Title (1/5)

The title is simply too long. Long titles usually spoil what the story is about. From this, I can easily tell that the main character will not like the country, but will gradually like it as she goes through the obstacles in her life. Titles like these will be ignored by some because they aren't curious enough to know what the plot is about.

Appearance (4/5)

The appearance gives out a good enough mood. It gives off a rom-com mood, but I feel like there isn't enough comedy but more romance in the story compared to the poster + background.

Description/Foreword (7/15)

Your description is fine. It gives off the description of your story.

Your foreword, however, is not. Forewords are meant to give some kind of author's note (like why you wrote this story, how you were inspired, etc.) or a prologue or anything that will interest the readers without spoiling too much. Character descriptions are usually put in the foreword, but they are a sign of weakness. It shows the readers that you are unable to show your character's characteristics and would rather tell them their personalities. 

Plot (10/25)

To be honest, this is like a Cinderella story. Girl has two evil step sisters and step mother, goes to a dance, loses some kind of object, and finds love. The only twist it has is that it's more modern and has more complications. In addition, this story reminds me a bit of a movie I watched: Another Cinderella Story. Heard of it? The movie's plot and your plot is kind of similar: 1) both female characters looses an iPod and 2) both female characters had to clean up the mansion but got their friend to help them out.

Characters (5/15)

Your characters are also very much like the Cinderella story. If I look around on AFF for any Cinderella-types of stories, they usually have the same characters as you: a perfect female lead who can sing and dance well, and a handsome "prince." There's always that best friend who's there for the female lead, and antagonists who try to ruin the female lead's love life.

Writing (Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation) (10/20)

I feel like you can improve your writing if you add some descriptions. When you add pictures, it also shows that you are a weak writing with descriptions. If you are able to describe what the characters are feeling or the setting, it gives a huge boost to your story. In addition, you had a few typos here and there throughout your chapters, but they can be easily fixed by editing and looking over your writing. You also tend to use the word "said" a lot. Since I see this word frequently, it tends to get tiresome to read. You can replace "said" with other effective words such as "breathed," "whispered," "mumbled, "yelled," etc.

Chapter 1

Incorrect:

"Well look whose here," said Tiffany.

"The little orphan," laughed Taeyeon.

"Where's umma?" asked Tiffany.

Correct: 

"Well look who's here," said Tiffany.

"The little orphan." Taeyeon laughed.

"Where's Umma?" asked Tiffany.

Chapter 8

Incorrect:

"Or else I will tell him. God! This does not  make since! If you like him, don't look at me like that, and you he likes you; then make both of you happy. You and Kris are destine to be together. You didn't move to Korea just to be bullied by Subin, Tiffany, Taeyeon, or Krystal. You came here to find love and become a idol. Out of everybody at SM High, she picked you. So tell him now."

Correct: 

"Or else I will tell him. God! This doesn't make any sense! If you like him–don't look at me like that– and he likes you, then this will make you both happy! You and Kris are destined to be together. You didn't move to Korea just to be bullied by Subin, Tiffany, Taeyeon, or Krystal. You came here to find love and become an idol. Out of everybody at SM High, she picked you. So tell him now."

Flow (4/5)

The flow is fine, but I feel like it's a bit too slow. Nevertheless, I'm still patient with the pace you're going with this story.

Overall Enjoyment (5/10)

It's another kind of Cinderella story, and there wasn't any big twist that made me attracted to the story. I can still read it, but I tend to scan over it with the scarce description and the many dialogues. 

Total: 46/100 || 46%

I know this is not what I want, but this will help me become a better writer.