JIYONG’S POV

She lifted her head as I said that. I meant that. I meant everything I said especially the last one. However, considering that she was drunk, I wasn’t sure if she understood or, let alone, heard them all. But with the last one said, with her reaction, her lifting her head and staring at me for a long time, I knew she heard me. I knew she understood me.

She blinked her eyes rapidly after a while. I was about to speak more when she snatched the bottle of alcohol that I had been holding for a while now. It happened so fast that I wasn’t able to stop her when she chugged down the remaining alcohol in one go.

I wasn’t able to stop her from drinking and as she finally finished the contents, she dropped the bottle on her side and sighed.

“Jat was shooo good!” she said and then looked back at me. “Yoooor shtil heer, yooouu hallushinatioon.”

I frowned. She’s dead drunk. How could I talk to a drunken person? This might be my last time to be able to talk to her, though I wish it wasn’t, but look at her. She’s drowning herself to drunkenness.

“Whatever…” she said, her speaking already going back to normal.  “I’m drunk. You’re not here. Only the stars are accompanying me tonight.”

After that, she leaned her head on the wall. I was about to speak when she beat me to it.

“It’s better if we just let it go,” she said. “Let us not push it,” she paused. “People don’t stay in the same place. Everybody moves on.”

“Have you?” I asked.

She stared at me. I was unsure if she was actually staring straight at me but I wanted to think that. At least, she sees me. “I don’t know. I have been saying I had. But there’s this littlest part of me that held on. Why is it like that? Do you have the answer?”

“You still love me,” I said.

She stared up at the stars again. “I do.”

“Then why won’t y—“

“Taeyeon will get hurt. This is for the better.”

“You don’t think that, Dara. You’re fooling yourself!”

“If it is for the better, then be it,” she said in her most disinterested voice.

“I still love you, you still love me. What else do you need?”

“Fate is against us. You have to accept that while I have to at least be happy for you and my sister,” she said.

Frustrated, I groaned and pulled on my hair. She was hopeless. This conversation wasn’t helping anyone of us. It didn’t solve anything, for Pete’s sakes!

In silence, I sat at the cold night with Dara still by my side. I was slamming my already-abused fist on the floor as I just listened to Dara’s random ramblings. She was still drunk that I was thinking that maybe what she said weren’t what she meant at all. But I didn’t know anymore! It was so frustrating!

After a while, she stopped rambling and the next thing I noticed, her head was now leaning on my shoulder. I looked down on her as she was sleeping peacefully as if my shoulder was the most comfortable pillow that existed.

Her face was so close to mine that I was tempted to kiss those lips that I had missed kissing. However, my eyes caught something else. A necklace was hanging on her neck and there were two lockets that were together on it. To confirm things in my mind, I picked the lockets carefully, without waking Dara up, and opened them. The first one contained my picture, while the other contained hers – the latter being the one which I threw away.

So it was true. She looked for it, like what Donghae said. She really did.

Carefully, I removed the necklace from her neck and got the locket which I originally owned. I pocketed it. Inside my pocket was another thing and I fished it out. I smiled at the adorable bear on my hand and replaced the space that my locket filled before I got it from her necklace. After that, I put it on her again with the new items hanging by the necklace – the locket and the bear that I just bought from the convenience store when I saw her looking at it.

At least by this, she would know that I was the bear who comforted her by the park and besides… I wanted her to know that I got my locket back. This would hint her that I hadn’t given up yet. Not just yet.

As I thought that it was getting late and there would be people who would be looking for me, without hesitation, I got Dara’s phone from her pocket and dialed the number which I dialed on this same phone before.

“Hello? It me, Jiyong,” I said when he picked up. “I’ll leave Dara to you for now.  She’s at the condominium A’s rooftop. I’ll be with her until you come here.”

DARA’S POV

My head immediately ached the moment I opened my eyes. I tried getting up but I felt dizzy and I lied down again. I waited for a few seconds to get up again. After a while, I got up, fighting off the dizziness. That was the time that I realized that I was drinking last night. I didn’t know how much I drank and I wasn’t sure how I got back here in my bed. It wasn’t one of those guys I usually and accidentally sleep with because the bed was empty except for me.

Feeling thirsty, I walked towards the kitchen, my eyes half-closed. As I drank up the glass of water, I decided to return to the bedroom. However, my eyes caught something – I mean, someone lying on the couch. He was someone I would never thought that I would ever see in this room again.

“Donghae…” I whispered. I creased my brows as I tried remembering why he was sleeping on that couch, or more importantly, why he was here after he walked out of my life.

Instead of waking him up and asking him directly, I headed towards the bathroom to freshen my fuzzy mind. I started stripping myself before stepping into the shower. When I was about to remove the necklace of the two lockets, I stopped my hand when my eyes caught an unknown thing hanging beside the locket in place of another one.

It was a bear. It was the bear – the bear that ridiculously looked like the bear mascot that comforted me in the park. How did it get there? And where was the other locket? But, which locket was missing? I wasn’t sure since the outer part actually looked the same. Frantically, I opened the locket and saw Jiyong’s picture.

In a second, what happened last night in the rooftop flashed quickly inside my mind.

I was with Jiyong last night!

My hands fell limply to my sides. I was with him last night. I was drunk, my mind was fuzzy but I remembered some parts of what happened last night, especially that time when he said that he still loved me.

And he must be the one who gave me this bear. He was the only one I was with. And he… must be the bear mascot.

Several things came into pieces and my head ached again. Without hesitation, I removed the necklace and went into the shower and felt the cold water washed through my body.

I didn’t know how to make of what happened last night. I didn’t know what to do anymore. He was making it hard for me.

And the fact that I found myself in the same church where he and Taeyeon will get married tomorrow only made it harder for me. I didn’t even know what I was doing here. Was I hurting myself? Was I deliberately trying to feel the hurt that will be brought by the wedding tomorrow?

Why was I here? What will I do? How will I decide?

Would I try to firmly hold on and fight for what had been mine? Or would I be selfless enough to sacrifice my happiness for someone else’s?

I closed my eyes and breathed in. the moment I opened them, I stared back at the girl who had been thinking of the same things over and over again since yesterday. Her makeup covered up the dark circles around her eyes. The girl was staring back at me as if she was afraid of the next thing that would happen the next second. The girl wasn’t prepared but she had to be.

She stood up. I stood up. And I stared at myself on the full-length mirror as I wore a nice white dress that fell just above my knees. It was just simple but it was elegant. It was perfect for the event today. It was perfect for someone like the bride’s sister to wear.

“You’re really beautiful!” the makeup artists gushed over me.

“I need to be alone,” I said, not breaking the gaze with the girl looking back at me in the mirror.

“But—“

“Was the makeup you used on me waterproof?” I asked, shifting my gaze to her.

She nodded hastily as if becoming nervous.  “I’m still not finished with you—“

“Leave me alone,” I said, my voice firm as I stared back at my reflection once again. I waited before she and her team shuffled out of my room. As soon the door closed behind them, I let a pair of fat tears roll down my cheeks. I followed the tears with my eyes as it rolled towards the floor, making a stain on it. The next thing I knew, more tears came rolling down.

I didn’t let out a sound, although I so wanted to sob badly. The lump in my throat was becoming too painful but I refused to make a sound. It was until the pain was unbearable that I covered my mouth and let the sob out. I was already wailing, but not too loud. I wailed to myself, crying… feeling hopeless more than ever. I didn’t even notice that I was already on the floor.

“Crying wouldn’t do you any good,” a voice from behind came.

I looked up and from the reflection of the full-length mirror, I saw Donghae, wearing a suit and tie, ready for the event where he wasn’t even invited in the first place. I was the one behind that. After he walked out of my life, I stole the invitation that was meant for him and amidst the preparation, they hadn’t noticed it.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, not minding to wipe the tears from my smudged face.

“I was meant to look over you,” he said. “I woke up to an empty bedroom yesterday, so I just went home without waiting for you. However, I still knew that today’s the wedding and more than anything, I know you’ll be miserable like this alone again.”

I slowly stood up and wiped the tears away. He walked towards me and wiped the tears for me with his handkerchief, causing it to be stained and dirty from the smudges of the make-up.

“I will always be here for you,” he whispered while I just stared straight to his eyes.

“What should I do?” I asked pathetically.

He fished something out from his pocket and he put it on my palm. I stared at the button on my palm and I instantly recognized it as something I used on one of my designs recently. But I still needed confirmation so I looked up to him.

“It’s Jiyong’s. I removed it from his suit.”

I creased my brow, unable to ask because he beat me to it.

“You go to him, that button as your excuse.”

“What about the others? What about Taeyeon? What if she—“

“She’s still not ready. Her makeup is halfway done and she wasn’t on her gown still. The others are still busy preparing too. So, be quick,” he said pushing me gently.

With determination but a blank mind, I walked towards the door. I stopped just in front of it and turned around to face him. I ran to him and hugged him tight. “Thank you. Thank you so much,” I said before releasing him and stepping out of the room, unsure of what to expect the next moment.

-----