I don’t know how they expect me to be okay. Panda still wasn’t talking to me, and after my showdown with Lee Mi Cha, Daesung had stopped coming around completely. On top of that, I was living with the constant fear that President Yang was going to figure out everything and send me packing. Needless to say, I was stressing like JiYong used to.

            The boys couldn’t handle the house arrest any longer, so they’d gone to headquarters to petition Papa YG and see if they could go to an amusement park or something and Dakota was downstairs watching k-drama reruns. I was sitting on my bed, having the pity party I wasn’t usually allowed to have and nursing a backache and cramps.

            I’m still trying to figure out what I can do to make it all okay. Forget Mi Cha and Dae-oppa. I just need my Panda back. How can I make him understand what I don’t? I flopped backwards onto the bed and let out a huge sigh. I tried to get my mind off my things by playing the DS I’d brought, but never really played. Half an hour of death by Goombas and Koopas didn’t improve my mood, so I threw the console into my bag in frustration. Something rattled, and I searched through the bag until I found the bottle of Tylenol with codeine I’d forgotten I had.

            I picked the bottle up and just stared at it. Dakota came in the room and I jumped, hiding the bottle behind my back. She looked at me weirdly, but she didn’t say anything as she grabbed a book and left the room again.

            As soon as she left, I started staring at the bottle again and thinking. Daesung wanted nothing to do with me. Panda would probably be happier without me around. Dakota could handle these guys on her own, and she’d have TOP at least. I hated to do this to Youngbae, and I could only imagine how JiYong would overreact, but they’d all get over it eventually. Lee Mi Cha had won, and not only would she have Daesung, she would have my life as a prize. I opened the bottle and poured out three or four. There was a cup of something on Dakota’s dresser and I went to drink it when I saw a bottle of Loritab next to it. This is almost like a sign…I thought as I unscrewed the cap and spilled out a few of them. Mixing up the pills in my hand, I threw them all in my mouth and swallowed whatever was in the cup.

            I wonder how long this is going to take. I made my way out of the room and downstairs, figuring that I had a little while until the drugs entered my bloodstream. If I was about to die, then I was going to have one of the pastries JiYong’s mom had sent over the other day. I got down the steps just fine, but I started weaving once I got to the bottom.

            “Are you okay?” Dakota called but I waved her off. I made it safely to the kitchen and bit into one of the sweets. This is definitely a good last meal I thought as I continued to eat. With every bite I was getting dizzier and dizzier but I refused to give in until I finished my treat. I swallowed the last, sugary bite and the world went dark….