JIYONG’S POV

The official engagement went on smoothly. I hate to admit it, but while I was with Taeyeon in front of the crowd, I was waiting for Dara to interrupt us in the middle of me putting an engagement ring on Taeyeon’s finger. I knew I was the guy and guys usually do the first move.

But with the complicated situation I was in plus the last will of Grandma which I felt the need to be fulfilled, plus Dara’s cold treatment to me and the conversation we had last night, I couldn’t help to think that Dara had given up on me, on us. I couldn’t help it but to think that she didn’t really love and care for me in the beginning.

What we had was something inseparable. As corny as it may sound, it was true. I had always thought it was true love. Again, I don’t care if people find it corny.

Seeing her indifference towards this event made me think that she had given up already. Actually, I should have thought about it for seven years already. The fact that she left me just like that was already a proof that she had already let go, already given up. Who was I to go against her decision?

So as I was hesitantly placing the ring on Taeyeon’s finger, my eyes wandered among the crowd, looking for her. And there she was, just standing, staring straight at me, her face expressionless.

Given this, I had placed the ring on Taeyeon’s finger.

Right now, it was dinner. As a family, we were in one table. Taeyeon was on my right, Dara was beside her and Dami was beside Dara. Dami was supposed to sit beside Appa who was on my left. But she insisted on sitting next to Dara. Taeyeon’s mother and father was then left with no choice but to sit beside Appa, leaving the one between Taeyeon’s father and Dami an empty seat.

Taeyeon and Dara’s grandfather wasn’t there. I asked Taeyeon where he was and she said he was on the hospital, again.

I was getting uncomfortable as Appa and Dara were having a conversation about Dara’s life in Japan, how she became a designer and how her businesses, like the boutiques and cafes, were running. By the sound of it, she had been living the life she wanted, as a designer. I never even thought that she would put up cafes and boutique. Knowing how she didn’t want to be assisted by her grandfather, I guessed she wanted to earn her own money.

But what made me mad though was the fact that she still went with her grandfather. Now, I wasn’t against them being a family, alright? It was just that, if she went with her grandfather, she might have accepted the business and be the one to look after it as her grandfather’s heiress, right? In that way, we would be the one to get married. It would have been better.

I mentally smacked my head. I was becoming selfish. She made me into this.

I sighed deeply as their conversation went on to how Dara was able to work with international fashion designers. I wasn’t really paying attention but I was listening on how they conversed to each other. And by the sounds of it, they were like two people who just met today.

Dara had acted upon it, what she told me last night. However, even my father? Now what was going on?

Suddenly, the hall became awfully quiet. Even Dara and Appa stopped talking. We curiously looked around as someone from the entrance walked in.

A guy in a suit was walking down the hall. When he came closer, I immediately recognized him. My head whipped towards Dara. She stood up from her seat, her face bewildered.

As the guy was approaching our table, he smiled. “Good evening everyone. I am Lee Donghae. I am sorry I’m late,” he said.

Taeyeon stood up beside me too. “Omo, you’re Dara-unnie’s friend whom she said she was staying at?”

All eyes were on Taeyeon and then at Dara and then at Donghae. Everyone was surprised, by the looks of it. Dara blushed as Donghae scratched his nape.

“Well… yes,” Donghae said.

“Omo, come, sit beside Dara-unnie,” Taeyeon said. “Dami, move.”

Dami gave her a glare before she did. I swear, Dami didn’t like Taeyeon. She never told me why though.

As Taeyeon and her family interviewed Donghae, Dara was left silent on her seat. I noticed how she squirmed on her seat as if she was uncomfortable. But suddenly, as Donghae placed his arms on the backrest of Dara’s seat, I flinched. I looked away as I noticed how Donghae pulled her closer to him as if claiming her to his.

“Now, as you’re finishing your dinner,” the emcee said behind the microphone. “Let us listen to a song by our bride-to-be accompanied by her husband-to-be with his amazing skills in piano.”

“Omo, it’s our turn already,” Taeyeon said, standing up. “Listen to Jiyong. He’s awesome!”

Taeyeon took the microphone and stood on the middle of the stage, while I sat comfortably on the seat in front of the piano.

“Annyeong haseyo, everyone,” Taeyeon said, bowing. “Thank you all for coming. Jiyong and I had prepared a stage, this would be the first as a couple,” Taeyeon said, giggling. The audience laughed along too.

I pressed the first few keys as Taeyeon started singing.

“Ooh~” Taeyeon started, feeling the song, even closing her eyes. (Click this to listen to the piano version)

“I see the crystal raindrops fall

And the beauty of it all

When the sun comes shining through

To make those rainbows in my mind

When I think of you some time

And I want to spend some time with you

Just the two of us

We can make it if we try

Just the two of us

Just the two of us

Building castles in the sky

Just the two of us

You and I”

As Taeyeon went on to sing the next verse, I remembered some memories from way before.

“Darling, when the morning comes

And I see the morning sun

I want to be the one with you,” she sang.

The memory of when Dara and I were just lying at the bed when the morning came flashed in my mind, how she rested her head on my chest, how I caressed and kissed her hair.

And for a while, a tear was threatening to escape my lids. But I tried to focus on the piano-playing as it might ruin Taeyeon’s performance.

“Just the two of us

We can make it if we try

We gonna make it gonna make it

Just the two of us

We can make it if we try

We gonna make it if we try”

As I pressed the last notes, I stood up and bowed in front of the crowd. They clapped and sent cheers.  I walked towards Taeyeon as she held my hand and we bowed together.

“Everyone, the wedding will be over a month from now. I will be expecting you all,” Taeyeon said, cheerfully, showing her adorable smile to the guests.

“Thank you for coming,” I said briefly as the microphone was given to me.

As we gave back the microphone, the emcee excitedly clapped and even praised our performance. We walked back to the table where our family was and they were cheerfully clapping their hands for us. Dara, on the other hand, was half-heartedly doing it, showing a bored expression on her face.

“Oh, Dara unnie will perform too!” Dami suddenly shouted. She stood up from her seat and went towards Dara. “Unnie, you know piano too, right? Right?”

Dara looked flustered and nervous. She frantically shook her head. But the people on our table were motivating Dara.

The other guests were also shouting her name. “Dara! Dara!” as our table joined in too, except for me, until Taeyeon elbowed me so I joined in too.

The emcee went towards our table and escorted her to the middle as Dara, in the end, had given in. However I noticed that her walking was a bit off. As my eyes wandered down to her feet, I finally understood why. She was wearing high heels. Now, she was fully aware of how her feet hurt whenever she wears them, why was she wearing them tonight, though?

She whispered to the emcee for a second and then the emcee nodded.

“It seems Dara, Taeyeon’s cousin, will be performing for us an acoustic song,” she said. “Let’s cheer for her.”

Dara took a seat in the stool provided for her as she received the guitar that the personnel gave her. She tuned it for a while and then faced the audience. The indifferent expression was still on her face. She pursed her lips before speaking, “Good evening to everyone. I am Taeyeon’s cousin, Sandara Park, nice to meet you,” she said, bowing a little. “Since I don’t have a choice but to perform a song, I hope you won’t be surprised by my song choice.”

She strummed the first few notes. And then she stopped.

“Please don’t be surprised. My mind couldn’t come up with any song right now, except this one,” she said as the guests were silent, curious.

She returned back to her guitar as she started the song. Her fingers were gracefully strumming the stings. (Click this to listen to the guitar cover)

“Cause you are my babe

I can never let you,

No I can’t let go.

Can’t live without you

You’re the only one for me, always,” she sang. The guests were swaying with her, enjoying the song.

“I just wanna stay in your love

I just wanna feel your heart

I just wanna feel you hold you see you once again,” she continued.

As she reached the next stanza, the crowd murmured and the swaying of the crowd stopped as she sang, “I can’t wait

I can’t wait to hate you but I still believe

We belong together baby.”

As the next stanza came, my mind went blank. “Why do you leave me now?

Baby, really want you now

Bye, bye, don’t say goodbye

Cause I really want to see you

Always be my baby

I know that you’ll always be mine

Don’t you know you can’t escape me?

Always be (You and I will always be)

Cause you’ll always be my babe

Cause you’ll always be my babe.”

She seemed to express something from her singing. And with the lyrics, I couldn’t help but think of our situation. I didn’t want to assume but it seemed to be the case. It just seemed that the lyrics fit our situation perfectly.

As she strummed the last notes, her eyes flew towards our table. She met my gaze and held it firmly. As the song ended, she returned her eyes in front. She was met by a stunned silence from the audience. Now, why wouldn’t the crowd be stunned? I mean, at first, it seemed like a normal love song professing her feelings to a guy she loved but when the next stanzas came, she seemed to say how even though the guy was hateful, she still loved him, how she seemed desperate for him, how she never wanted him to leave her.

With Donghae's arrival a while ago, a few of them saw him and probably assumed him as her boyfriend or something. That was why, they wondered. Besides, this was an engagement party for Taeyeon and I, and someone singing that kind of song wasn’t really fit. I totally understood why the crowd reacted as such.

“I’m sorry you got surprised. I swear I didn’t mean anything I sang. I just performed for the sake of it,” she said. “I didn’t mean to direct it to the couple and in no way referred to them too,” she said, standing, losing her balance for a second until she regained it and bowed.

She leaned the guitar on the stool and walked back to our table. Suddenly, the crowd clapped again.

The emcee took the microphone. “What a wonderful voice,” the emcee said. “Don’t worry, Sandara-sshi, the stunned silence wasn’t because of the message the song rendered, it was because of your angelic voice, right?” she said, directing the question to the audience.

The crowd clapped again.

“Now, how about we take the floor and dance?” the emcee suggested as the DJ of the night played a slow love song.

Taeyeon grabbed my hand as she pulled me up. “Let’s have our first dance,” she said, smiling sweetly. Who was I to reject?

As couples took the floor, we were on the middle. I placed my hands on both sides of her waist as she leaned her hands on my shoulders. She stared at me, smiling like an angel. I smiled at her too.

“I love you, Jiyong,” she whispered, taking me aback. It wasn’t novel to me that she loved me. She had confessed to me back at L.A. However, I didn’t answer her, since this was meant to be a marriage without feelings. I mean, we were just chosen by our elders.

“It’s alright,” she whispered again. “It might take a while, but I can wait,” she said as she leaned her head on my chest, hugging me tight. “I will make you love me.”

My eyes wandered as Taeyeon and I swayed with the music. My eyes were looking for someone in particular. See? How could I love her if my eyes and heart have been looking for someone else, even if Taeyeon was just beside me?

As I found her, my heart felt like it was stabbed millions of times as I saw her dancing with Donghae.

If Taeyeon and I looked sweet while dancing, as the other dancers on the floor whispered, Donghae and Dara looked like they had their own world. Dara was staring at Donghae, her face filled with mixed emotions, but only one stood out – worry.

I couldn’t see how Donghae stared at her as he had his back on me. But Dara’s eyes, didn’t look like worried at all, contrast to what her face suggested. She looked like one of those lovesick puppies. She stared at Donghae adoringly as if he was the only guy in the world. And it hurt me. It hurt me so much that it felt as if my heart was clenched by an invisible hand.

Donghae then leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead as she closed her eyes. I don’t know if I was imagining it but before Donghae pulled her into a hug and she buried her face on his chest, I think I saw a tear escape her eyes.

Until the song ended and the second song started, my eyes never left them. They danced and swayed into the music, hugging each other, Donghae caressing her hair and even kissing it once in a while. I could only bite my lips back to avoid the jealousy to take over me.

And then someone tapped Dara’s shoulder. I recognized her as one of Taeyeon’s friends. Dara turned to her, leaning away from Donghae. Taeyeon’s friend said something to Donghae as he turned to Dara as if asking for permission. She nodded stiffly as the girl placed her hands on Donghae’s shoulder and they danced.

So, Taeyeon’s friend wanted to dance with him eh? How about if I invite Dara to a dance also? My thoughts wandered off, totally forgetting about the woman I was about to marry on my arms.

Dara walked away, squeezing through the crowd. Her walking was still a bit off and I knew it was because of her feet. They must have hurt already.

My eyes never left her as she exited the hall. I was tempted to follow but I reminded myself of my position.

So, I shifted my attention to Taeyeon. She had been talking all this while, her face stil buried on my chest.

After a few minutes, a hand tapped my shoulder too. “Can I dance with my daughter?” it was Taeyeon’s father. “This might be the last one before she officially changes her status to married.”

I bowed politely and told Taeyeon that I would just be going out to take some fresh air, when truthfully I was going out to follow her. Thankfully though, she bought it. I felt bad lying, but this might be my last chance.

But before I went out, I hurriedly headed towards my room to get some things and then I headed back down.

The night air was cold as it brushed past me. A shiver came down running my spine and I rubbed my arm to warm me up. My eyes wandered the outside of the hall.

It was dark, dim lights came from the streetlamps, some of them not even working. My eyes wandered looking for her and I finally spotted her on one of the benches. She was alone. My eyes squinted as I tried figuring out whatever she was doing since she was far.

I stepped down the stairs leading to the hall as I walked towards her. As I neared her, I finally realized what she was doing.

Nothing.

She was just sprawled over that bench as if it was a comfortable and soft couch she had at home. Gone was the poised Dara a while ago. She had her nape rested on the backrest of the bench, her relaxed face staring up, as if watching the starlit sky, except that her eyes were closed.

For a while, I just stood there, admiring the beauty that I hadn’t seen for a long time, admiring the girl I had missed for all these years, admiring the girl I loved and still love until now.

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