Chapter [12] You’re not mine anymore…!

YeSung POV

“sunbaenim.. all ur stuff are fully packed…” EunHyuk stated as he walked into the living room carrying couple of bags..

I looked at MaRi who was placing all her dolls and toys in a tiny bag.. carrying her school bag on her back.. I kneeled and held both her hands.

“MaRi-ah.. r u that excited…?” I asked forcing a smile.

She nodded showing her widest smile.

“yes oppa.. very.. although I will miss ajumma next door but we will still stop by each in a while right…?” she asked and I smiled once again caressing her hair.

MaRi then looked up at Hyuk.

“Eunhyuk oppa will stay alone at home…?” she walked to his side and hugged his leg. “its okay oppa if u hear weird noises at night u can call me I will chase the ghosts out.. just eat and sleep well..”

For some reason I felt silly coz I found my eyes turning wet.

We were moving out.. my father-in-law and SiHan first decision after coming back home is that we should all live together.. I didn’t bother bringing up the topic of me and SiHan –already- having a house of our own, the one we couldn’t even make a first visit to, together because of all the drama that happened before SiHan’s accident..

I looked at Hyuk hugging MaRi and passing her a bar of chocolate before he looked at me.

“u better stay healthy….” And I felt sorrow in his tone.

I tried my best so he won’t notice my hesitant tears.

“its not like am migrating.. we will still meet at work.. when things are all settled….”

“oh! I forgot to pack my socks….” MaRi randomly said before running to her room.

Hyuk walked to my side patting my shoulder.

“I know everything seems just a pure mess to u.. although am against u moving in with Choi family especially at this particular time.. but I still believe that sunbaenim is strong enough to get through this… just get ur head straight.. place the motions aside and think rationally….”

And all what I needed at that moment is a tight hug, and Hyuk as if reading my mind pulled me closer and I wish I could cry.. coz honestly.. the pain I felt deep within my chest was too severe that I wanted to pull my heart out of my chest… maybe then.. my aches will subside.. and so is that miserable life of mine..

End of POV

In Choi’s house

“great… just great.. I knew u could do it Siwon.. appa is very proud of u…” Choi father’s said crossing his legs as he sat facing both Kangin and Siwon, all three were on Choi father’s office inside their house.

Kangin looked at Siwon who was totally out of it.

“appa.. since u approved that Siwon did well.. I guess it’s time for him to start running the marketing department in the company since its his area of study….”

Choi father nodded.

“no problem.. Siwon.. u can start right away.. and since Kangin is busy with his CEO position I will make sure to assign someone else to help u grasping the basic concepts of how to put what u studied into practice…”

Siwon nodded lightly and a knocking sound was heard.

“come in….”

“am I interrupting…?” SiHan asked as he walked in, using a clutch for support, his leg wasn’t covered with gypsum which is a good sign of an advanced level of recovery but he was still having difficulties in walking.

Siwon expression was as gloomy as ever.

“no ur not .. take a seat….” His father said with a smile.

“hyung….” SiHan said patting Kangin’s shoulder as he sat in between him and Siwon.

Kangin smiled.

“I know what’s behind that sly smile of urs Dr.Choi…. no hang over until u make a full recovery…”

SiHan and the father laughed.

“It’s been a while… hyung….” Siwon managed to say these words without stuttering, forcing a smile.

SiHan pinched Siwon’s cheek lightly.

“I know.. and despite the messy way we met after such a long time.. I will make sure we make it up.. how can u look so handsome anyway… who are u taking after….” And he grinned.

Siwon smiled and the father added.

“well ironically I don’t see u guys that similar.. Siwon since he is the maknae his skin looks better and he got a better body…. SiHan ur a bit old.. I can tell who is who by looking at those wrinkles around ur eyes…” the father’s witty comment caused everyone to laugh, Siwon smiled.. despite everything.. he really missed his hyung.

“oh.. I just remembered.. did u call Kim-in-law….” The father asked SiHan and Siwon smile disappeared.

“yes I did.. he is on his way….” SiHan said with a wide smile.

Kangin tested Siwon expression and felt how uneasy the situation is.

“is there anything special.. did u call him over for lunch….?” Kangin asked.

SiHan looked at his father, both exchanged smiles before he adds.

“a little bit more than that.. YeSung is moving in with me.. “

30 minutes later

Kangin followed Siwon who excused himself from the family meeting and ran furiously to his room and started gathering the already-small-amount of his belonging in that house.

“what the hell u think ur doing…?” Kangin asked.

“can’t u see.. ARE U BLIND…” Siwon was almost shouting, throwing his clothes and shoes harshly inside his suitcase.

“SIWON watch ur words.. PLUS.. from whom exactly are u running away? Is this what u told me about before? Fighting for this love.. fighting for what u want.. is running away now will get u what u wanted….?”

Siwon stopped hearing Kangin’s words.

“who knows what am running away from hyung…” his voice was cracking… was he crying?

Kangin sighed before walking to his side before both sat on Siwon’s bed.

“Siwon-ah.. I know this is all crazy now.. but did u consider ur dad’s feelings? He want u to be a part of this family.. like a REAL Choi family member.. ignore my mom we both know she will never accept u.. but my dad willing to.. he already do.. he doesn’t show much emotions but believe me he does….”

SiWon turned to look at his hyung with teary eyes.

“I wish my concern was having a family after 22 years of living in a complete isolation and psychological torture… its this….” And he started hitting his own chest. “only if it stick to be just a blood supplier.. only of it never wakes up from its coma.. “ his tears started falling. “only if I never met him.. I was doing fine by my own.. no family.. no friends.. no hopes or dreams.. he just walking into my life and all what he did was continuously pushing me beyond my limits….” And Kangin pulled him in a hug as he started sobbing.

“Siwon-ah stop this please.. we all knew this was going to happen sooner or later.. regretting ur love for Yesung is not gonna help u get through this.. u two are too deep into this already.. and the thought of escaping itself is more like ur betraying him.. YeSung is as sad and desperate as u are if not even worse.. u think he is doing fine..? why do u think he didn’t say a single word since the moment SiHan walked in all of a sudden…? He is hurting because he can’t run into u and can’t run away from SiHan either….”

Siwon pulled away from the hug and erase away his tears.

“what’s killing me is that I know he can’t just let go of everything now and stick by my side.. SiHan hyung didn’t make a full recovery.. they are still engaged.. my dad really reserve a special spot for YeSung.. and thinking of all of the he has to go through if he just give up everything for me makes me feel terrible.. but….”

“but the thought of him being with another man.. officially engaged to him.. taking care of him..” and Kangin was about to continue before Siwon cut that off.

“and share a room with him too….” Siwon said with a pale smile.

Kangin sighed.

“u guys really need to talk.. “

“I don’t have the courage to look at him in the eye…”

“great Siwon.. just great.. then stay here and grieve coz then the least he will think is the u turned ur back on him…”

“HYUNG U DON’T UNDERSTAND.. I CAN’T BEAR THE THOUGHT OF HIM BEING AROUND.. SO CLOSE TO ME.. RIGHT BY MY SIDE BUT I CAN’T TOUCH HIM.. I CAN’T HOLD HIM.. DAMN.. I CAN’T EVEN HAVE A DECENT COVERSATION WITH HIM.. AND ABOVE ALL OF THAT HE IS MY HYUNG’S MAN NOW.. DO U EVEN KNOW HOW DOES THE THOUGHT BY ITSELF MAKES ME FEEL… JUST DAMN IT….” He screamed his lungs out before pushing Kangin aside, grabbing his suitcase and started running on the stairs when the view before his eyes hit him as his feet landed on the ground floor.

“Siwon-ah… ur brother-in-law is here.. come here.. greet him…” Choi father said with a smile, patting YeSung’s shoulder..

SiWon placed his suitcase on the floor, Kangin joined them as he was running after Siwon before.

Siwon stood facing the elder who looked as pale as ever, they were staring at one another before Siwon felt something holding his leg from behind, he turned around.

“SiHan oppa….. SiHan oppa… this is MaRi.. remember me…? Why do u look so much like the other oppa….” MaRi asked innocently knowing nothing of how deeply her words hit Siwon’s inside.

Siwon though knelt down and caressed her hair.

“MaRi-ah.. this is not SiH……”

“u guys arrived….” SiHan walked in interrupting the other.

“yes.. they did.. it’s a full house now….” Choi father said before laughing.

MaRi turned Siwon face who was looking at his look-alike bro to look at her.

“oppa.. ur Siwon oppa right? Am sorry.. MaRi’s memory is bad.. oppa isn’t mad right…?”

Both Kangin and YeSung couldn’t help but smile at the kid’s curtness.

Siwon nodded before MaRi circle her arms around his neck in a hug.

YeSung was so moved by that scene to notice SiHan arms circling his shoulders.

He was startled.

“I have been waiting since forever…..” SiHan said before kissing YeSung’s forehead.

YeSung was still quite.. he forced a smile before he turn his back, and at the exact moment their eyes met.

Siwon was glad no one noticed that he was carrying a suitcase with reckless intentions in mind.. he felt Kangin tapping on his shoulder.

“come on everyone.. why r we standing here.. let’s go to the living room….” He suggested before squeezing on Siwon shoulder as he walked then to SiHan’s side and dragged him to the living room first.

“let’s go….” Choi father said carrying MaRi on his shoulder… YeSung looked at SiHan’s back, he smiled knowing why did Kangin just did that….

“u look tired….” Siwon initiated startling the other.

“umm.. i didn’t sleep for 2 days so…” he said in trembling tone.

Siwon smirked before walking closer to the other.

For the next 3 days, the situation was getting more and more tense.. YeSung was still so quiet for SiHan not to notice that his lover is behaving so abnormally.. he didn’t push it though.. he thought to himself that YeSung really needed time.. its been close to 10 months.. the accident.. and before that.. they period of coldness in their relationship.. he never thought not for a second that YeSung forgot about that.. maybe that’s why he kept silent and decided to give the other enough time to cope with the new situation.. not to mention that under his father’s insistence.. he had to get YeSung to move in with him.. not that he feel uncomfortable.. for some reason, he already feels as a newlywed and his feelings for YeSung were all exploding all over again.. but SiHan being his calm and rational self-decided to keep the situation the way it is for now, he knew that the awkwardness and tension will eventually subside.

Siwon on the other hand decided to start his new job, he was pushing it way too far as he will spend over 12 hours a day at the company, he was drowning himself in work as he was so confused and lost himself.. all of the stuff they had to go through was too much for his mentality to function and maintain its stability..

YeSung again was silent.. very quiet to the point even his mother-in-law who doesn’t really like him the slightest bit started to worry.. he was spaced out most of the time, he will spend the entire time with his little sis as his father-in-law asked him to forget about his job for a while… he will sit on the dining table with them but it was his body that’s present.. SiHan skin-ship and soft patting and hugging was received with a pale smile or a nod.

“oppa am hungry…”

Moving to his in-laws house wasn’t as bad as it might seem anyway, because he gets to spend more time with his sister.. although he couldn’t cry in front of her.. whenever those emotional attacks will strike him once a thought of Siwon or his current situation will invade his thoughts… he was still very grateful that MaRi was almost the only person whom will never question him, judge him, blame him.. remind him of promises he made.. after all he was glad.. because despite all the heartache and the bittersweet memories he made with the Choi’s.. he was glad they somehow helped him strengthening his bond with his sis.

“here Is jam as well.. u can’t go to bed before u finish ur toast…” YeSung said with a smile, caressing his sister’s hair as they were having a peaceful time together in the kitchen… it was around 10:00 p.m & both Choi parents drift off to bed already.. Kangin is working in his office still… SiHan went to take a shower..

YeSung sighed as the thought of the constant absence of the last member of the family his head.

YeSung was pouring  some milk to MaRi when he heard some noises coming from the front door.

Is it Siwon….?

He then looked at his watch to check the time.

Its 10:00 am right..

How come he is back home early today…?

MaRi finished her meal so she held her oppa’s hand.

“oppa am done.. let’s go to bed…”

YeSung smiled but before he makes one step out of the kitchen…. He walked in…

YeSung froze…

“oppa…………..” MaRi called before running to Siwon’s side.

“oh MaRi-ah….” Siwon knelt once again and caressed her hair… he looked at YeSung then immediately turn his focus to MaRi.

“how come ur still awake..? don’t u have school tomorrow…?”

She nodded.

“yes.. I was going to bed.. Yesung oppa just made me dinner… u should have dinner before u sleep too….” She then turned to look at YeSung. “oppa make sure Siwon oppa eats a lot.. he can’t sleep without having a dinner.. his dimples will disappear if he gets skinnier….” She chuckled before kissing Siwons’s cheek and running to her room.

MaRi words alerted him… Siwon was really looking a bit thinner…

“u…. u just arrived…” YeSung asked.

Siwon ignored him and walked to the refrigerator.

“there is some mango juice.. I know u like it so if ur hungry u can….”

“just SHUT UP OKAY… MIND UR OWN BUSINESS….” Siwon yelled at the other.

YeSung almost jumped in shock but then he felt terrible… Siwon never treated him this way.. even when he had to work as his boss.. that stubborn Siwon wasn’t this fierce..

“well… good night then….” YeSung wanted to run and drown himself in his pillow & cry his eyes out.. but his feet felt so heavy that he barely can drag them out of that kitchen.. away from that scary Siwon.. he heard Siwon harshly looking for plated and spoons.. he felt that dark aura behind him but all what he could was sighing… he was one step away from leaving the kitchen when he heard a BAAAAAAAAANG followed by the younger screaming in pain…

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUHHHHH….”

YeSung was startled, he turned around and saw Siwon holding his shoulder that was bleeding..

Oh! is it the wound… again??????

YeSung ran to his side.

“what the hell.. what happened….”

Siwon was as his wound was bleeding, the right side of his shirt was almost fully covered in blood.

“the pot.. that steel pot..  it was placed above the refrigerator.. it fall on my shoulder…..” Siwon managed to say, stuttering…

YeSung looked at the pot beside the younger.

Who the hell placed that there ><

YeSung tried to pull the other up.

“Siwon-ah be careful.. come here.. we need to clean the wound and change ur gauze….” YeSung said erasing the sweat from the younger’s forehead.

“just leave it.. I can do this myself….” Siwon was still stubbornly protesting.

“NO YOU CAN’T.. STOP THIS FOR NOW OKAY….!!!” And he helped the other standing and walking all the way to Siwon’s room upstairs.

15 minutes later

Yesung helped Siwon taking off his shirt, he took off the old gauze and clean the wound before applying an ointment and wrapping the younger’s shoulder and left arm with new gauze.

Siwon was staring at the other the whole time… he was thinking to himself.. how was he able to avoid him.. how did he fight the urge to run to him… to hug him tightly… why did he have to act so y although he knew that by doing so he is making it even harder for YeSung…

“We’re done… do u feel better now…?” Yesung asked in concern, but his face was showing some life now.. earlier he was more like a living dead.

Siwon closed his eyes as a sign of “yes”..

“u should be careful next time.. ur wound is still not fully recovered….” YeSung said gathering the stuff he used to put them back on the aid box when Siwon held both his hands.

YeSung looked into the younger eyes… and he almost gasped seeing the tears swinging in Siwon’s eyes..

“how can u be so stupid….?!” Siwon asked trembling… YeSung looked at him in confusion..

“after all the ur going through.. and my harsh way of treating u… u still can smile at me.. worry over my health.. whether ma eating or not.. asking me to watch out and be careful… but out of all of this.. u forgot to ask me one thing.. that is more important than all of that….”

“Siwon-ah……”

“u forgot to ask me if am living or not…..” Siwon let a tear fall off of his eye.

“Siwon-ah stop it please….” YeSung closed his eyes not willing to see the younger one crying.

“I die millions of times a day because of u hyung… because ur this close to me but equally far.. didn’t u say u will be mine.. forever always.. sticking by my side… then why did u break the promise… u think the Siwon u knew few months ago is the same one holding u now… u think I can bear with the thought of life of my own.. a life that doesn’t include u.. u think it’s enough for me now as it used to be before.. it’s enough to have my insecurities and grieve over my mother and my miserable life.. u think these r still enough for me to live when ur not around….”

YeSung placed his hand on Siwon’s exposed chest.

“this… I promised to take care of it remember….? If its no longer enough for u to life with ur fears and misery… then I no longer have a heart of my own.. life of my own.. dreams of my own.. it’s all about you… and only you Siwon… please try to understand….”

Siwon held YeSung hand that was on his chest and used it to pull the other closer into a hug.

“am sorry hyung…..”

“for what….” YeSung circled the younger’s .

“for falling short to you… I wanted to hide.. I couldn’t bear with the thought of u belonging to another man.. even though this man is my own brother.. I knew u will never let go of him because then u won’t be the same Yesung I fell in love with… turning ur back on someone u shared a part of ur life with.. someone u dedicated ur emotions and heart to ……”

“that was on the past….” YeSung pulled away. “I do have to stick by SiHan’s side for now… but I no longer have any feelings for him… I acknowledged that, the moment I fell in love with u Siwon.. so stop mentioning that coz it really hurts… how could u think of me being other man’s… do u know how crappy it feels….”

Siwon nod.

“I know more than anyone.. how it feels.. its still fresh.. now as I will have to send u away to him.. it hurts even more… I wish I go blind before I see u between his arms.. holding his hands… sleeping in his bed….”

“SIWON STOP!!!!” Yesung was looking so angry and tired once again.

Siwon avoided looking at him in the eyes.

“what? What is it now… what the hell are u thinking now Siwon….?” YeSung was on the verge of breaking down.

“u slept with him….?” Siwon suddenly asked with a stiff expression and deep tone.

“WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!” YeSung was taken aback by the sudden question.

“am asking u this Yesung so tell the truth… u owe me this much…..”

YeSung expression was blank.

Siwon turned to look at him.

“at the time before we met.. when it was only the two of u.. did u guys….”

“NO….”

“Yesung please….”

“I SAID NO SIWON NO.. NO THEN… NOT AFTER…”

“not yet….?”

“NOT EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” it was Yesung’s turn to let his tears run all over his face.

Siwon sighed before holding his hands but YeSung pulled away.

“u treat me like .. u yell at me.. u make me feel hundred times more miserable and now u ask me if I slept with ur hyung.. all of this and u still claim that u love me.. what love will make u walk down on me like this.. do I look that cheap to u.. am engaged to a man whom I don’t even look at, to let him touch me and ur here getting all worked up because of ty thoughts of me making love to another man.. how admirable of u Siwon.. am deeply touched….”

Siwon felt miserable making the elder cry and feel the way he said he did.

He then pulled YeSung into another hug & the elder didn’t refuse or reject him this time.. he was undeniably hurt by Siwon words but equally yearning to his touch and embrace.

“I missed u…..” Siwon said, breathing into the elder’s hair.

YeSung nod on Siwon’s still-bare chest trying to hold back so that no more tears will fall off of his eyes.

Siwon pulled away slowly. He held YeSung chin forcing  the other to look at him straight in the eye.

“am lacking.. am terrible and hard-headed.. but this idiotic me loves u more than anything else.. he’s crazy about u that the thought of u even looking at another man will drive him nuts.. “ he then kissed YeSung tears away startling the elder who was gradually starting to calm down.

“I missed u too.. rock-head…” Yesung said in a low tone that turned out too cute for his own knowing.

Siwon smiled before kissing the elder’s nose.

“u know what I miss more than this silly-looking you…?” Siwon asked pulling the other closer if that was even possible.

YeSung nod before looking down at Siwon’s half-bare chest… “this….” He said before leaning forward kissing the younger’s lips gently.

Siwon was a bit startled by the elder’s move but it’s not that he was complaining… their kiss was growing more passionate when Siwon decided to break their connected lips and moved down to Yesung’s neck, drawing a line of kissed and bites on the elder’s neck causing him to moan.

“Siwon-ah….''  he called his name… for no particular reason… he then found himself placing his small hands on Siwon’s bare chest pushing him gently… for support or rejection..he didn’t really know… they both didn’t know where was this leading to… not until a knock on the door was heard.

“Siwon-ah… r u there….?”

It was SiHan.

YeSung immediately stood up and Siwon pulled his neglected clean shirt and put it on before answering with. “Yes hyung… come in….”

SiHan walked in and was a bit surprised to see YeSung there.

“ur here ? I have been calling u.. why didn’t u pick up ur phone….?” SiHan asked in concern.

“u did.. am just.. I had to.. make dinner.. to MaRi.. my phone.. I don’t really.. I don’t know where I placed it….” YeSung stuttered, the aid box shaking in his hands.

SiHan walked closer to his fiance.

“what’s with the aid box…. Omg baby did u hurt ur self….” SiHan asked holding both of Yesung arms.

YeSung was about to answer when Siwon interrupted.

“I hurt my shoulder while making myself some dinner.. Yesu…. I mean brother-in-law was there and helped me changing the bandage and the gauze…”

SiHan sighed before pulling YeSung into a hug.

“thanks god.. my heart almost skipped a beat….”

Siwon looked away avoiding the view that was disturbing not his eyes but even his breathing.

YeSung pulled away and turned to look at Siwon.

“please let me know if u need to change the bandage next time.. am all for it….” YeSung said touching his neck in a cute gesture… Siwon surprisingly smiled…

Is he still under the effect of our brief make out from earlier…

Siwon’s smile though didn’t last long as he saw SiHan circling YeSung’s waist before announcing.

“well.. am worried neither one of u will be able to play nurse-patient… since this handsome fiance of mine and myself will be holding our wedding ceremony in 3 weeks from now…..”

Next Morning

It was breakfast time when Choi parents, SiHan, Kangin and YeSung gathered on the dining table.

“WOAH omma the breakfast today is my favourite…. “ SiHan said while chewing food.

“I know baby that’s why I asked Kim in-law to help me preparing for it….” His mother said, surprising YeSung who did nothing really but it seems that SiHan’s mother is back to her old games of treating him well only when SiHan is around.

“that make it not only yummy but addictive…” SiHan said holding YeSung's hand…

YeSung smiled before taking his hand off of the other’s grip causing SiHan to lose his smile.. even Kangin who was watching silently noticed SiHan’s change in expression…

“Mrs. Choi.. there is a lady on the door asking to meet you..” the maid said interrupting the family gathering.

Choi father smiled widely before winking to his wife who gave a forced smile.

“let her in….”

“ur okay….?” SiHan asked Yesung who nod his head not looking at the other.

The lady from earlier walked in, a very very very fashionable and good-looking one!… Kangin was a bit shocked seeing this latter.

“Victoria-ssi….?” Kangin called in confusion causing both SiHan and YeSung to look at the lady’s side.

“Good morning everyone….” She greeted with a bow.

Choi father stood up and smiled before pointing at her.. he then added.

“Guys.. let me introduce u to Victoria.. my future daughter-in-law….”

Everyone looked confused until Choi mother said with a sarcastic tone.

“she is that beggar’s girlfriend…. Choi Siwon’s to-be-wife soon… greet her everyone…..”

End of chapter [12]

A.N : another update… one of those that am not really happy or satisfied with =.= some of u might notice the lack of interaction between YeSung & SiHan but that was intentional in this chapter.. u will see more of that starting the next one… there is also MinJung lol did u guys still remember her…? She will cause a critical twist in events for the few chapters remaining in this story.. my author intuition is telling me that this story might end in maximum of 6 more chapters.. I will do my best on the remaining one.. so plz keep supporting me till the near-coming-end..

Love u all and thanks for all ur adorable & supportive comments..

I guess I flunked on the use of English on this chapter.. it’s not my native language so plz forgive me for that..

Sorry for any typos/grammatical mistakes..

Comments are always loved <3