Like two people who were sickeningly tied to each other, Ji Yong and I lay on the couch for a long while, his hands wrapped securely around my waist. My back was against him though, because I was afraid that looking at him would just make me burst into tears. I was weak like that.

“See? Telling you won’t help at all. Now my thoughts are all messed up,” he says a little frustrated.

“I just wanted to know Ji Yong. Something like this, it would’ve been nice to hear it straight from you.”

“But now how am I going to objectively decide if you’re just telling me to leave?”

“We both know what you should do; it’s as easy as that.”

“Not really.”

“What I don’t get is why you’re so determined to stay.”

“All of this, including you. This normal life where I go to work and then I can come home to you, I realize that it’s what I’ve been missing all my life. I don’t want to ruin it.” This is where my determination starts to show cracks. I know what I’m supposed to do, but how is my head supposed to fight against my heart and his? I close my eyes and breathe.

“Kwon Ji Yong, you don’t belong with normal.”

“I belong with you. You know I would choose you over music and fame any day.” A small smile appears on my lips. To me, hearing those words was more than enough. Now I was even surer that I would be the one pushing and shoving him back up into the spotlight, not dragging him down.

“I want someone I can respect. Not someone that hides behind me. I’m telling you to go Ji Yong.” It was an ultimatum. I get up and head out, you know, for a lasting dramatic effect.

“Then what’s going to happen to us?” His hard tone makes me stop for a moment.

“I don’t know,” I say honestly and open the front door. I really had no clue.

I haven’t really talked with Ji Yong about it since then. When Tae Yang and Minzy returned to Korea a few weeks later, the big, fat blaring problem they came with seemed to leave with them and everything reverted back to normal; just like he wanted. Then life continued to happen, and the issue was buried even further. Ji Yong was busy as Edan and I was busy as Jess’ confidante along with meeting my approaching thesis deadline; so much that I got sick. I couldn’t eat, I was burning up like mad and my body refused to move out of the bed. Yes, I think to myself, as I stare at the ceiling of my bedroom, this is what life is like. Although this is my life, not his; if Ji Yong was G-Dragon and he was in my position right now, I don’t think he’d even have time to just lie in bed and be taken care of.

“Erika, get up you have to eat,” my mom softly says as she enters my room with a tray of hot soup and a bowl of rice. No matter the situation, my mom’s always been there for me when I get sick, making sure that I take my meds and am eating well. Although I only see her once a week ever since I moved out, this is our little tradition that neither of us wanted to give up because it’s when we both feel loved the most. The smell of steaming hot chicken soup makes my mouth salivate, but the rest of my body refuses to do anything except shut down and just rest. I feel like absolute crap.

“I really don’t think I can.” I’m almost whispering because I have no strength.

“Here let me help you mother*,” a familiar voice says from outside my bedroom. The next thing I know Ji Yong is at my bedside helping me up so that I’m sitting upright with my back leaning against a pillow. I look around the room. There’s something unusually strange about this dynamic, especially considering that one’s a parent, the other’s someone I’m seeing and they’re both taking care of me like it’s all nice and chummy. I’m pretty sure they haven’t met. My head already feels like it’s going to explode so I just stay silent and let Ji Yong feed me one mouthful at a time. This is so awkward, that I’m so glad I’m only partially sane. Thankfully, my mom leaves the room once she sees her food slowly being consumed. For what seems like a very long time, I can only hear the clink of the spoon against the bowl and the sound of me swallowing.

“Not that I don’t appreciate it, but why are you here?” I finally ask him, hoping to end the silence.

“You weren’t answering my calls, so I came. Then I helped your mom cook this,” he explains, holding out another mouthful of soup and rice, “Thank god you got me used to a kitchen knife, I got to show off a little to her.”

“Guess it worked then, considering you’re on such good terms with her.”

“Of course she’ll like me; I think she’s angrier at you for hiding such a fine man like me.” I let out a nervous laugh. He’s right, I am so dead.

“Sorry for not picking up your call, I’ve been sleeping since yesterday evening.”

“If you were so sick, why didn’t you tell me?” He puts down the now empty bowl on the bedside table and helps me ease back down onto a lying position on my bed. After tucking me in, he kisses me on the forehead and finds a seat on the floor near me.

“That’s usually when my mom comes to the rescue.” Ji Yong nods.

“Are you… sick because of me? Because of Big Bang?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. My thesis is out all of my energy, not you. But you know what, I’m going to stay sick just a little longer so my mom won’t ask me questions and invite you over.”

“She already did though.”

“No way,” I groan and throw the blanket over my head. What a mess.

“As soon as we’re both available, mother said. Now sleep, I’m going downstairs to help wash up and bond a little more with her.” I can literally see his grin through my eyelids as he says that. Ji Yong squeezes my hand a little then walks out, closing the door behind him and the world soon turns pitch black once again.  

*As in eomeoni, the formal way of saying mom in Korean

AN: I'm sorry, I think updates will be a little slower now since I'm going to be a little busy. Thanks again everyone and it's good to know you're really liking it! =D