Chapter 5 - Music

Soft piano sounds flowed through the dorm, melodious to the ears, calming to the soul. One could just close his eyes and bask in the music, allowing himself to go along with the flow. But none of the occupants of the dorm were there to enjoy the music. One was goodness-knows-where, the other physically but drowning in his own thoughts. Yet it held no matter to the pianist himself. To him, music wasn’t played in order to please someone, more of a way of expressing his thoughts and emotions. The lyrics of the songs repeated itself in his mind, over and over again. Lyrics that wasn’t able to be sang alone, lyrics that he would never be able to sing again.

The main composer of the group sat at the piano, allowing his hands to rest over the keys, music sheet resting on the stand in front of him. He was in charge of composing both the melody and lyrics, with the help of his two other team mates at times. Writing a three person song was always a chore for him. Music wasn’t supposed to be a chore right? But it wasn’t his fault that he was too used to composing songs for a quintet. He still writes, trying to tell story after story after story. Creating magic with lyrics and melodies, creating harmonies for two extra voices he hasn’t heard in far too long and isn’t sure if they still sound the same. Music critics would often label his songs as romance, love-sick, but only his brothers and Cassiopeia truly know the origin of the songs he wrote. Thoughts from his mind and emotions from his heart would flow onto the paper, shaping themselves into words. Lyrics of laughter and joy in the moments of past, a certain heartbreaking sadness to the lyrics of the future, and of the present - regret and wistfulness.

His hands moved over the keyboard and began to play, whichever song that came to his mind first. His ears perked up at the sounds, hauntingly familiar and beautiful, chest constricting tightly as he struggled to breathe. Stop. Stop. He attempted to will his hands to halt the playing but to no avail. The song slowly blends into something just as familiar, but painful too. Why Did I Fall In Love With You. The lyrics wandered at the tip of his tongue, tilting to and fro, threatening to spill out of his mouth, but he wasn’t able to bring himself too. The song moved yet again, Wasurenaide. Yoochun gave a shaky sigh as he played the song, all too familiar over again. The song shifts for the lsat time, his eyes widening as he recognized the music. W. A song that was dedicated to his two other brothers. A song that contained their love for them. A song that held a bright light to the dark future of not able to see them.

The music paused as the body in front of the piano shook with sobs. He allowed himself to cry for a while, letting his emotions to gain the best of him. He had always been dubbed the cry baby of the group, but the tears he shed weren’t only for himself. Back then, he would cry for Yunho, the stubborn leader who cries to take on everything on his own shoulders. He would cry for Jaejoong, the caring hyung who would often overwork himself for the sake of the group and taking care of the members. He would cry for Junsu who keeps all the problems to himself, not wanting to trouble his hyungs. He would cry for Changmin, a youth who is not fully grown but having too much to weigh on his shoulders.

But now, he could no longer be there for the leader, urging him to share his problems with his brothers. He could no longer be there for the eldest, who would often engage himself more in work in an attempt to escape the emptiness in the house. He could no longer be there for the second youngest, who would keep quiet now, retreating into himself. He could no longer be there for the maknae, giving advice on how to cope with the sudden passing of his teenage years and watch him grow up.

He stood up and sighed, clearing the stand free of music sheets, songs that he would never be able to sing on stage, songs that he would never able to sing again by himself, songs that came with an onslaught of emotions every time he heard it. The music sheets have already been smudged with tears, countless of times, but it held no interest to him as he had already etched it into his memory. He moved towards the door, wanting to escape the silence of the studio. He remembered the times when s would use to storm the studio to bother him, at times just for fun, at times to drag the workaholic to sleep. But it would end up with all five of them composing the songs together, throwing music notes and lyrics here and there. Seconds would stretch into minutes, into hours, often dragging onto the wee hours of the night only until the umma’s instinct in Jaejoong kicks in and they would all rush to bed, after saving their work, before Jaejoong could kick them to bed, literally. A sad smile appeared on his face as he walked down the memory lane, only to be shocked back into reality when he crashed into the wall.

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter