Chapter 18 - Never Let Go

Sounds of running echoed through out the corridor as people moved to the side, creating a passageway for the two man to avoid being bulldozed down by either one of them. At the speed that they were running at, the impact would really really hurt. Yunho’s heart pounded in his chest as he quickened his footsteps and increased his pace. He really wanted to talk to Jaejoong. Properly. But the said man was running too quickly for him to catch up. Damn, he thought to himself, Jaejoong must have been working out these past few years. He cursed to himself as he rounded a bend. Jaejoong has disappeared. Again. He growled subconsciously. There was NO way he was going to let Jaejoong slip past his fingers yet again. Not when he was so close, and definitely not after what had just happened. There was no way that he would let Jaejoong leave again.

Yunho slowed down his pace to a walk seeing there was no point in running as Jaejoong had disappeared. Where did he go to? There was only so many places in SM Entertainment that a grown man would be able to hide, and within 5 seconds. He titled his head to his side as he focused on his surroundings. A faint sound could be heard. Could that be what he thought it was? As he neared the origin of the sound, it became more and more clear. Sounds of sniffles drifted into his ear and his stomach dropped. 

Jaejoong had broken down behind a nearby staircase.

He was a mess. All the sorrow and desperation he had been holding in moments before now simply were all oozing out. The elder was hugging his legs to himself, burrowing his head in between both legs, becoming just a heap of trembling limbs on the floor, jittery with frantic gasps and heartbreaking sobs. Yunho felt anger rising in him but he pushed it down. Did the trainees push him to that point? Yunho didn’t even know what he would do to them if they really did.

The TVXQ leader took hesitant steps towards his (ex) lead singer, almost afraid to approach him. His once firm determination crumbled. He didn’t know what to say or to do now. What if he said the wrong thing and broke Jaejoong even more? Maybe even his presence here already upset him. Still, Yunho inched slowly to the elder and  sat down on the side of him.

Jaejoong had stiffened when he felt someone’s presence near him. It must be Yunho. The TVXQ leader was surprisingly persistent as he chased him down when Jaejoong ran out of the room. Secretly, he had been glad the younger had decided to chase after him. It was almost like Yunho was proving the trainees’ words wrong. However, part of him was worried. What if Yunho really had chased him down just to prove them right.

He didn’t want to let Yunho see him now. Not in this state. He resembled a true aversion towards life.

He hugged his legs closer to his body, trying to compress himself as much as he could as the presence made itself more (another word for obvious). What was Yunho going to do to him? Would he rain accusations (he couldn’t call the truths accusations actually) after accusations on him? Would he punch him? Would he just ignore him?

Yunho looked at the broken man in front of him and sighed. He moved over and sat down beside him, inwardly grimacing to himself when the elder stiffened further, if that was even possible. He casted a quick glance at his (ex) lead singer. The man was so still that he could simply blend in among a garden of garden gnomes. The silence hung in the air, threatening to explode any moment. Yunho took a deep breath and swallowed nervously. Looks like it was up to him to break the ice.

“The... The trainees... what did they say to you?”

The question hung in the air as an awkward tension enveloped them yet again. Yunho turned his head to focus on Jaejoong who hadn’t even moved a single muscle. He let let his eyes run over the familiar features that he missed so much. He hadn’t seen the man in years.

Jaejoong’s cheeks had sunk, even more than before. Yunho knew, without a doubt, that the elder had been drowning himself in seas of alcohol, and perhaps also airs of smoke. How could he not know? After all, it was Yunho and Changmin who were the rational ones, steering the soulmates away from the cliff of destruction when they ventured too near the edge. Now, the job fell onto Junsu, and it was as clear as anyone that while Junsu cares for s, he lacks the strictness that only the duo possess. 

The elder’s taunt muscles were clearly shown thanks to his clothing. Judging from how much he had gained, Jaejoong must have lost himself working out again. Either that or he buried himself among his works. The (ex) lead singer of TVXQ had unique ways when it came to dealing with loneliness. He’ll either be somewhere alone by himself, or mingle within a crowd, yet being as anonymous as the person next to him. It was always either on both ends for the elder, never in the middle. Yunho’s eyes noted the change in the elder. His eyes were dim, his smiles no longer meet his eyes, his voice sounded dead. But then again, they were all the same.

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