A clear ‘ding’ from the keyboard resounds in the studio as I press my fingers on one of the white keys. The studio was not small, that’s for sure, but it was just enough to house about eight or so people on the L-shaped sofa. The walls were padded with sound-proofing material of a dark, cream colour and the furniture was an eclectic harmony of white and dark timber.  I don’t even think I would mind staying here for four days straight. Placing my bag on the table in front of the couch, I stare at Ji Yong who had already found his seat at the complex machinery right in front of the recording booth. Now, I wished I never gave up on music when I was a kid. Maybe then, I could understand him better. I had simply thought it was bothersome to learn the piano, never realizing what kind of world I was actually missing out on.

“Come here,” he tells me, and I do. He brings up some audio file on the screen with a multitude of rows, which I guessed were layers of sounds. “Listen.” He presses play and a smooth piano melody begins to unwind, which was followed by some echoing electronic sounds. It was beautiful, and then I hear his familiar hum of the melody from the audio, a mere substitution for the intricate lyrics I knew he was going to create for it.

“I’m singing my blue-s,” a soft voice finally rings out from the speakers, singing the only makeable words I hear. It was an incomplete piece, but I had already felt his honesty in it and something inside me tugged in sympathy.

“You wrote this back then didn’t you?” I guess, and he nods in response.

“Making the most out of a bad situation,” he says nonchalantly. I put my elbows on the table beside him, and lean over to face him, matching his eye-level.

“It’s really sad,” I state bluntly. Then I smile a little when he turns to me with a blank expression, as if telling me that I was stating the obvious. I continue, more seriously this time. “It has such an honest melody. It really doesn’t deserve to be locked up in this room.”

“I haven’t found the right voice for it yet.” Or voices, I tell myself. He wrote it with the five of them in mind.

“You will,” I assure him. Suddenly he swivels his chair to face me, and I gasp at the close proximity of our faces. Without realizing it, I stand up. The comforting atmosphere of the studio suddenly disappeared, and the air grew still.

“Ri Ah-ya.” He says my name softly after what seems like an eternity. He slides his fingers slowly between mine and I could already picture what was coming next. Even I knew we were moving too fast and the fact that we were at such different points in our lives just made everything more complicated. None of us were ready to commit to anything. I felt my resolve as a woman break as tears begin to sting my eyes, quickly turning my head away before he sees. I see a reflection of myself in the recording booth window in front, embodying every feminist’s worst nightmare; another girl about to cry helplessly after a man. This is stupid. This is not me. It’s only been a week, damn it; how much could I have possibly fallen in such a short time? I try to blink my tears away as I feel him stand up beside me and lean against the table right in front of me, blocking my view. His hand was still barely grabbing on to my fingers.

“I understand. I get it,” I choke out as normally as I could, finally getting the confidence to set my eyes on his.

“I don’t think you do,” he explains, “It’s not as simple as you think.” I see his pained expression, and I knew what I had to do.

“Ji Yong. It is simple. I’m going to make it simple.” And I pull my fingers out of his grasp, walking towards my bag as fast as I could before the tears really begin to fall. If didn't know how to end it, I'll do it.

“What are you scared about?” I hear him suddenly say as I place my hand on the door handle, ready to leave. “The fact that we’re so different? Or the fact that I come with baggage?” I turn my head and face him in disbelief. Now I was angry. There is no way he’s putting this on me.

“I am NOT scared, Ji Yong,” I say menacingly, slowly making my way towards him,“I knew what I was getting myself into when I let you take me home that night. It was you that took two steps forward and three steps back each time.”

“What?” he asks, irritation clear in his voice. Before I knew it I was standing in front of him, seething, and not once did he leave his position at the table. Well, I lost that nonverbal fight.

“Don’t pretend. Who would lead a girl on, share what we’ve shared and still put her at arm’s length? I listened to you and you know that I care about you and your music and your life and you still want to push me away. I’m not stupid, I’m not going to stay where someone doesn’t want-” My angry speech gets cut off as he strongly pulls on my arm, jerking me towards him so that I was now against his entire front,  standing between his legs with my hands on his chest. He looks at me, and I catch my breath. 

“You don’t want to stay?” he whispers, suddenly inching his face closely to mine.

“No,” I breathe, involuntarily staring at his lips and seeing them moving closer. This is getting too intense.

“Even when you care?” My mind is in a flurry, as I feel him move even closer, his soft breath on my lips.

“I take it back,” I barely manage to say. The last thing I see is a slight smirk and then my lips come crashing onto his, no thanks to his hand which was now at the back of my head. This was not a soft, first kiss; far from it. Some unknown, raw desire from the both of us overtook any signs of sanity, as I quickly opened my mouth and let him in, our tongues desperately moulding against each other. I wrap my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss as he slides his hands from my head to a comfortable place at the small of my back. It was only the need for air that forced us to break our contact. 

“What the hell?” he asks breathlessly, “Where did that come from?” He lets out of small laugh, and reaches up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ears. I could only shrug and grin in return. At this point, I didn’t trust anything coming out of my mouth, my heart felt so full.