October 3rd, 2008.

                 

To my dearest hyung,

                    

                     

Hey hyung! So~~ today, after lots of insisting from Kyuhyun of going out for a drink, I finally accepted and we went to a bar near the park I always go to read. But hyung, I don’t like bars… ah… I didn’t tell you before right? I don’t like noisy places, I like calm and relaxing ones~ that’s why I like reading in a park! It makes me feel at peace. And I didn’t want to drink alcohol because hyung, if I can’t control myself around him sober, how will I become drunk? Sigh, I don’t want to think about it.

So I think he saw I was really uncomfortable and he offered to go out to another place, I quickly nodded because it was really noisy but then I regretted it because being in a quiet place meant we could talk more and that wasn’t exactly what I wanted… suddenly I wanted to be drunk or have drank some alcohol and pretend I was.

We went to a café, it was really comfy but I was pretty nervous to look around for details. Hae betrayed me! Can you believe it! He suddenly sent a text that he couldn’t go when I was already there! That fish… he wants to make me crazy! Hyung! Hurry and take him away, he only will listen to you!

Anyway, so he started talking, I was afraid to do so because I knew my voice would crack any time soon, so I let him talk, it was just about his school and such, I didn’t want to turn up but then I thought it was rude so I did. Hyung, he has the most perfect lips I had ever seen. I wonder how it feels to kiss those lips. I bet they’re soft… is Kyuhyun a good kisser? I think he is…

And then he asked me how was I doing at college, I gulped and looked down before just mumbling something like ‘yeah, everything is fine’ but he kept on asking and then suddenly it went even more personal so I just wanted to go away from that place. He asked me if I had someone I liked and hyung, I couldn’t lie so I told him that I did. He stood quiet for a while, maybe a little disappointed? Hahaha, no, but I wish he was disappointed at that! I’m almost sure he knows I like him now! And then he asked me who it was, or if he knew her…

I didn’t think clearly at that time when I told him it wasn’t a ‘she’ but a ‘him’… but he just smiled and hyung, that was the smile that makes me melt! Then he asked me something like ‘is he more handsome than me?’ hahaha is there someone more handsome than him hyung?! Ahh… at that time I laughed at the question and since I was already telling the truth… why not continuing? I mean, he wasn’t going to be mine anyways? So I told him that the one I liked was equally handsome as him. I wanted to sound mockingly but I guess blushing didn’t help at all and he laughed at me!

After a while I think his method of laughing at me worked because we weren’t awkward anymore, I could be myself in front of him, I don’t remember the last time I had so much fun hyung! I didn’t even remember I could smile so widely! My cheeks hurt but everything was worthy! ^^ We stayed chatting and drinking non-alcoholic drinks until four am hyung! I showed him the park I like to go and he said it was really nice~

Has he always been this caring hyung? He so polite and educated! I think he thinks of me as a girl because he opens the door of the car for me, he even lets me pass by the doors first and he was the one paying for everything…

Ah~ it felt like a real date! ^^

Hyung, now I know why I love him so much, and somehow, I don’t want to stop doing so.

                  

Love,

Hyukjae.

                  

PS: Hyung, did you know? People are more likely to tilt their heads to the right when kissing instead of the left (65 percent of people go to the right!). Hyung, I really want to kiss those lips. Would he turn to the right?