state. Currently he’s in a coma,” he continued.

I remembered the sting I felt in my eyes. I remembered the tears forming in my eyes and how they fell endlessly until my vision got blurry.

I remembered feeling my knees wobbly until they gave up and fell to the ground.

I remembered them all. I never forgot them. They were and had always been in the back of my mind, trying my hardest not to remember them. And tonight, the walls I had built crumbled until the painful memory materialized in my mind again.

Tonight, my heart ached as I once again felt the feeling of being alone. My breathing was uneven as I once again felt grieved over my parents’ deaths. My whole system was shaking as I felt the cold night caving me in as if telling me there will be no one who could comfort me in times like this.

An arm draped over my waist as it pulled me towards the source of it. I felt the familiar hard chest in front of me. I felt the heart beating against my face. I felt the warmth brought about by the body pressing against me.

My eyes fluttered open as they stung from tears. I wiped them away as I sobbed louder, not minding if I would be able to wake anyone up, because right now, whatever I did, however I kept these feelings and emotions to myself, he would know – Jiyong would know – immediately what was wrong.

For a while now, as I planned, I would cry myself to sleep, because I thought by doing just that, I would feel less burdened. I would be able to be less hurt. But what did it cause me?

I was a fool for thinking about that. I was a fool for thinking that I could get through this alone, that I was, in fact, alone. But, no. I was a fool for not considering Jiyong. I knew he would be by my side, always.

I cuddled towards him as I wrapped my arm around him. He did the same as he enveloped me in a tight embrace, assuring me that I was not, in fact, alone. Assuring me that he was, in fact, with me… through it all.

“Sssh…” he shushed me as I wailed. “I’m here. I will always be.”

And we stayed like that for the whole night, until we both drifted to oblivion, both wrapped in each other’s arms.

-

“You alright?” Jiyong’s voice broke my reverie. I looked up at him and smiled. He handed me a lollipop. “You seem to need Daddy-Long-Legs again.”

I chuckled lightly as I tear the lollipop’s wrapper.

“I don’t need anyone else…” I trailed off and waited for his reaction.

“Ouch,” he said, clutching on his heart in a very dramatic way.

“I don’t need anyone else but you,” I continued.

He smiled at me and wrapped me into his arms. We stared at the sky together as we embraced each other. We were silent for a while.

When I woke up that morning, I saw Jiyong beside me, still hugging me to him. I almost forgot how we ended up on the floor, but when I stood up and saw Dami lying on our bed, it all came back to me.

I seemed to forget what happened last night. It turned out I was crying by myself remembering my parents when Jiyong joined me on the floor. Well, being in his arms made me feel comfortable made me feel secured and unburdened that I did not feel any burdens with me. That was the effect of Jiyong in me. He lifted my spirits up even on my downfall.

When this morning I saw Jiyong still snoring lightly, I decided to stroll outside the apartment and just sit alone on the bench. Everyone still seemed to be asleep as it was still six in the morning. I was surprised though when Jiyong arrived.

“You did not wake me up,” Jiyong opened.

“You were sleeping so deeply, I can’t disturb you,” I said.

“Do you want to be alone?”

I shook my head. “I want to be with you.”

A smile tugged his lips. “Can I ask you a question?” he asked. I lifted my head towards him as I anticipated. “Why were you crying last night?”

I didn’t respond. I just stared at him.

“A nightmare?” he suggested.

I shook my head.

He thought for a while. His face then lit up. “I know!”

“What?” I asked him.

“You were jealous because I slept with Dami instead of you, neh?” he said, a smile was plastered in his face.

I punched his chest and leaned away from his embrace. I knew he was just trying to make me smile. And he was successful like he was when he acted as Daddy-Long-Legs.

“Oh, was I right?” he asked again, leaning to me, anticipatively.

I leaned away more, my arms crossing over my chest. “Conceited Ji. Conceited.”

“Well, at least it was true,” he said, smugly.

I shot him a glare. He was still smiling smugly. I was holding my glare until we both burst out laughing.

When our laughter subsided, he pulled me back to another hug. “But, seriously, what happened last night?”

I pouted. It was not like I did not want to tell it to him, I didn’t know. Perhaps I just wanted to keep it to myself, to go through it alone. But, part of me wanted to tell it to him too because I also wanted to feel somebody’s warmth and presence with me, so I wouldn’t want to be felt dejected and alone. Yeah, I was too dependent on people, on him. How many times had I been telling about that?

But since the time I decided to stand on my own feet and work on that damned club, I also decided to not always depend on him. But, look at what it led me to. It always led me to his arms, it always turned out that I still needed him with me.

“Dara?” he called, worried.

“Well…” I trailed off. “…seeing you and your family reminds me of-“

“You and your family back then,” he continued.

I stared at him and nodded. “Last night, seeing you with them, I started to get jealous,” I said truthfully. “But I didn’t want to spoil your night. It was your celebration, anyways, and-“

“OUR celebration,” Jiyong cut me off. “Seriously, Dara, it was our celebration. You also graduated. So, stop limiting it with-“

“Fine, fine,” I cut him off too. “Well, I was saying that, it was OUR celebration anyway, so I didn’t want to spoil it. I put on the mask I had and tried to be happy for you. But, you already know, perhaps, that I failed miserably, right?”

He nodded. “You are an open book, Dara. I can easily read you. But at times, I fail to see through you, like when you successfully hid the secret of working on that club.”

I nodded. “Perhaps you’re right. But, yeah, I tried keeping it to myself and decided to just silently cry alone last night. Turned out you were listening to my cries.”

“That’s right,” he said. “I couldn’t just sit back and watch you suffer alone. You have me. I would always stay with you, even though how many times you push me away. Remember the Daddy-Long-Legs days?” he asked. I chuckled in response. “Always remember that, arasso? Never keep it to yourself. It’s not healthy. I will always be ready to listen to you, okay?”

I smiled up at him and gave him a peck on the lips.

Jiyong – the sweetest person I had ever met. Seriously. He made it hard to be independent.

-

We were standing in front of the biggest mansion I had ever seen. It was very magnificent. I couldn’t even believe I was able to see it with my own eyes while I was alive.

I didn’t even notice that my mouth was agape until Jiyong placed his fingers on my chin and closed my mouth.

“You’ll get drool on the ground,” he said.

But I was still too busy admiring the impressive architecture in front of me to even snap a sarcastic remark to him. Instead I stuttered. “D-Do you live here?”

He shook his head. “We live under the same roof, remember? So, practically, no, I don’t live here.”

I mentally slapped my forehead. I was too preoccupied to even think of that.

“Only my Grandma does. She just bought it because she finally decided to settle herself here in Seoul permanently.”

I nodded.

“And we’re living here now,” Jiyong’s Dad said. Yes, I still called him Jiyong’s Dad or Jiyong’s Appa or sometimes, Sir, much to his disappointment. It just didn’t make me comfortable calling him Appa.

“We’re living here?!” I exclaimed turning to him.

Jiyong, Dami, and their Appa laughed all together. I stared at them in confusion. What the heck was funny?

“Only me and Dami are living here with Jiyong’s Grandma,” Jiyong’s Dad explained. “Seriously, you’re scared of his Grandma, right? Just now, you were pale-faced and shaking.”

This time, I slapped my forehead for real. Why did my brain not work better during this time, eh? Aish!

“Anyway, let’s go in,” Jiyong invited.

I did not move from my spot even though Jiyong urged me to do so.

“What’s the problem?” he asked.

“I’m going home instead. Go on,” I said, shooing them away. I was too anxious. Jiyong’s Appa was right. I was scared. What will happen if his Grandma won’t like me? Omo~

“Grandma will like you,” Jiyong said, as if reading my mind. Was I that open of a book? Aish! With no other choice, I let Jiyong lead me inside.

If the outside was amazing, the interior was more than that, I couldn’t even place it into proper words. The mansion was too grand, too beautiful. I was even afraid of stepping inside it, afraid that my dirty feet would stain the tiled floor. My eyes roamed as they take in the beauty they hadn’t seen since birth.

“You’re here,” a voice interrupted my train of thoughts.

All eyes were switched to the source where a classy lady stood. She looked like nearing her eighties, but there was still some kind of glow on her face. But there was a scowl when her eyes finally landed to me. Maybe she immediately spotted the eyesore in a group of perfect people. It was like playing a spot-the-difference on a children’s book.

A smile tugged her lips and her brow lifted. At that moment, I wanted to rewind time and immediately run away the moment Jiyong, Dami, and their Dad started entering the mansion. But, of course, I couldn’t do that.

“You seem to have brought with you a lost puppy,” she started to speak.

Those words stabbed me. She directed it to me, I was sure. I didn’t think twice, it was not like she directed it to her family, right?

At that time, one of my feet already stepped back, more determined to leave the place as fast I could. But a hand tugged my arm and stopped me. I looked up at Jiyong who was staring directly at his Grandma.

“I would like you to meet my girlfriend, Grandma,” Jiyong said. My eyes popped. Was he serious? “This is Sandara Park.”

Oh, yeah. He was serious.

I was already introduced to her. Yeah. So, I didn’t have a choice but to greet her. “Annyeong haseyo, I am Sandara Park. Pleased to meet you,” I said, bowing.

“Interesting,” she just said.

-

The dinner didn’t go very well. I couldn’t even swallow properly, couldn’t even look at any of them, and couldn’t even breathe normally. It was like I was observed by some piercing eyes inside the room. My heart was beating erratically the whole time. I wanted to leave immediately.

Jiyong’s Grandma was observing my every move, insulting me, and saying some sarcastic remarks. I couldn’t find my voice to answer each of them though. I remained silent the whole time. I swore I thought that my tears were already spilling from my sockets, but no. They were held back. I didn’t know that I was becoming an expert on this field.

“So, why can’t you talk, Miss Sandara Park? Did my grandson here choose a mute as his girlfriend?”

Even if she did that, I remained silent the whole time, not wanting to risk any wrong move. I might have snap back at her and lose control if I would open my mouth. And that was the last thing I wanted to do. Of course, I wanted to give a good impression. But right now, I didn’t think I was giving her a good impression. I honestly did not know what to do.

As for Jiyong, Jiyong’s Appa, and Dami, they were silent as well. It looked like this Ahjumma here gave out a very authoritative aura that it scared even her family.

“Aren’t you going to talk, eh? What if I’ll say that I don’t like-“

A pair of hands slammed hard on the table as all eyes were on Jiyong – fuming and red in anger. Uh-oh.

---------

*poster credits to may_cassie