I squeezed Panda’s hand and I think I heard a couple of his knuckles crack. I wasn’t overly concerned though because of the pressure in my back and lower abdomen that felt as if an elephant were standing on them. I was allergic to the stupid pain relievers, so I had no choice but to bite the bullet and deliver without them. The doctor told me to push and I swear I wasn’t going to make it. SeungRi is crazy if he thinks I’m going through this one more time let alone four. I grunted in pain as I pushed again. There was a flurry of excitement, and I’m sure the doctor said something, but I wasn’t quite sure what. I was given the signal to push again and I was suddenly relieved of the pressure in my lower body. I collapsed back into the bed, and tried to catch my breath. A few moments later a heard a sharp cry and I knew Hana was finally here.

“I’m pretty sure she fractured a couple of my fingers,” SeungRi joked to JiYong. “I just got the feeling back in them.”

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk to me as though I wasn’t right here.”

Everyone was crammed into my hospital room a little while after Hana had been delivered. All these people weren’t actually supposed to be in the room, but the doctor’s daughter was a big fan of k-pop so she turned a blind eye to all my visitors. Youngbae looked shocked and slightly scared as SeungRi told them all about what had happened in the delivery room. The boy really needed to get out more.

“When can we see our joka?” TOP asked from a corner.

“Yeah, I want to see my niece,” Dakota said.

“I haven’t even seen my granddaughter. I get to see her first,” my mom said.

“Not that I don’t love you all,” I said, “but I’m tired and you all need to go home. Come back tomorrow and you can see her. And don’t all of you come at once. I can’t handle all of you at the same time.”

“Heifer, did you really just kick us out?”

“Dakota, you can’t call me a heifer right now. I just gave birth!”

“Leave her alone this time,” Panda said.

“This is between me and her Panda. Stay out of it.”

“Don’t you two start! I’m tired.”

“Fine. We’ll see you tomorrow.” TOP, Dakota, Dae, Youngbae and JiYong left. My parents stayed for a little while longer before my mom couldn’t stay awake anymore. Panda got comfortable in the reclining chair and settled in for the night.

“Panda?”

“Yes Leah?”

“We have a little girl. We’re parents.”

“I know Leah.”

“Panda?”

 “Yes Leah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too Leah.”

The next day the doctor came to check on me. She said there was nothing that seemed out of the ordinary, so I could be released whenever I felt comfortable. A little while later, a nurse came and showed me some things, and gave me a few pointers about mother hood in general, then Panda took me and Hana off to my mother’s house.

When we got home, Dakota and TOP were already there, along with my father and mother. I took Hana into her room and placed her in her crib. I stood over her, amazed that such a blessing was actually mine. I heard footsteps behind me, and I whirled around, slightly annoyed that someone was barging into my private time with my child. My annoyance was quelled when I saw the excited look on Dakota’s face.

“What is it?” I asked.

“I have something for you,” she said. I watched her go in the baby’s closet and stand on her tiptoes to retrieve something from the top shelf. “This is for you and Hana.”

I took the gift and saw that it was a baby book. I opened up the front cover and couldn’t help but laugh. On the page entitled “My Family” was a picture of me, Dakota, and the boys from our day at Lotte World. I didn’t know she had that picture, but it was a nice gift.

“Thanks Dakota, this is really nice.”

“You better keep up with it,” she said. “Don’t let her get to be two years old and the pages still be blank.”

“Yes Dakota,” I said.

I looked at the picture again. Daesung was smiling his signature no-eyes smile, and Youngbae was adjusting his hat with one hand. It looked like Dakota was shaking her head at TOP who was pointing at something outside of the frame. JiYong was throwing up a peace sign, and Panda and I were holding hands and cheesing at each other. Underneath the picture I saw where Dakota had written a caption. Hana’s uncles TOP, JiYong, Youngbae, and Daesung, her aunt Dakota, and her mom and dad: all people who love her very much.