Despite the dishevelled appearances of the group as they traipsed through the entrance of your apartment building, the doormen did not bat an eyelash. Their gazes swept over Kai's half-alert form supported upright by D.O and Suho and your unconscious figure swathed in a bundle of black suit jackets in Kris' arms as if they did not see anything out of the ordinary. They did not question Sooyoung after she flashed an unmarked black card at them and demanded to be taken to your apartment. Instead, they nodded mutely and bowed your motely group through the elevator doors, sending you to the twentieth floor.

 

You were no longer shivering and your breathing had calmed down, but your skin was still a ghastly chalk-white, making the wound on your cheek stand out like a spot of crimson ink on paper. 

 

Nobody had said anything in the long seconds that it took for the elevator to reach your floor, but Eunmi stared hard at Sooyoung, eyes flicking occasionally towards the tall male carrying you in an unspoken question. Sooyoung only shrugged, grimacing and staring upwards in a silent sign of  "I don't even know, I'll explain later".

 

The taller woman pointed Kris to the bedroom that was not cluttered with computers and textbooks after they all traipsed in. 

 

He laid you carefully down on the dark red sheets of your bed before standing upright, unsure of what to do with himself. That was taken care of, however, when Eunmi walked in, carrying a tall coat rack that dwarfed her.

 

"You need to leave for a while," she said, not looking at him as she hung one of the IV bags on a hook  and dragged the rack beside the tall lamp that stood by your bed.

 

"We need to get Jinnie into something a little more comfortable," Sooyoung said gently, cutting him off as he was about to protest.

 

He felt his face grow warm as he processed what Sooyoung was saying, nodded, and strode out the room, shutting the door behind him.

 

In the living room, Suho and D.O had put Kai on the longest sofa. Someone had the TV, but nobody was watching the generic drama playing, and so it created sort of mindless background drone that filled up the otherwise silent room. Baekhyun stood beside the window with Chanyeol, conversing in low voices, while Luhan and Sehun sat at the dining room table, untouched glasses of water in front of them. Xiumin and Chen were comforting Tao, who was sitting by the sofa, knees hugged to his chest. Kris had the instinctive urge to go over to the hiccuping boy, but he caught sight of Lay flipping through a thick book he most certainly did not have with him when they came in by the bookshelves. 

 

The other male quickly shut the book when he saw Kris approach him, attempting to surreptitiously return it to its previous position on the shelf.

 

Kris raised an eyebrow at his actions.

 

"Uh, duizhang, do you want some water?" Lay said weakly, realizing that he had been far too obvious, yet still moving to block the book from sight.

 

Kris wordlessly reached around him, only to have his wrist caught by the younger man, a pained expression on his face.

 

"Seriously, Kris. Don't."

 

Of course, that just made his curiosity grow.

 

"Zhang Yixing, let go."

 

Lay sighed and moved aside. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

 

The mysterious tome turned out to be a handsome photo album, bound in black leather.  Silver script on the front cover scrawled out the words "Until forever ends."

 

Ignoring the foreboding feeling in his gut, Kris opened it to the first page, and came upon a handwritten message.

 

 

"To my heart, my own little piece of perfection,

 

I can't believe it's been six years since I yelled at you to get the hell out of my car. Time flies, doesn't it? Maybe if we hadn't been so stubborn, we would have been together for longer than four years, instead of wasting the first two mindlessly hating each other because of bad first impressions.

 

I know, I know, the bad first impressions were entirely my fault. ;)

 

I got the guys and Sooyoung and Jess to help me with this. They say that memories are precious and priceless, and I didn't want to forget a single moment I spent with you, so I suppose this is kind of a gift to myself as well. I hope you enjoy looking through it as much as I did putting it together.  ♥

 

Happy fourth anniversary, Jinhye. It's been the best four years of my life.

 

You'll notice that the album isn't full yet. I thought that we could fill it up with more memories in the years (and decades, maybe?) to come. Together, or course.

 

I love you, now, till forever. 

 

 

Love, love love love love love

 

- your Kim Jaejoong"

 

 

He felt his heart sink further and further with each word he read, till he was amazed it didn't drop out of him altogether. And yet, he couldn't stop himself from flipping past it to the photos inside.

 

The first photo was of a much younger you, your hair shorter and messily chopped, blushing and not looking at the camera, clearing trying to escape the shot. Beside you, sporting an elated grin, arm wrapped around your shoulder to keep you beside him, was the man Kris assumed to be Kim Jaejoong, judging from the caption "02/14/20XX - Chun took this one, right after you said yes."

 

The next one was a group photo, with you in your racing uniform, grinning widely standing beside a sleek white Audi R8. You had your helmet under one arm, and were making a 'V' at the camera with the other. Jaejoong stood beside you, Yunho and Changmin on his other side. Two unfamiliar faces were on your other side, and he guessed them to be the two other former members of TVXQ. The comment for this photo was "03/20/20XX" - Artery Prelims, which you rocked, obviously."

 

The third page had two photos side by side, in the style of a selca. Both of you were lying down on some grass. In the first photo, you were pouting at the camera, though your eyes were smiling, while Jaejoong kissed your cheek. In the second, he was smirking smugly, eyes closed, while you pressed your lips to his cheek. "... - Some random day that I managed to drag you away from the garage."

 

Dozens more followed, showing your growth through the passing years. Some were of only you and Jaejoong, others including other SM racers, most often TVXQ, or Sooyoung and Jessica. A few were candid photos of only you, including one where you were bending over the opened hood of an orange car, T-shirt and jeans smudged with grease, wrench in your hand. Another, on the polar opposite, showed you in a cream-coloured top and short grey skirt, leaning over the railing of a balcony against a starry black sky, wisps of your longer hair flying out behind you in the wind. 

 

"Working while looking unbearably y, as usual."

"5/28/20XX - I remember the date only because it was the first time Sooyoung and Jess convinced you to wear a skirt. ;)"

 

He flipped to a blank page, the same handwriting that permeated the rest of the album scrawling only two words in the middle.

 

"Turn around."

 

He flipped to the next page.

 

Your face was hidden in the crook of his neck, arms thrown around him. He was laughing, hugging you tightly. He was sitting on pale carpet, your form between his open legs. From your positions, it seemed that you had tackled him to the ground. 

 

Kris caught sight of the small black velvet box in Jaejoong's hands behind your back.

 

"Marry me, Lee Jinhye."

 

 

 

Lay watched as the older Chinese man's face stiffened with each photo, trying to keep his emotions from showing. However, he could still see the turmoil and pain in Kris' eyes. 

 

"...duizhang," he started, though not sure of what else to say.

 

He did not react to the prompt, merely continued staring down at the last picture motionlessly.

 

"How is she?"

 

Baekhyun's question snapped him out of his stupor. Both he and Lay turned to see Eunmi and Sooyoung walking into the living room.

 

"She's doing well, for the circumstances. Her fever is being persistent though, but that means her body is still fighting the toxins," Eunmi said wearily. 

 

"Can we go see her?" Luhan asked.

 

"Sure, but not all of you at the same time. She needs to breathe, okay?" the small woman replied, smiling weakly.

 

Luhan walked to your room, Sehun right behind him. Baekhyun followed the two of them with Chanyeol. Suho tried to follow, but Eunmi stopped him, saying that four was enough for now.

 

Lay looked back at Kris in surprise. Said man avoided his questioning gaze, shut the album and placed it back on the shelf, before walking out onto the balcony.

 

Sooyoung joined him a moment later.

 

"What happened? I thought he'd be the first one in there," she asked. Lay shook his head and pointed to the book lying innocently on the shelf. 

 

"That happened."

 

Sooyoung recognized the black leather, and sighed, understanding. 

 

 

 

"You know, I never pegged you as the type to give up so easily."

 

Kris looked up from his brooding at the woman who had joined him in the night air.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

She fixed him with a look. "You know perfectly well what I mean."

 

He said nothing. 

 

"She's not over him-"

 

"That's obvious," he snorted.

 

"-yet. And she's not going to be over him until she finds someone else."

 

"She's not going to see anyone else until she's over him."

 

"And you're dealing with that problem spectacularly aren't you, hiding out here," Sooyoung stated incredulously. When he did not reply, she continued. "You need to make yourself visible, Kris. If you like her, then fight for her."

 

"What makes you think I like her?" he asked. He didn't mean it as a rhetorical question. Instead, he genuinely wanted to know how Sooyoung was so sure, when he himself was a confused mess.

 

"Because you look at her the same way Jaejoong did."

 

Sooyoung smiled gently at the stunned look on the man's face. "She's attracted to you too, you know. She just refuses to acknowledge it."

 

'Like I did,' he thought wryly. "I have no idea how to do this though."

 

Now it was Sooyoung's turn to look stunned.

 

"You mean you've never-"

 

"No."

 

"...oh." Surprise was evident in her tone. To her credit, she recovered quickly. "Just...go with what you feel. Honestly, if you're sincere about what you're doing, she'll understand sooner or later."

 

When he nodded slowly, but continued gazing out into the night, Sooyoung mentally rolled her eyes in exasperation.

 

"Going back in to see her would be a good start though."

 

 

 

 

When Chen noticed Kris' appearance at the doorway to your bedroom, he coughed  lightly to alert the other four of his presence. He, Xiumin, Tao, Suho, and Lay simultaneously moved to leave the room.

 

"We were just going-"

 

"I need some water-"

 

"I'm gonna see what she has in the fridge- "

 

"I should check up on Kai-"

 

"Luhan-ge said he'd make me some eggs-"

 

Kris blinked as his teammates quickly filed past him. Shaking his head at their antics, he moved Suho's abandonned seat closer to you before sitting down.

 

You were buried beneath a thick white blanket, your right arm laying out over it, an IV drip attached, dark red liquid flowing into you. Unconsciously, he reached out to take your hand in his, though noting the hot temperature caused by your fever. He couldn't help a small smile when he felt the lightest of pressures exerted on his fingers as you gripped them. 

 

"What am I supposed to do with you? How am I supposed to get you to see me?" he murmured quietly, rubbing small, soothing circles on the back of your hand with his thumb.

 

You let out a soft string of incoherent mumbles, stirring at the sounds. He froze, staring at you as you blinked slowly and blearily, focussing on him.

 

"Jae?"

 

He felt his hopes plummet like a stone.

 

"Jae...? What's going on?"

 

Somebody should have warned him about this. Sooyoung, Eunmi - heck, even Yixing might have known that hallucinations were a possibility. Yet, here he was, uniformed, being mistaken for the one person who he was starting to hate more and more, without good reasons.

 

He wanted to shake you, to yell at you, something, to make you see that this was him, not Jaejoong. He wanted to shout at you to stop being so blind to everything. He wanted to hold you to him tight and never let go. He wanted to run out of the room and never look at you again.

 

He didn't do any of that. Instead-

 

"You got sick again, Jinhye."

 

"...oh," you said, nodding. Then your eyes, clouded with sleep, turned to him again with question. "Then why are you still sitting there?"

 

"What?" he asked, confused. To his horror, you wiggled your other arm out from under the sheets and reached out towards him.

 

"Sleep with me, like you usually do, idiot," you said, almost childishly. "I'm cold."

 

God, why?

 

He had no idea why whatever mighty powers that be hated him this much, to put him in a situation like this.

 

He should have chosen to leave when he had the chance, because now, your innocent and expectant gaze held him there like an anchor. 

 

"Why are you so slow, my arms are getting sore," you whined, waving your hands at him.

 

He was cursing everything, everyone, as he slid off his shoes and slipped in beside you, trying not to touch you. That flew out the window when you immediately clasped onto him like a koala, letting out a content sigh, snuggling into his chest.

 

He closed his eyes, trying to calm his furiously beating heart. 

 

She thinks it's Jaejoong, not you.

 

The thought beat repeatedly at his heart, but he couldn't help but wrap his arms around you, one hand resting on top of your hand, the other at the small of your back. 

 

Despite the physical intimacy of the moment, he had never felt so distant from you.

 

'Lee Jinhye, why are you so cruel?'

 

 

 

 

 

--

 

Aaauuuggghhh why did I write this. Why. 

Because for some reason seeing EXO cry at the awards made me sad and angst just spouts out of me when I'm sad. 
 

I'M SO PROUD OF THEM THOUGH AAAGHGSKLFGJSDLFGKJDFLKGJ:LKGFH:Dfk  HERE TAKE ALL OF MY LOVE AND BE HAPPY 5EVER.

 

QAQ

 

Whoa, who knew that I'd be updating more frequently when school started LOL. I think it's because the libraries around campus are so much more conducive to writing than the chaotic environment at home. XD

 

 

 

 

IMCRY. IMCRY SO HARD WWWUUUUUWUWUWUWUWUWUUUUU ;_______________;

 

Comment? Subscribe? SEE HOW QUICKLY I UPDATED. GUISE THIS IS BECAUSE YOU COMMENT. SO LEAVE SOMETHING OK. 8D

 

- Ace