They sat there in silence, trying to figure out what to say to one another. It had been days since they saw one another.

“I missed you.” He coughed. She didn’t know if she felt the same anymore.

“Luhan…” She started.

“No, Miyoung, I don’t want to break up, I love you. We could talk this over, I promise.” He nodded hopefully.

“Like I said before, Luhan, when you’re gone my life still goes on. I have an appointment, I’ll see you later.” She got up from the table, leaving Luhan to think about what he had done.

She was one her way to meet a publishing agent, she had placed the box filled with notebooks in her car beforehand. She wondered if anyone else felt the same, the heartache she was currently suffering from by being in a relationship with an idol. She had finished writing in her latest journal that was going to be the last one, hopefully for a while.

##

“Chansung-sshi, how do you feel about it?” She nervously played with her necklace.

“I like it, I really do like it Miyoung-sshi. Your writing, how you portray these feelings, it has a lot of potential.” He nodded. “I think I will show these to my boss.” He placed the first notebook on the table.

She smiled, “Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity.”

“No, thank you. We get a little look of what it’s like to be in an actual relationship with an idol. All we would need to do is change the names and whatnot.”

“How do you think you will print them? I mean there is a lot…”

“Well, if we do get you the deal, we could probably do it by cutting out some things, and maybe three or four notebooks to a book so four books in total maybe?”

“That would be good.” She nodded; they talked a little more before parting, Chansung taking all the notebooks to review them. She couldn’t help but feel a little empty without them.

##

“How did it go? With the publisher agent?” Sehun asked, eating some noodles.

“It went fine; he thinks it could be published.” She nodded. “Luhan came home…”

“Really?” He tried to act surprised.

“Yeah, but it felt off, I want to fix things up with him, but then I don’t.” She picked at her food.

“Do what feels right, if you want to be with him, be with him. Otherwise, just leave it.”

She nodded her head, he continued to eat. ‘I had so many times.’ He thought about telling her about Luhan and his girls in China as well.

Her phone rang breaking the silence, “Hello, Chansung?” She listened intently her smile plastered on her face. “Are you serious? It’s only been a few hours!” She exclaimed. “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“My notebooks are getting published.” She let out a sigh. “They said that it was too interesting to pass up.”

“Wow, that’s great, we should celebrate. Let’s call the guys?” He suggested.

“No, we can’t let Luhan or anyone know, I want to tell Luhan myself. Maybe even after the last notebook is published.”

“Why?”

“You’ll see.” She smiled at him. 

njeoklr;sd. updated~ :3 

hope you like it~ 

I wonder what her plan is... can you guess?