“Hyung, you’re awake!” Said Kyuhyun

“What time is it? I feel like I’ve slept for hours.” Kibum still didn’t know what happened. “And where are we?” Kibum looked closer around him.

“We’re in the hospital” said Leeteuk

“Hospital? But why?”

“Why?” asked Heechul rude  

“Did I faint again?” Kibum was clueless, he had no idea of what happened.

“I wish you had.. I wish that was the reason why we’re here.” Said Heechul without thinking of how he would take it without knowing his reasons.

“Hyung.. Did I do something wrong?” When he said that Eunhyuk couldn’t hold it in anymore and started crying. Seeing him like that Kibum had an idea of what was going on.

“Kibum.. I-I want you to listen to me carefully and ..” Leeteuk was saying but Kibum didn’t let him finish and interrupted him.

“Don’t tell me he did it after all?” Kibum was recalling what happened in the dorm before the surgery. “TELL ME HE DIDN’T!” he yelled

“Kibum please, don’t make this harder than it already is.” Leeteuk tried to calm him down

“Make what harder… JUST TELL ME THAT HE DIDN’T DO IT… P-PLEASE!” Kibum was getting teary, every second that was passing by told him what he had lost.

“Kibum, please! Don’t do this.. Do you want his effort to be for nothing?” said Kangin

Kibum started crying. He couldn’t breathe anymore, everything seemed like a nightmare to him.

Kibum couldn’t believe what was going on, it all didn’t make sense. The members tried so hard to calm him down, to let him see the good side of it even though they didn’t knew the good side of it themselves.. The nurse gave him a calming middle and after that he calmed down a little, the boys told him everything, what Donghae’s last words were and his reasons, and that he had left a video for them to watch after he woke up. No matter what, it didn’t hit him that after couple of hours Donghae would be gone forever from this world.   

Flashback

“Can I talk to you alone Park jung soo?” asked the doctor after he told them that the surgery was successful

“S-sure” he said

“What is it doctor?” Leeteuk was getting scared ‘Please don’t let anything be wrong with Kibum!’ All kind of thoughts were going through his mind.

“I’m sorry for asking this but we need your approval to stop Donghae’s life machine”

“W-what? What do you mean life machine?”

“It means that after the operation Donghae didn’t die..” without letting him finish Leeteuk interrupted him

“WHAT? He’s still alive?” Leeteuk was getting overexcited thinking that Donghae was back again.

“He didn’t die.. Just not yet.”

“what do you mean not yet?” The doctor sure was making him confused.

“After removing the liver, the patient doesn’t die on the surgery table.. the patient still has 6 or 7 hours and sometimes even a day until every organ stops functioning normally and that the heart stops beating.” He explained

“O-oh.. so eventually you’re still staying he will die? I don’t even know why I got my hopes up!” Leeteuk was disappointed again.

“Park Jung Soo, do you give us your permission to stop the machines?”

“Why do you need to stop it, can’t you let him die in peace? WHY DO I NEED TO GIVE YOU MY PERMISSION TO KILL SOMEONE?!”

“Because.. Because he won’t die in peace, when slowly his organs stops functioning he will be in pain!”

End of flashback

Leeteuk decided that he will not give them his approval to stop the machines.. He just can’t end his life!

After thinking about if they should or shouldn’t watch the video, they decided to watch it after all. Everyone was so nervous for some reason.

“Is everyone ready?” asked Leeteuk hoping for a no.

“Just play the damn thing already” said Heechul

He pushed the play button and Donghae appeared, at first Donghae didn’t know what to say so he just sat there in silence for more than 3 minutes.

“Haay guys… How are you?” Just hearing Donghae’s voice Siwon suddenly started crying, shindong went over to him and gave him a hug while he was crying himself.

“.. How are you? – I asked that already, right? I’m sorry..” Donghae was really confused in the video, he just couldn’t find the right words to say “This is stupid! – I am stupid!”

“Yes you are!” Heechul agreed to what he said

“I know I don’t deserve to ask you to forgive me but still.. please forgive me for leaving like that.. and please understand! – I just didn’t want to lose any one of you guys.. Super Junior means the world to me! You mean the world to me! How do you expect me to watch and see him die? Or any one of you!” Donghae started crying in the video

“If it wasn’t Kibum but someone else in Super Junior, I would do the same, because I can’t imagine my life without you any one of you and I won’t! I would rather die than seeing one of you die!”

Everyone was watching really carefully with tears falling from their eyes.. They didn’t want to blink because they were afraid that they would miss something.

“After my father died..” Donghae stopped talking and took a breath and then continued “When he died, I wanted to die too, I just didn’t want to live without him but .. but ..but you guys..” It was so hard for him to talk about this, he stopped several times to breathe. “You guys gave me hope, you gave me life, dreams.. you gave me a family.. So if another member of my family would be gone .. I – I don’t think I would be able to handle it.. So please.. Please forgive me and never forget me! I know I ask too much and I know I don’t have the right to!”   Donghae’s video was coming to an end, he had one more thing to say before he pushed the stop button

“Kibum-ah.. Please don’t be angry. I know deep down you understand me so please don’t blame yourself for this and just live a happy life! I won’t forgive you if you’ll be sad all the time.. you have to promise me that you will enjoy life as much as possible and try to make the best out of everything.. Oh I almost forgot, don’t drink alcohol! Well, you can drink a little but not too much, okay?” Donghae smiled to the camera and waved at them and turned off the camera.

“Wh—what is this?” said Eunhyuk “Hyung, there’s something wrong with the dvd player!” He was crying so hard, it just didn’t hit him that the video was over. “Hyung?” He turned around and looked at Leeteuk with eyes full of questions. “Why doesn’t it play further? Hyung please fix it, I can’t see Donghae anymore! SOMEONE PLEASE FIX IT!” He turned around again, Leeteuk went over to him and hugged him.

“Eunhyuk-ah” he said

“What? What is it hyung?”

“Eunhyuk-ah.. it’s over, the video is over.” Leeteuk could feel his body shaking, so he held him tighter but Eunhyuk pulled him away “What do you mean it’s over? … It can’t be over.. No, it’s not over.. He didn’t say anything to me, there is one more thing he has to say” Eunhyuk couldn’t stand on his legs anymore and  fell on the floor.

“Eunhyuk, please don’t do this to yourself! Just calm down! You know tha…” Leeteuk couldn’t finish his sentence because Kibum interrupted him.

“Where is he?” Asked Kibum

“You can’t go see him right now.” Said Kangin

“JUST TELL ME WHERE HE IS!”

“NO! you ca..” Kangin was saying but got interrupted by Leeteuk “ It’s okay, Kangin… He’s in the next room left.”

“Thank you!” Kibum took out the needle from his arm, got of the bed and rushed out of the room. At first he couldn’t enter the hospital room where Donghae was lying, he couldn’t imagine how it would be like seeing him lie there. After hesitating for a minute he walked in and saw him lying so peacefully, it was like he was just sleeping.

“Get up now… I said you can get up now!” No matter what they did, heard or saw it didn’t seem like Donghae was gone. “ I know you’re faking it, so get up!” he touched him to wake him up but there was no response. “Wh-who told you to do it, he?” Kibum was getting teary “WHY did you do it? You’re so selfish, you know that? You say you can’t live if one of the members is gone but you expect us to go on like nothing happened?” He was talking to him like he could he him. “This life means nothing to me without you, how cou- how could you do this to me?”

Kibum was crying his heart out when a nurse came in, he quickly dried his tears away.

“It’s okay.. you don’t have to hide your tears.” Said the nurse

“What? – oh, I was crying.” He said and took Donghae’s hand “Huh?”

“What’s wrong?” asked the nurse.

“His hand.. it’s still warm.. Doesn’t your body supposed to be cold when you’re dead?”

“That’s because he’s not dead yet.”

“What do you mean, not dead yet?” Kibum was getting confused, he didn’t know if he should be happy or sad.

“He’s in a coma, he has a couple of hours until his heart will stop beating.” The nurse explained. Right when she was done with checking up everything the rest of the members came in.

“We should say our goodbyes properly!” said Leeteuk, they all gather around Donghae but Kibum suddenly started walking backwards in fear. “Goodbye?” only the idea was terrifying to him “No! I’m not going to say anything.. he’s not gone, she” he pointed at the nurse “She said he’s not dead yet” While approaching the door he heard a women crying and yelling “NO.. HE CAN’T BE DEAD!” Kibum ran out to see who it was.

“KIBUM!” called Siwon

“Let him be, I don’t think he’s ready.” Leeteuk stopped Siwon from going after him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haay everyone, I'm sorry that I updated so late and that my chapters are always so short! When I thought of this story it was supposed to be a one chapter story but somehow I wanted make it a longer story. The story is coming to an end, it still has one or two chapters left and I know my writing and story line but still I am very happy that some people read my story and liked it, I never thought that someone would read it.

Thank you so much for reading and for your patience!!