DONGHAE’S POV

I stared at Dara’s peaceful state as she slept. She was lying on my arm, as if it was really a pillow. She murmured in her sleep.

“Donghae,” she whispered, a tear suddenly fell from her eyes. And I instantly knew that it started again.

If she called me while sleeping, this only meant one thing – she needed to feel that I was with her. With that I shushed her like a mother would to her one-year old baby.

I caressed her hair as I pulled her to my arms, letting her sleep on my chest instead, so that she could feel me more. After a while, she turned silent as her breathing steadied.

I smiled as I recalled how all of these things happened.

Dara was a strong woman as everyone knew. I knew her when I was one of his models at her new collection at Japan. I was a model at Japan, then. It was approximately three years ago. Accordingly she was a new designer. At first, no one knew of her as she went under the pseudonym Miss Dee but I overheard one of the staffs called her that as she shushed the staff and ordered her to just call her by her name – Dara.

It wasn’t good to eavesdrop on other people’s conversation, but I just stood there – not to listen, though, I was there because the sound of her voice was too beautiful in my ears. So I just stayed right there, listening… until the staff she was talking with noticed me and ordered me to prepare.

After the whole fashion show, I hastily changed to my clothes to look for her. But I was frustrated as she was already gone.

So, I decided instead to go home. I was driving my car that night when a drunken woman suddenly appeared out of nowhere and blocked my path. She looked like she wanted to kill herself. Thankfully though, I hit the brakes just in time.

I got off my car, preparing to yell at whoever she was. But when I did, she fell to the ground.

I ran to help her. Her face was covered by her messy hair. As I brushed them off, I was surprised. It was Dara; she fell asleep, just like that.

I carried her to my car and was about to bring her to the hospital but she murmured something.

“Bring me with you,” she had said.

“What?!” I said, surprised. Why would I bring her with me?

Suddenly, she opened her eyes and then leaned towards me, her face just inches from mine, her breath fanning my cheeks.

“Bring me home with you,” she said her voice husky.

Hesitantly, I did. I carried her in my arms as she was unconscious again. But when we reached the elevator, she pulled me by my nape so that her lips would brush against hers.

And we started kissing. Even as we reached my unit, she was still kissing me, not breaking apart from me. Even though I knew it was wrong, I seemed to be entranced by the way she kissed me.

As we entered the bedroom and I settled her on the bed, not even once breaking the kiss, she threw her little arms around me. We kissed tenderly amid the reek of wine.

Finally, she broke the kiss. She cupped my face and stared at me straight in the eye. That was the time I noticed that she was crying. Her eyes were red and puffy; her beautiful porcelain cheeks were stained by her tears.

“Please… stay with me,” she had said. “Don’t ever let go.”

I didn’t understand then. I was too overpowered by my desire and lust that I even forgot if I agreed or not.

The next thing I knew, the one-night stand that I thought at first, became too frequent as she pleaded the same thing to me – to stay with her and not to let go.

For three years, it went on that way until she started to live with me. We became friends – friends with benefits.

I never asked her why she needed someone like me. At first, I thought it was special, her and me, having some mutual feelings, but as time passed by, living with her, she started murmuring in her sleep. She always whispered one name – Jiyong.

I didn’t want to meddle with her business but my curiosity overcame me and I asked. The glass she was holding fell from her hands and she broke down crying, falling down on the broken glasses.

I came in to rush to her aid to treat the wounds on her legs. As I did, she told me the story, while she was still crying. She told me how she loved one man, how she left this one man, and until now, how she couldn’t forget about this one man and move on with her life.

She repeatedly apologized to me, explaining how she used me to forget about her first love; how she really didn’t have the same feelings I did with her. It was painful. It was heartbreaking. But I cut her off as I pressed my lips against her.

“Shut up,” I had said. “Use me all you want. I don’t care. If it means that you’ll temporarily forget, I don’t care.”

She just stared at me, eyes not showing any emotions except pain. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you,” I had said simply.

She just stared at me, her face surprised. “I’m sorry,” she had said as she hugged me. “I just needed to feel someone that is close. I promise you, the moment he’ll come back, I’ll stop using you.”

That was the promise she made that night. That night, I also promised myself that I would do everything to protect her, to prevent her from being hurt further.

God knows how much I wanted not witnessing that moment to happen, not witnessing THIS moment to happen.

I wasn’t that much of a nosy person, but once, when Dara was sleeping, it was just another ordinary night after the deed, except for that my curiosity got the best of me and I eventually took up the courage to open the locket that I had been seeing hanging at Dara’s neck for some time now. She never really removed it from her body, that was why when she was sleeping, I took it from her neck and opened it.

I assumed that he was Jiyong, the name she kept on whispering on her sleep.

The moment he appeared at the door, Dara in his arms, I knew. I knew I lost.

Seeing Dara in my arms tonight, I couldn’t help but sigh. She might be mine now, but it might be temporary. I could lose her anytime. I wasn’t the kind of a person who admits defeat easily, but since the start of this battle, I had already known that I had lost.

A moan escaped my lips. I squinted my eyes as I felt something sticking to me on the side of my neck. I adjusted my eyes through the darkness. After they did, there she was – Dara. She was fully awake now and she was urging me to do it with her tonight.

“Dara…” I said, interrupting her, my voice husky.

“Donghae… it’s not time to talk…” she said, her voice was husky too. She went on nibbling on my ear and then sent some butterfly kisses on my jaw.

“Dara…” I said, my hands on both her waists, stopping her from climbing over me.

However, she made her way on top of me, but she stopped kissing me. She towered over me as she stared at me with saddened eyes. She looked so disappointed. Even though we were in the darkness, I could still make out her features.

“Tell me, Donghae. Are you getting tired of me? Huh? Are you?!” she said, her voice rising.

“Dara… it’s not that…”

“Are you going to leave me too? Are you going to be gone from my life like everyone else?!” she said, her voice getting louder.

I brushed the hair from her face. “Dara… listen to me…”

“I knew it!” she said, her voice frustrated as she climbed down from me. She had her back facing me. And that was when I noticed she was .

I got the blanket and wrapped her with it.

“I had a nightmare, Donghae,” she said, sobbing. “I had a very bad nightmare.”

I sat beside her, wrapping my arm around her. This was one of the times that she needed a listener. And believe me when I say that it wasn’t that often. I don’t know why, but she seemed more comfortable facing the problems by herself.

“He came back,” she said, facing me with her tear-stricken face. “Jiyong came back. And it was an awful reunion, Donghae. It was so terrible!”

I stared at her, hesitating whether to tell her what actually happened. She mistook what happened in reality to be a nightmare.

Suddenly, she claimed my lips again, hungrily, desperately. I was quick enough to respond. However, I stopped myself. I needed to tell her this, even though it would hurt me.

“He came back,” I said.

But she seemed not to hear it as she claimed my lips again, her teeth nibbling them. She was hungrier and more desperate tonight than the other nights. I didn’t know if she was still conscious but I knew that she needed this. Who was I to stop her?

I woke up to a steady breathing. I looked down as Dara was lying, her face in contact with my chest. She was wide awake, her eyes distant, staring deep into space.

“I just had a nightmare. A very bad one,” she said, her eyes not once blinking.

I rubbed my hands up and down her back as I warmed it. She was getting cold. I stared outside and the sun shone brightly. It was morning already.

“It was terrible, Donghae,” she said again. She stared up at me. “Don’t ever leave me, okay?”

I nodded. I was about to give her a peck on the lips when her phone rang.

She got up from the bed, not minding if she was . She picked up her phone as I sat up beside her.

“Hello?” she greeted. “Oh, Taeyeon?” she said and listened for a while. Her brows creased. “What are you talking about?” she asked and then listened more. “Wedding?! You’re getting married?!” she gasped, her face completely shocked. She listened more. I watched her shocked face turned into a confused one and then back to a shocked one. This time though, she looked shaken. “Am I… am I the only one you were waiting for?” she asked, trying her best to sound unshaken. “Alright. I…I’m coming,” she said, hanging up the phone, her hand shaking.

“Your cousin’s getting married?” I asked, not getting why she looked scared by that news.

She stared at me, her eyes wide. “Donghae…” she said, her voice shaking. “He’s back.”

My eyes did not give away any other emotion, hinting that I already knew.

“You knew, didn’t you?” she said, realizing it. “And you never even told me!”

“You wouldn’t listen,” I said, my voice small because I was guilty.

She buried her face on her palms. “Jiyong’s back, Donghae. He’s back…” she trailed off. “…and he’s marrying Taeyeon.”

I was shocked, my face mirroring her face.

“It wasn’t a nightmare I had last night, Donghae,” she whispered. “The dinner… it happened. It wasn’t a nightmare. I met him there, Donghae,” she said, facing me, her face stained by her tears again. “What should I do?”

Feeling useless, I hugged her, burying her face on my chest, making her feel that I was with her.

“Do you want me to send you there?” I asked, while she was dressing up. She was wearing a black quilted leather and fur down jacket and a pair of black skinny leather pants.

“No,” she said firmly.

“Are you sure?” I asked, walking towards her, giving her a back hug.

She removed my hands off her waist and then faced me. She cupped my face and stared deep into my eyes. She nodded and said, “I’ll be back soon. Cook me something, eh?” she said, giving me a peck on the lips.

Maybe this wouldn’t be the end of the battle after all.