- Kim Seo Yul -

Finally, Jieun and Yong Guk’s solo song had done. The recording had finished and the music video had been made too. Jieun even went through a drastic transformation by coloring her hair blue. For the music video, I asked Himchan to have a part on it. The Public Relation team also worked to promote the single since February, releasing the announcement that Jieun would have new solo song.

Then, one day, it was the day that Jieun would have her first practice for ‘Going Crazy’ stage choreography. As usual, I started my day early in the morning. I guessed ever since I worked at recent company, I became night own and early bird on the same time. I could sleep for just 2 hours if I had to. Lacking of sleep had become a friend of mine sometimes.

After preparing my self, I went out from my apartment. I didn’t live with my mom or my siblings again since I worked at TS Entertainment. I lived in an apartment by my self near the company’s dorm. I guessed it would make me easier to go to the dorm whenever they needed me.

When I almost reached my car, I felt my phone vibrated. I looked at it and found Jieun’s name on the display screen. I quickly picked up the phone.

“Yes, Jieun.”

“Unnie…,” she said with her spoiled voice.

But I noticed that her voice was kinda weird. I stopped. “What’s wrong?”

“I think I got cold.”

I just exhaled as I heard the words. But I couldn’t blame her for being sick. They were very busy and every human had their own limit. I guessed Jieun had reached her limit. Besides, the weather was cold lately.

“Alright, I’ll be right there.”

Then, I came to my car and went in. I drove toward the girl’s dorm. As I drove there, I called Lee Hoon. He had become my company’s personal doctor since I often seek out for him everytime an artist on my company got sick. He was on the hospital today so I told him that I would bring Jieun there.

I parked on the front of the apartment building then went out. Since I was their manager, I knew their password number of their dorm. So I went up to their dorm.

When I entered the dorm, Hyosung came to me as she called me. “Unnie.”

I looked up at her. “Jieun-ie is sick?” I asked as I walked toward their room.

“Dae,” she replied. “She has fever. Last night, she complained that she’s feeling not well.”

I entered their room and saw Jieun laying on the bed while Zinger sat on her bed. Sunhwa had left since early morning for her schedule. Jieun waved at me as she saw me. I sat on her bed and checked on her. She was having fever.

“Have you eaten yet?” I asked Jieun.

“Sunhwa was making her porridge but she didn’t finish it,” Hyosung replied me.

I looked at the girls. “Did she eat medicine?”

“Yes. I gave her medicine for her fever,” Hyosung said. She looked worried about Jieun.

I looked back at Jieun. “Can you get up and walk? I’ll take you to the hospital.”

Jieun nodded. I stood up and helped her to get up from the bed. Jieun got up and walked out to change her clothes. I turned and came out from the room. After changing her clothes with a hoodie sweater and pants, Jieun came out with me. We went to the hospital.

On the hospital, we went to see Lee Hoon. Jieun was having a cold and Lee Hoon suggested that she had some rest. But then, Jieun said that she would have to practice later for her new performance so she insisted that she couldn’t rest for now. Lee Hoon said that he would give Jieun a vitamin shoot for now. But Jieun would need to take plenty of rest whenever she could.

After we were done, we went out and back to the car. As usual, Jieun never sat on the back seat whenever I drove her. She sat on the passenger seat beside me. She lowered the seat since she could lay down a while.

“Unnie,” she called.

“Hummm?” I just hummed to reply her.

“Can I ask you something?”

I smiled. “Sure.”

“What’s your type of guy?”

I felt amused as I heard that kind of question. I smiled. “Why are you asking like that?”

“I just wonder since I never see you dating someone,” Jieun said. “And Unnie never told us your type too.”

I took a slight glance to her. “Is that a matter for you?”

“I’m curious since Unnie knows a lot of good looking guys but no one of them seems to be special for you.”

I chuckled again. “Good looking guys?”

“Yes. For example, Lee Hoon Sonsaengnim.”

I laughed because of it. “Hoon is my friend since elementary school. I don’t know whether I can see him as a guy.”

"So, what's your type of guy?"

I tilted my head again as I smiled. "I don’t know."

"Then let me ask you this.”

I just raised my eyebrows.

“Who is the guy around you that attract you the most?"

That question made me thinking for a while. Then I smiled. “I guess no one.”

Because of it, Jieun pouted her lips. “Ah, unnie.” She complained.

I just chuckled to see her.

But honestly, if I could reply her question, probably I would say that I got interest on Bang Yong Guk. But, it wasn’t because of love. I had interest on Yong Guk because of his talent and his charisma. I must to admit that he got something that drew people to him. Somehow, I couldn’t tell Jieun that I got interest on Yong Guk, right?

But I guessed that what I was looking from a guy. I liked guys with certain charm and charisma. I never knew what kind of charm or charisma that I liked from a guy. But I always attracted with a guy with charisma.

Probably that was why I fell in love with that guy 9 years ago.

And again, I felt a slight tug when I thought about that guy. I exhaled.  I never knew why I could easily remember to him. I guessed everything could make me remembered about him. I guessed I still had some feeling left for that guy. I didn’t know when I would be able to forget about him completely.

And after I got alone on my car, I thought I would need a drink later. I took my phone and looked up for a friend to drink with. I stopped at Jung Young Ri’s name.

Young Ri was my best friend. I had known her since 6^th grade on elementary school. I often told her my problems and all. But I didn’t think that I could ask her to become my drinking buddy. She didn’t drink at all. Drinking would against her principal. She was a priest daughter.

Then I found Lee Hoon’s name. Somehow I thought that he was a perfect drinking buddy for me. Beside, it wasn’t the first time we went out together to have a drink. So, I called him.

“Ya, Hoonie,” I said as soon as he picked up the call. “Do you free tonight?” I paused to hear his reply. He was free from work tonight. “Let’s go out to have a drink.”

And that was why I came to the street vendor where I usually came with my friends. I left my car at the office since I didn’t want to drive later. When I entered the street vendor tent, I could smell the soju smell mixed with the food’s smell. I looked around to find Lee Hoon. The place didn’t have much people to come tonight so I could easily find Lee Hoon. I came to the table.

“Hy,” I greeted him as I sat on the chair. “It’s good to see you here before me.”

“I can come out early from my shift,” he said.

I smiled. “And that’s very rare. Should we celebrate it?” I joked to . Hoon was always late whenever we had appointment. His job at the hospital always kept him late.

Hoon chuckled. Then the waiter came. I ordered another bottle of Soju.

“That’s odd,” he said after the waiter went away.

I looked at him, wondering on why he said that.

“You order Soju,” he said.

I smiled. “I just feel wanted to drink alcohol.”

“You don’t bring your car, do you?” He asked out his concern.

I shook my head. “I left it at the office. I don’t want to drive after I’m drinking. I’ll take bus later.” I took his glass and poured the soju on it then drank it.

I grinned because its taste was too strong for my taste.

“So, what’s wrong?”

I looked up to Hoon.

“You’re having something that bothering you, right?”

I smiled as he guessed right. “How do you know?”

“I notice that whenever you order alcohol, you must be having some problem. It’s not the first time, you know?”

I chuckled. I guessed Hoon had known me so well. “Yeah.”

“So, mind to tell me about it?”

I exhaled again. Hoon was one of the few people who knew about my life. Since I knew him so well, I felt comfortable to tell him everything. I trusted him and I believed that he wouldn’t betray me, just like Young Ri. Both of Hoon and Young Ri were two of the people that I trusted the most beside my own family. I was grateful to have them.

“Somehow I remember again about him,” I told him.

Hoon caught on quickly on who was the guy that I meant. “That guy from your college? Your lecturer?”

I nodded. “I guess I still love him.”

“But he’s already married, right?”

I put my chin on my palm as my elbow rested on the table. “Yeah,” I said as I sighed. “He already had a son too.” I paused. “But, somehow I can’t forget about him.”

A slight smile came across Hoon’s face. “What had happened?”

I knew that Hoon asked why I could remember about him again. So, I told him what had happened earlier with Jieun. “Jieun asked me about my type of guy and somehow my mind came to him in an instant.” I paused as I felt another tug again. I lowered my gaze. I felt that my tears had bundled up on my eyes and ready to fall anytime. I took a deep breath so I could hold it back. “I guess it’s still painful for me.”

“Yeah. You loved him too much,” Hoon said.

I looked back at him and smiled as I drank another glass of soju.

“But you know that you can’t let your self chained to the past, right?”

“I know. I’ve tried. But somehow I can’t find another love.”

“Nobody interest you?”

I smiled. “I guess so.”

Yeah, I guessed it was right that nobody interest me. I knew that my feeling to Yong Guk wasn’t love so I didn’t tell Hoon about my interest to Yong Guk. But in the most of the time, I really hoped that I could forget that guy.

- Bang Yong Guk -

I almost reached the bus stop when I saw Seo Yul standing on the bus stop shelter. I frowned to see her there. I didn’t know why she took the bus. But it was my first time to see her using the bus. I took off my earphone as I came toward her.

“Nunna.” I called her.

She turned to see me and smiled softly. “Annyeong.”

“You’re taking a bus too?” I asked her.

She nodded. But then, I realized that there was a faint smell of soju from her breath.

“You have been drinking?” I asked.

She just smiled. It was a fake smile but I didn’t care about it. I was more concerned at the fact that she was drinking. It surprised me to know that she drank. I thought that she didn’t drink alcohol at all when Untouchable hyungs told me that she didn’t drink. But I guessed they might not know because she never drank in the front of them.

I looked at her from head to toe. Seriously, Seo Yul didn’t look like drunk. She was looking downward to her foot and she was swinging her foot as if she was kicking something invisible. But I noticed that her eyes looked sad. I had a thought that probably Seo Yul was someone who drank whenever she got problems. But what kind of problem that made her drank, it was a question that lingered in my mind.

Out of my concern, I reached out to hold her arm and pulled her closer. She looked at me as she was moved closer.

“You’re not drunk, aren’t you?” I asked.

She smiled amusingly. “Three cups of soju won’t make me drunk,” she said. “But I just don’t want to drive.”

“Is there any problem?”

A slight smile came to her face. It seemed that she was appreciated my concern toward her. But then, her expression seemed like to push me aside as if she was telling me that it was not a problem that I supposed to worry about.

“Don’t worry,” she said as she patted my hand and slipped her arm off from my hand. “It’s not something that you supposed to worry about.”

That gesture again. I just realized that Seo Yul would always slip her hand off whenever I touched her. She never did that clearly like brushed my hand off from her hand. But she always patted my hand first before she took it off or slipped her hand away. Somehow, I was thinking that it was her way to make distance. But I guessed she did that only toward guys because I often saw her linking arms with Secret members. Probably she didn’t like to be touched by guys. So, I guessed I would have to be careful with that. But somehow, it made me felt that I had been rejected by her. I wondered how she felt or thought about me.

Then the bus came. She walked into the bus and I followed her. The bus was empty with few people on it. But I didn’t care about them all. All that I concerned about was Seo Yul. I was worried about her.

Seo Yul took the second seat from the back. I followed her and sat beside her. I looked at her as the bus drove away. She seemed didn’t care with me sitting next to her. She was looking outside and engulfed with her own mind for a moment. She exhaled then lowered her position and leaned her head to the window beside her as she crossed her arms across her chest. It was the gesture of self-protection.

I looked away. Seriously, I hated to see her like this. When I saw Seo Yul like this, it was making me frustrated. Seo Yul had helped me a lot. But I did so few for her. And sometimes, I felt that she was one of my close friends. But this kind of moment made me realized that she had never really opened up her self to me. I realized that she was different from Jieun or Zinger because of her age. I thought it was probably the reason why she didn’t want to open up on me because she thought that I couldn’t help her much. And probably it was the reason why she never told her problem at me.

Because I’m younger than her.

Then I felt something fell to my shoulder. I looked back at Seo Yul and found her sleeping with her head leaning on my shoulder. It was already late actually and I was sure that Seo Yul was tired so I let her slept for a while. I looked at her as she slept. She was beautiful even when she slept. She looked very peaceful. But then, I saw a trace of tear on her cheek. And somehow I felt something painful inside my chest. It made me sad and angry to know that she had shed a tear. I wanted to wipe her tear. But I realized that I couldn’t do it since she was still building up a barrier for me. It was making me frustrated. I exhaled and looked back to the front.

I remembered my question that I asked to her few weeks ago.

Who am I for her?

My question had left unanswered. But somehow I felt that she never saw me as a close friend. I was just an ordinary friend for her. It broke my heart to think that I wasn’t someone that special for her. I dropped my gaze. Somehow, it was making me sad. I wished that I could move from being just an ordinary friend for her. I wanted to be someone that closed with her.

I woke her up when we were almost reaching our destination. I guessed she was an easy type to wake up since I didn’t get any resistance or difficulties when I woke her.

“We’re almost arrived,” I told her softly as she woke up.

“Ah, yeah,” she said as she realized what I meant. “Thank you.”

We got off from the bus. She turned to look at me.

“I guess you’d better back to the dorm now. It’s already late and you must be tired.”

I nodded. Seo Yul was smiling. But somehow I felt that she was forcing a smile.

“See you tomorrow,” she said then turned and walked away without even hearing my reply.

Actually, I wanted to leave. But then, when I saw her back on me, I felt that I wasn’t supposed to leave her alone. So, I went after her.

“Nunna,” I called her.

She stopped and turned to look at me.

“On second thought…,” I said as I stopped in the front of her, “…I guess it’d better if I walk you home first. It’s late and it’s not good for a woman to walk alone.” I gave her a logical reason.

She smiled. “Okay,” she said.

So I accompanied her back to her apartment. But as we walked, we didn’t talk. She even didn’t try to talk with me. She seemed to be busy with her own mind so I let her be. But I kept watching her.

At that moment, I realized that Seo Yul was the type of woman who would separate personal and business problem. She was having bright and extrovert personality. But she kept all her personal problem so well to her self. The people at the company didn’t know much about Seo Yul’s personal life. Even Yong Jun hyung, Untouchable hyungs or Jang Timjangnim didn’t know much about her.

I knew that she had lost her father on her age 15, that she had 2 younger siblings, her family lived on Nowon-gu, she had a stalker (plus a boyfriend) back on her middle school and she was graduated from the Computer Science major on a third grade university. But other than that, her past and her self were something that I wondered about. I had never seen her friends or even her family beside Heojangnim and Lee Hoon Sonsaengnim.

I released a sigh softly as I realized that I didn’t know much about Seo Yul. I knew that it was supposed not to bother me so much. But I was bothered by it. Something within me didn’t except the fact that I knew less about her. I had a thought that if I called my self as her close friend, it meant that I had to know her better than this. Besides, I was worried about her. I didn’t know what problem that she had, but I hated to see her crying.

Then we were stopping on an apartment building. As I had thought from a team leader like her, she lived on a great place. I was sure that her place was quietly expensive for my pocket. She turned to see me.

“Thank you for walking me home, Yong Guk-ah,” she said with slight bow at me.

“Are you feeling better?” I asked.

She smiled. “Thank you for worrying about me. But I don’t think it’s something that can be forgotten easily even after 9 years,” she said casually.

Even though she said it casually as if she was joking, the words ‘9 years’ seemed weird for me. But I didn’t think she would tell me the meaning of that ‘9 years’ on her words.

“Why?”

She smiled again. But this time, her smile seemed to be honest. She appreciated the fact that I was asking about her. “Ah…” She scratched her head behind her ear. “It’s something that I want to keep for my self.”

“Am I not your friend?”

She smiled in a comforting way. “Anniya. You’re my friend. But it’s just an old story that actually I don’t want to remember.”

“But you still remember it, right?”

She smiled again. And this time, I could feel that her smile was a sad smile. “I guess I am,” she said weakly as she lowered her gaze.

But as she lowered her gaze, I could see tears started to come back to her eyes. She took a deep breath. I guessed it was her habit for keeping her from crying or suppressing her feeling. But I really wanted to raise her chin and wiped those tears away. But then, I was afraid that she would show rejection again. So, I restrained my self. She looked up on me again and smiled.

“I guess you better go back now. You will have to go early tomorrow for the performance shoot,” she said.

But I still felt worry about her. I guessed she had seen my expression because she was smiling widely.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I have survived for 9 years on my own and I know that I will be fine,” she said as she smiled. “But you really need to rest tonight. I don’t want the managers told me that you’re doing bad performance tomorrow.”

I smiled. “Alright, Nunna.”

“So, good night and see you tomorrow.” She patted my arm then turned and walked toward the door.

I just looked at her as she walked toward the door then I dropped my gaze and turned. I couldn’t help but still worried about her. I was afraid that she would cry again when she was alone.

But what can I do for her?

“Ah, Yong Guk.”

I looked back again as I heard her call. Seo Yul stood on the door with a sincere smile on her face.

“Thank you.”

I smiled to hear that. “You’re welcome, Nunna.”

She waved then went in to the door. Even though I was worried about her, I believed that she would be fine because I knew that Seo Yul was a strong woman.

And I sincerely hope that she will be fine.

---

Please remember that this fic is using Korean Age system which is +1 year from the International Age system.

And it's just a work of fiction. So don't trust the timeline too much.

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