After taking Kibum to the hospital, it was time for the surgery. Kibum was already brought to the operation room and it was time to take Donghae inside but before that he had something to say.

“Listen everyone, before I go in, I want to tell you all something.. I- I really love you all, and ...” Before he could finish Heechul interrupted him

“Love us? You gotta be kidding me.. You don’t love us! YOU ONLY LOVE YOURSELF!” he shouted and stormed out of the hospital room. Heechul was so angry but most of all sad.

Even though he doesn’t tell them often, he loves them very much, more than he loves himself, that’s why in some way he kind of understand Donghae but Donghae, he was someone more special to him than the rest.

“Heechul!” Hankyung wanted to go after him but Donghae told him not to.

“Let him be, I know he doesn’t mean it… I was saying.. after everything is done, I want you to show this video to Kibum.” And he handed the video tape to Leeteuk. “ I know he won’t agree to watch it but please I beg you make him watch it… and you guys have to watch it too but only when Kibum is awake.. okay?”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t want to watch it, and I won’t” Said Kangin

“Kangin.. Please!”

“Don’t worry Donghae, he will watch it” said Leeteuk while giving Kangin a look.

Each one of them promised to watch the video, and before they knew it the nurse came in and took Donghae to the surgery room. Everything was going so fast, they couldn’t even say their goodbyes properly. It was really weird, they were waiting for someone to get better and at the same time for someone to die.  From this day on their life’s we’re going to be very different and full of regrets.

Kangin was going from one side to the other, trying to think of something that could save both of their life’s.

“Hyung, I’m sorry but I can’t let him do this! There’s gotta be another way to safe Kibum and Donghae!” He wanted to go stop the surgery.

“Kangin-ah” Said Leeteuk and stopped Kangin from walking out of the room. “Please don’t do this.. I know you can’t accept this, neither can I.. but”

“Then let’s go stop them!”  he interrupted him.

“I want to, I really do.. But I have to think of Donghae.. I can’t let him go through the same thing when his father died.  I know I would do the same thing, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes but.. maybe..” Kangin didn’t know what to say, he knew he was right but still.

“Maybe what? There is no other solution. They tried everything they could but there was no way to help him.

All the members were crying, except for Sungmin, he was holding it in. They were so hopeless, everything seemed so useless.

They were all waiting for the surgery to end, even though they knew what was going on and what was about to happen, they were hoping for a miracle to happen.

Life could get better..  A miracle…

“I have to go to the bathroom.” Sungmin couldn’t take it anymore. Kyuhyun knew why he was going to the bathroom, but he didn’t go after him, he wanted to give him some time. ‘ I’ll give him 5 minutes and then go after him’ he thought.

While everyone was crying in the hospital, Heechul still didn’t return.  They tried to call him but he turned off his phone, he didn’t want to talk to anyone.

Heechul who never believed in God or anything went to the prayer room, he didn’t know what else to do.

‘What should I do now? How does Siwon do this?’ he looked around and thought of how Siwon prayed and wanted to do the same.

He kneeled down and put his hands in front of him “God, are you there?” he asked and listened carefully for a reply. ‘What am I doing, he’s not going to answer me!’

After realizing how the pray thing is supposed to do he continued “I know that I don’t deserve to ask you anything.. But please could you save him?” Even though he doesn’t believe in God, deep down he hoped he was real and that he would listen to him.

“I- I know I don’t come here often and that I’m not a good person and that I made a lot of mistakes but … Please, I beg you God don’t ..” Heechul suddenly started to cry, his tears were unstoppable. “I beg you, don’t let Donghae die.. PLEASE!” he continued “ I promise I’ll be a better person and I will visit the church more and I will pray more… Please save him!!” Heechul put his head down on his hand and continued to pray in silent.

---

It’s been almost an hour since Heechul left the room and Leeteuk wanted to go find him and see how he’s doing.

“I’m going to find Heechul, I’ll be back soon.” He said and walked out of the room.

“Oh that’s right” Kyuhyun remembered  that it’s be 5 minutes already since Sungmin went to the bathroom. “ I’ll be back, I need to go to the bathroom.” And he also left the room.

“I going too, If you seek me, I’ll be in the prayer room.” Said Siwon and also left the room.

There were only 6 members left in room, everyone was still crying and Ryeowook fell asleep while crying.

---

“Sungmin?” called Kyuhyun, but there was no reply, he looked under the toilet doors and saw his feet. “I know you’re here. Open the door”

At first Sungmin hesitated to open the door but decided to open it anyway.

“Kyuhyun-ah” he said with tears falling from his eyes. This was the first time he didn’t try to hide his tears. Even though Kyuhyun saw him crying before, he never saw so much pain in his eyes. He walked closer to him and pulled him close and hugged him really tight.

“Stupid!” Kyuhyun was getting teary too. “Why do you  always cry alone? Why do you suffer alone?”

“Kyuhyun-ah.. I don’t want them to die!! Why is this happening?”

“I know this is not going to help you but..” Kyuhyun was saying but Sungmin interrupted him and continued with what he was saying.

“Why can’t it be me? I should die instead of them!”

“What?” Kyuhyun broke the hug “Don’t say that.. You really are stupid! You’re as selfish as Donghae is.. If you would go, did you ever thought about me? Don’t you dare to say that ever again!”

“I..I’m” Sungmin didn’t know what to say, he can’t believe that he said that.

“It’s okay as long as you never say it again or even think about it!” Kyuhyun hugged him again.

---

Seeing all the members cry Siwon felt like it was time to pray again. He knew it was too late to ask to save both of them because if your time has come there is no way you can stay longer in this world, but he wanted to pray for the rest of the members to let them have strength to go on.

Siwon finally arrived at the prayer room, he walked in and saw someone praying. ‘Poor soul, he’s probably loosing someone too. He must be as heartbroken as us.’  Thinking about the man who’s prayer, Siwon decided to talk to him as he walked towards him so that he could cheer him up,  even though he needed some comfort himself. How  closer he got how familiar the person seemed to him.

“Hello, young man.. I’m sorry to bother you.. eeuhm .. I-I just.. wa” While Siwon was saying, Heechul looked up with still tears falling from his eyes.

“Hyung?” Siwon was so surprised to see Heechul  in a prayer room.

“Hyung?” he questioned. When he heard Siwon say ‘Hyung’ he somehow felt like crying more. “That’s right.. I was supposed to be their Hyung” Heechul cried even more.

“Hyung, are you all right?” Siwon was in a shock seeing Heechul cry, it wasn’t like him to cry so hard in front of someone. “W-what are you doing here?”

Heechul stood up and wiped away his tears “I-I came here to pray”

“Pray? But .. but you don’t believe in God.”

“I know I said I don’t believe in God.. But now.. I really hope he does.. not once in my life have I  hoped for anything so much like I do now.” Heechul started to get teary again.

“Hyung.. “ Siwon was speechless, he didn’t know what he should say or do to make him feel better, because there wasn’t anything that he could do..”

“Let’ see if your God really does exists!”  With that Heechul walked towards the door “Please save him!” he said silently before he walked out of the prayer room.

---

Hours passed since they took them to the operation room and everyone was waiting still hoping for some good news. They were all 11 together but still missing 2 members to be complete.

Suddenly when no one expecting the doctor came in, everyone stood up and looked at the doctor with hope.

“The operation is over… I don’t know if I should be happy or not that the operation was successful.” Said the doctor looking down, even he didn’t want to see the hurt on their faces.

Even though they knew that was exactly  what they doctor would say they still felt like a piece of them died.

“W..wh..What? Hyung? What did he say.. He? HYUNG? What did he say, I didn’t hear him.” Eunhyuk kept on asking Leeteuk to explain him what the doctor said, but Leeteuk himself wasn’t able to answer, with tears in his eyes and body shaking, Leeteuk just stared at the doctor.

“I’m so sorry… I-I” The doctor couldn’t finish what he was about to say.

“No… No… Doctor No – NOOO, you’re lying.. Hyung, tell me it’s not true.. PLEASE!” Eunhyuk took Leeteuk’s hand and fell down crying. “PLEASE DONGHAE, DON’T LEAVE ME!”

To be continued....